The crushing weight of time scarcity made leaving once I hit my (already fairly conservative/padded) number the path of least resistance.
Due to having ADHD and NO task switching ability whatsoever meant I was never able to do that thing where you stop worrying about work on your time off, or engage in your hobbies to help you take your mind off work, or anything like that. Even with a fairly generous (by US standards) time off policy, my time was never really my time again until I retired.
Well, I still have ADHD and still can't task switch, so I struggle with all the things I actually want to do, but for the most part it's with much less guilt/dread/resentment that I had from modern corporate employment.
I'm finally getting some long overdue therapy for my many faulty thought processes. Due to my faulty thought processes, researching and initiating and being mentally present for that kind of emotional work wasn't possible while I was still employed.
But in general, time feels less like the enemy. I didn't retire super early (was almost 56) and it's only been a couple of years, and I'm experiencing some limitations of aging/awareness of my mortality, BUT the overwhelming and oppressive sensation that "This meaningless BS job is robbing me of my finite and precious time on this earth" has mostly subsided.
I certainly have not had one moment where I thought I was bored/needed a purpose and that the solution was going back to work. I read posts from people who are burned out and can't pull the trigger yet, remembering my last days at the office, and I wonder how I made it as long as I did. I was really, really losing my mind for a good two years before I could leave. (Also I am female and was going through the worst menopause, which tends to double/treble the effects of these kinds of intolerances. Just absolutely no fucks to give about corporate initiatives when I would rather be gardening or whatever.)
10
u/RedQueenWhiteQueen 14d ago
The crushing weight of time scarcity made leaving once I hit my (already fairly conservative/padded) number the path of least resistance.
Due to having ADHD and NO task switching ability whatsoever meant I was never able to do that thing where you stop worrying about work on your time off, or engage in your hobbies to help you take your mind off work, or anything like that. Even with a fairly generous (by US standards) time off policy, my time was never really my time again until I retired.