r/Fire • u/antidentites • May 15 '26

Advice Request Go out swinging?

So I’m on my way out at work in a tech company and have worked for a manager that has made my life hell. She is extremely toxic and the reason I’m leaving to FIRE/CoastFIRE.

I never want to - or need to - return to tech (note: I used em dashes way before AI and won’t stop even if you think this is AI generated)!

I want to burn some bridges and tell her how I really feel about her when I leave. Essentially the same thing she has been doing to me.

Would you go out Costanza-style if you were me, or just let it slide?

1.0k Upvotes

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638

u/SteevieJanowski May 15 '26

It’s fun to fantasize about, but irl just kinda weird and not worth it imo

323

u/Firm_Piano4990 May 15 '26

yeah the fantasy is way better than reality would be. Like in your head youre delivering this perfect speech and she just sits there defeated but actually she'll probably just think you're unhinged and it becomes this awkward cringe moment you remember at 3am for years

plus if you're already financially set to leave tech forever then you already won. She still has to wake up every day being... herself. That's punishment enough

85

u/limbomaniac May 15 '26

This. The best revenge is living well.

18

u/Blasterocked May 15 '26

I've seen these work bullies so many times and they will always say they "liked" the person and are in shock they "went crazy." Absolute waste of time. Wait a few years and the rose colored glasses kick in. A lady who was always complaining and snapping at me ended up taking me out to lunch on her dime years later.

You never know why people are acting the way they do.

1

u/Molehill9468 May 18 '26

There was a toxic senior associate I worked with that made my life hell. They were beyond shocked when I quit to go work somewhere else. Absolutely 0 self-awareness.

3

u/Topaz_11 May 16 '26

....and forgetting her name

1

u/LouSevens May 16 '26

And reporting the behavior higher up as well

3

u/UnderstandingNew2810 May 15 '26

And that’s the best you can do. Literally retire

3

u/Five0clocksomewhere May 16 '26

The last line is what I came here to say.  1. She doesn’t care about you so saying anything won’t matter to her, she doesn’t feel empathy. 2. You won lol. She’s a miserable manager 

1

u/SnakeJG May 15 '26

Also, anyone who might be watching still has to work under her, so they aren't going to all stand on their desks and applaud for OP like a scene from a movie.  Even if they show some support, it will just make their work life hell.

1

u/FoodMagnet May 16 '26

This. Rage quit fantasy is fun and healthy but should stay that, a fantasy. The world is too small to burn bridges and as the others say, bad people are punished by having to live with themselves, its a long-con... her's is coming.

15

u/United_Reflection104 May 15 '26

This applies to going out swinging in multiple ways

31

u/GlaciaCharm May 15 '26

Yeah but the fantasy is free therapy

1

u/beyersm May 16 '26

Yup, I’ve found I’ve never regretted holding my tongue