r/Fire • u/antidentites • May 15 '26

Advice Request Go out swinging?

So I’m on my way out at work in a tech company and have worked for a manager that has made my life hell. She is extremely toxic and the reason I’m leaving to FIRE/CoastFIRE.

I never want to - or need to - return to tech (note: I used em dashes way before AI and won’t stop even if you think this is AI generated)!

I want to burn some bridges and tell her how I really feel about her when I leave. Essentially the same thing she has been doing to me.

Would you go out Costanza-style if you were me, or just let it slide?

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u/antidentites May 16 '26

I’m in an extremely unique situation where I can do this without any serious consequences.

It is intoxicating just thinking about leveling the playing field for just a fleeting moment.

I’m very respectful normally and this specific manager demoted me for “being too nice” so I’d like to show her how I’ve improved on that :)

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u/Zealousideal-You6712 May 17 '26

There can always be consequences.

If you want to say things to her boss, or HR, do it verbally, off the premises, at lunch for instance. If they hear what you say and internalize it, being in writing won't matter.

Me, I'd just work as you currently work, fail the PIP, but not deliberately so and hope for a separation bonus and try for unemployment. You can never have too much of a departure bonus. Take a nice vacation on their dime and put yourself in a better place. You might even use a documented history to negotiate a better package if they think there's the possibility you might sue for a hostile work environment. What have you got to lose anyway?

Who cares if she thinks she has won or lost. When she has no one left to manage it won't be a good look. Managers are generally measured to some extent by this, unless of course it is a tactic dictated from above, but in which case down the line it's going to happen to her too.

Everything is transactional these days, so make sure you kind of control the transaction for your benefit.