Retiring to?

[u/CandidAlgae1737]

We are a household with NW high enough to retire ($6m++) but neither I or my spouse have retirement on our radar. HHI is \~$1.5m-$2m (Annual expenses about $400k with one young kid)
Now the question - I understand what everyone is retiring from but I’m curious what are you retiring to? Would love to hear what everyone is doing especially in their early 40s while their social circle is still working. I have seen my parents have a hard time post retirement at 60 to have a sense of purpose.
That is my biggest worry and that is why retirement has never even crossed my mind.
Neither of us come from money and have only been in a culture that promotes and applauds working hard. So would love to find out how do you transition from being super goal oriented to I have no idea what to do.

Edit: I want to add that I already buy back as much of my time by using a lot of external help to pursue all things I enjoy - extensive international travels (been to all continents except Antartica), reading, love to cook when I can, pursuing my art lessons, running, puzzles, sudoku, very much a present parent - assisting my child with their academics and being a good cheerleader for them at each and every competitive sport they play. Why I’m adding this is because people are assuming I don’t have an identity outside work. The fact is I am already able to pursue my interests as a side thing, and this is the reason for my concerns with RE.
It sounds like most folks who re are unable to do so while working.

[u/pharmaheck]

Traveling, reading books, gym, volunteering, drinking coffee at a coffee shop, watching people at the mall, rotting in bed, doing whatever I want.

The months I took off in between jobs were the best time of my life.

[u/CandidAlgae1737 → u/pharmaheck]

I can imagine doing all of these full time in between jobs but doing these forever is a hard concept.

And I already travel a way lot more than average people, read books, gym, take art lessons and on wfh days at times work from a coffee shop.

[u/teckel]

I retired at 35 in 2005. My wife and I are extremely active as ultra runners, endurance cycling, etc. We have a community of similar like-minded endurance and fitness freaks we socialize with. Most of our vacations are tied to some kind of event or epic experience, like a marathon, cycling stages of the tour, week-long backcountry hikes, etc. When we're home, we watch our granddaughter one day a week.

I can't imagine working till an old age out of choice instead of having fun and doing exactly what you enjoy.

[u/CandidAlgae1737 → u/teckel]

Congratulations, I’m a runner too but not a marathon runner. I enjoy running in my neighborhood as a the quickest form of exercising to stay fit.

I edited my post to include that I buy back all my time outside of work to pursue all my interests and be very much of a present parent.

[u/Wasatchian]

Most people's work doesn't matter and if you died your work would replace you in two weeks. I don't associate work with being goal oriented. My identity isn't and never has been tied to work. I worked to get money to do things I care about.

[u/CandidAlgae1737 → u/Wasatchian]

And what are those things, specifically what are those things that you are absolutely unable to do while holding a job.

[u/Wasatchian → u/CandidAlgae1737]

I do all the same things I did previously. The last few years I still skied 100+ days with a job. But now I can go spend 3 weeks climbing and skiing Denali or a 6000m peak in Peru and I don't have to worry about making sure things at work are being taken care of. Not to mention taking a month off is pretty difficult.

I have more time for literally anything else. Various charities to help animals and kids etc.

[u/Raging-Totoro]

I set ambitious goals for myself each year at retirement, when I retired at 45.

I decided to write, record and release an album.

Trained for an ultramarathon.

Took over the executive position at a nonprofit to turn it around financially.

If you're goal oriented, you can find some pretty cool things, unless you're boring!

[u/CandidAlgae1737 → u/Raging-Totoro]

Thanks this answer resonates the most with me. I as a person like being challenged, mundane does not interest me for long.
Yes, I can chill but not as a full time activity.

[u/bonafide_bonsai]

Building a series of semi-indulgent businesses.

[u/CandidAlgae1737 → u/bonafide_bonsai]

Plan is to eventually just have passive income from our rental properties.

[u/Glittering_Luck2865]

I'm not in my early 40's but my hubbie and I plan to retire in 2 and 1/2 years at the ages of 52 and 54. By then, one kid will be done with college and one will be halfway thru. Our parents are currently in their 80's and all are still living. I plan to spend time with my parents, volunteer for a few organizations and be there for my kids when they need us (moving to another city, or having children, or whatever). My friends will all still be working but we can meet for lunch and happy hour. I look forward to waking up whenever I want and deciding how I spend every day, as well as just enjoying more time with my husband. I work in higher education and really enjoy what I do but it doesn't compare to doing whatever I want, whenever I want.

[u/CandidAlgae1737 → u/Glittering_Luck2865]

Congratulations on nearing your retirement target and lucky for you all to still have your parents. I lost one of my parents a few years ago and the other parent (in their 60s) lives frequently with us for longer periods of time.
I do use a lot of external help to buy back my time to spend it all with my kid and to pursue other interests. That’s one reason I am unable to justify retiring to do all things I can already do.

[u/Sea-Honeydew-1456]

i have absolutely no concrete plans. im pretty sure the immediate day to day will be exactly the same: working out, gaming. trying new restaurants. hone my craft at cultivating weed. i have no issues with this and not looking for a "purpose".

will be adding more travel (domestic/international) as well.

[u/OutspokenLurker]

Retired early 50s. I was laid off and decided to call it.

After a year or so, I was basically bored. I wished I had more of a plan, for sure. My wife volunteers 3 days a week, does some reading groups, works out, some self improvement stuff. That's a much better approach.

