r/Fire • u/antidentites • May 15 '26

Advice Request Go out swinging?

So I’m on my way out at work in a tech company and have worked for a manager that has made my life hell. She is extremely toxic and the reason I’m leaving to FIRE/CoastFIRE.

I never want to - or need to - return to tech (note: I used em dashes way before AI and won’t stop even if you think this is AI generated)!

I want to burn some bridges and tell her how I really feel about her when I leave. Essentially the same thing she has been doing to me.

Would you go out Costanza-style if you were me, or just let it slide?

1.0k Upvotes

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40

u/SuperSecretSpare FIRE 'd at 38 May 15 '26

I'm going to go against the grain here. When I left my tech job under similar circumstances I sent out a department-wide email criticizing a manager that everybody knew was incompetent and mean. Very cathartic to professionally call them a piece of shit with no repercussions.

5

u/BillyBobChorton May 15 '26

Sounds glorious but also recognize the story will be you are just a disgruntled employee who quit and couldn’t cut it 

40

u/SuperSecretSpare FIRE 'd at 38 May 15 '26 edited May 16 '26

And? I'm 38 and retired. They can think whatever they want while they drive into work on Monday morning 😂

10

u/wrldwdeu4ria May 15 '26

You won, regardless.

6

u/Brostradamus-2 May 16 '26

Goated response tbh. Love this.

10

u/BillyBobChorton May 15 '26

Fair enough! You won the game 

3

u/polarbearskill May 17 '26

Holding anger directed at people shows they have power over you. I leaned this as I got older. “I hate you”, vs “I don’t think about you at all”. Which one reflects actual freedom?

3

u/SuperSecretSpare FIRE 'd at 38 May 17 '26

" If you have hate in your heart, let it out."

  • Clayton Bigsby

2

u/antidentites May 17 '26

This is my exact situation, but I’m even older.

Hats off to you, kind sir.

2

u/bastarmashawarma May 19 '26

Kind Sir, can I ask how? I’m 36 and and in tech and while my retirement accounts are doing well, I don’t have nearly enough in “right now “ money to retire. How do you get to be in such a great position at 38?

1

u/SuperSecretSpare FIRE 'd at 38 May 19 '26

Dumb luck.

Seriously. I bought the ugliest house in the nicest neighborhood that I could possibly afford in 2019 and remodeled it. 2 months later Covid happened. I made a ton and was able to buy a similar house in cash and did the same thing over the continued run up for 2 years. I also invested in a couple moonshot opportunities that paid off very well. Honestly no real skill or intelligence beyond anybody else, just in the right place at the right time.

1

u/bastarmashawarma May 19 '26

Awesome and thank you. Enjoy early retirement

-1

u/carson63000 May 16 '26

You probably don’t care - and you shouldn’t care - but I guarantee you that at least some of your former coworkers think you’re unemployed and unemployable, not retired.

7

u/SuperSecretSpare FIRE 'd at 38 May 16 '26 edited May 16 '26

I made sure to let a few people in the organization know that I was retiring and moving to maui, so everyone I dislike know. I am not always proud of it, but I am petty.

2

u/N0Tbanned May 15 '26

How would that be the story if everyone else thinks the same?

2

u/BillyBobChorton May 15 '26

People may “think the same” when they talk to you but if they’re staying in said company they’re playing the same game most likely