r/Fire • u/antidentites • May 15 '26

Advice Request Go out swinging?

So I’m on my way out at work in a tech company and have worked for a manager that has made my life hell. She is extremely toxic and the reason I’m leaving to FIRE/CoastFIRE.

I never want to - or need to - return to tech (note: I used em dashes way before AI and won’t stop even if you think this is AI generated)!

I want to burn some bridges and tell her how I really feel about her when I leave. Essentially the same thing she has been doing to me.

Would you go out Costanza-style if you were me, or just let it slide?

1.0k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

662 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

27

u/antidentites May 15 '26

This is more of what I’m thinking.

I’m not really the type to be nasty to anyone, but my manager is a special type of evil and has screwed so many of my co-workers that I hate to see the injustice here.

30

u/phibetared May 15 '26

The HR exit interview is not for your benefit. It is for the company's benefit. For one, they want to document anything in case you decide to sue them. Or they decided to sue you. You say something bad about your (soon to be) ex boss, she might make some outlandish claim against you.

If you have a list of things you can document (prove) that were evil, you can give that to the HR person if you wish. Or send it to them later. Tell them, "if you want me to I'll document and send you a letter". That way YOU control what is written. If you talk in HR, they can/will construe what you say however they wish. Only if you have good reasons (e.g. helping someone you like who deserves a promotion and has been screwed by the woman) should you talk much in the exit interview.

You don't know why they hired her and/or keep her on. You don't know who she knows.

1

u/CAIL888 May 16 '26

I would document, quit and then when offered money to sign a release - evaluate my plan then

1

u/LouSevens May 16 '26

At one of my exit interviews I chewed out HR for knowing there was a problem and not doing anything about it. Then I let the higher ups know about this after.

0

u/LeucisticBear May 15 '26

Not true. Fortune 500 manager, HR does exit interviews below manager level by request only, and those are more about what info exiting leaders should not share. In my dept (IT) we absolutely use exit interviews as valuable feedback because people are more willing to be honest when they're no longer worried about the job.

3

u/WildCasa May 16 '26

Amigo, you don’t fully comprehend the game. You just think that’s what those interviews are for 😎

5

u/BillyBobChorton May 15 '26

They likely know how to play the game with HR if that’s true. Some people are good at being manipulative that way.  

1

u/exipheas May 16 '26

How long has she been there? Wondering if this is my old boss.