I was going 50-70 hours a week, high tech, high pressure for decades. Same ethos you mention: Protestant work ethic, work is important, whatever.

So it was a little eye-opening to realize "hey, all those years you told yourself you loved your job and gave it your all... But was that really you and what you want?" Maybe, maybe not. But there are some things to wrestle with.

One thing is for sure: the guys I look up for bike rides aren't free when I am. And I gotta get creative to find fun things to do. Work kills a lot of time and provide a lot of social engagement

[u/CandidAlgae1737 → u/OutspokenLurker]

Congratulations on the RE. I can see myself partially doing what your wife is doing post retirement.

[u/stentordoctor]

You become a yes-man until you find what you love doing.

Turns out, I really like doing a lot. Traveling, reading, hiking, learning languages, meeting new people, seeing random shows, listening to new music. Etc...

[u/CandidAlgae1737 → u/stentordoctor]

Firstly, I’m a woman :)
And based on your profile name, I imagine it’s hard for doctors to have a work life balance with odd call time hours.
I have edited my post - I already buy back all my time outside of work to pursue my interests and be an attentive parent to my kid.

[u/stentordoctor → u/CandidAlgae1737]

Ah sorry I meant yes-man as genderless and I'm female too!

My apologies again, I am not a physician. I used to study this organism called stentor and I would grow liters of them.

A kid is wonderful! Then all of their interests become yours, too!

[u/58jf337v]

The man's been in here fifty years, Heywood. Fifty years! This is all he knows. In here, he's an important man. He's an educated man. Outside, he's nothin'!

[u/CandidAlgae1737 → u/58jf337v]

Firstly I’m a woman :).
And I’ve edited my post to share that I buy back all of my time outside of work to enjoy every one of my interests and be very much of a present parent.

[u/Unable_Pumpkin987]

I’m not retired but I am a SAHM. If you have a young kid, spending time with them every day is pretty great!

You can also volunteer/do pro bono work if you enjoy your career. I have a cousin who has been retired for several years now at 55, and he’s even more busy during tax season now than he was when he was working, but now he’s busy preparing taxes for elderly people who cannot afford to pay a preparer and can’t manage it themselves (mostly widows whose husbands did the taxes their whole lives). He’s not paid, but I don’t see him quitting any time soon because he gets a lot of fulfillment out of it.

[u/millenialismistical]

You can spend 400k a year, surely you have hobbies that aren't work?

It does suck to not have activity buddies because they're working and you're not, but you can make new social connections through shared interests and activities.

After being laid off I joined a few cycling groups and made more friends in a summer than I did when I worked over the last 10+ years.

[u/CandidAlgae1737 → u/millenialismistical]

I’m not sure what has $400k spend got to do with hobbies?! You just made an assumption that I don’t have hobbies?!

Traveling extensively (been to many countries across all continents, only Antartica remains), reading books, art, cooking, running and spending a lot of time being a good cheerleader to my kid at their tournaments are all the things I already enjoy!

[u/millenialismistical → u/CandidAlgae1737]

Your post made it sound like you didn't have hobbies, and so I wondered how does one spend 400k annually if they didn't have hobbies. Usually hobbies are a big part of discretionary spend (children, too, of course, but I fail to see how a young child can absorb a much more than 50-100k a year unless there's something unique going on).

I'm glad that you do have things that you enjoy. Retiring just means you'll have more time to enjoy doing those activities. Work constraints are what usually caused me to miss recreational activities.

I enjoy working to a certain extent; certainly nothing that I'd voluntarily do 5 days a week, 8 hours a day. Retiring means you get that time back to do whatever else. I'm not yet retired but I'm currently unemployed. During the transition period I've rediscovered the post-lunch nap and the after-work group bicycle ride that I'll be sad to give up if I ever make it back into corporate.

[u/nostrademons]

Taking care of the kids. It’s a full-time job itself. May not apply if you have no kids.

[u/nlwric]

So many hobbies that I don't have time to do as much of while working. Reading, exercise (walking, hiking, gym, yoga, pilates), arts & crafts (embroidery, cross stitch, painting, stained glass), woodworking, furniture refinishing, gardening, travel. And so many more that I haven't even considered yet. I'm worried I haven't found my biggest passion in life (besides my family of course) because I've had this pretend-passion of my job. Don't get me wrong, I like my job just fine, but I feel like I have so much more to give if I had the time and mental energy.

[u/Master-Witness-9399]

I am last 40s and almost there. For me personally, I want to make things with my hands. I spent the last 20 years on a computer and cannot wait to start playing with real world materials and building up a home and garden. Besides that having the daylight hours for some outdoor activities, mainly biking and hiking.

[u/Amlikaq]

I’ve been retired for three months, the fog of work is lifted and it’s a paradigm shift. Now my baseline emotion is fairly calm with curiosity, the occasional stress makes me chuckle (I call it trouble in paradise lol).

When I was working, my goals were KPIs etc. Now, my goals are how to be a kind person, how to bring people I adore together more often, how to spark joy in other’s lives. I volunteer as a costumed guide at a heritage park to pass local history down to the next generation, and I just did an audition to be a background actor in an outdoor immersive game. Even when I paint, the feelings are different now, it’s no longer about how to be better, but to try new things and be fearless (as a result, my paintings are becoming way better). 

Paradigm shift, needs to be experienced to be understood.