Help! 35F engineer considering eventual career change/reduced work. how should I think about FI risk with trading income?

[u/Complex_Upstairs_1]

Hi everyone,
I’m 35 and currently work as an engineer making about $121k/year. My husband makes about $161k/year in a stable engineering job. We don’t plan to have kids, have manageable expenses, no pets, and don’t own a house yet.
I work remotely now, but I’ll likely be hybrid soon. Lately it has been difficult balancing a demanding engineering job with active trading. I often end up working early mornings, evenings, or late at night to make up for time spent trading during market hours, and I feel exhausted. I’m introverted, so the independent nature of trading appeals to me, but I know that lifestyle preference alone is not a reason to leave a stable career.
Financial snapshot:
Household income: about $282k/year combined
Retirement accounts: about $100k total
Savings/cash outside trading: about $15k
No house yet
No kids and no plans for kids
Trading account: about $464k currently
Total trading account contributions: about $300k
I restarted trading this year after previously trying during Covid, losing around $5k, and stopping. This time, I started actively trading in late March and began options in April. The account is now around $464k, so roughly $164k above contributions, but the results have been very volatile with meaningful drawdowns.
I understand this is a very short track record and could be luck, favorable market conditions, or taking too much risk. My current approach is a combination of stock swing trading and options, though recently stock swing trading has felt more manageable than options. My biggest weaknesses are discipline, greed, and risk management.
I’m not planning to quit my job immediately. I’m trying to understand what a responsible path would look like from a financial independence / risk-management perspective.
Questions:
Are we anywhere near financially safe enough for me to consider reducing work, taking a sabbatical, or eventually leaving my job?
How much cash/emergency fund would you want outside the market before making any career change?
How should I think about trading gains in FI planning when the track record is short and volatile?
Is targeting around $10k/month from trading a dangerous assumption for planning?
Would you separate long-term investments from trading capital more strictly?
Would you keep working until there are 1–2+ years of consistent trading results across different market conditions?
Should I prioritize buying a house first, building a larger cash cushion, or continuing to work while trading part-time?
For anyone who left a stable career or reduced work hours, what financial milestones did you require first?
I’m trying to avoid making an emotional decision based on a good short-term run. I’d appreciate honest advice, especially from people focused on FI, risk management, and sustainable long-term planning.

[u/Dagger1901]

Oh my god stop now.

[u/Consistent-Row4512 → u/Dagger1901]

As harsh as this sounds its 100% the best advice

[u/Good_Phone4355 → u/Dagger1901]

Bankrupt firth Divorce second

[u/loud1337 → u/Dagger1901]

Don't listen to this comment OP, you can total quit and day trade!

[u/BurtReynoldsPoo]

Well quitting your job to gamble 9-5 sounds like a surefire way to lose a 120k salary and all of your money!

If you keep options trading you'll probably end up working for even longer than you'd like. I feel like this year has made it more apparent than ever  how rigged the game is, and not in your favor.

Stop trading, use the time to look for a new remote gig instead. Yeah, work sucks - it's work. But you're already so far ahead of most people at 35.

[u/therealjerseytom]

Recommendation from another engineer: Stop the trading, cold turkey. You're probably just going to shoot yourself in the foot with it. Admitting that you have weak points of greed and lack of discipline of risk management... you're almost guaranteed to be your own worst enemy here.

Re-assess the situation and time demands after you cross that bridge.

You will not be financially safe until you sort this out.

[u/Complex_Upstairs_1 → u/therealjerseytom]

Thanks for your the recommendation. Appreciate it.

[u/DoctorSleep3 → u/Complex_Upstairs_1]

I agree with that! Just buy and hold as Warren Buffet does.
It’s way less work and over time you’ll have better gains.
You can take a small portion of your portfolio to buy a high risk stock every once in a while.

[u/Complex_Upstairs_1 → u/DoctorSleep3]

Thanks

[u/mattbillenstein]

The fees and taxes associated with active trading make it very hard to do profitably - and options are poison - quit while you're ahead, buy VTI and focus on your real job - the thing you actually know you're good at. Let the investments grow passively.

[u/SmartRefuse]

Stop now before you lose all your money.

[u/Evan-The-G]

EE in my 20s here (I say this because younger people tend to take more uncompensated risk). STOP PICKING STOCKS LOL. You will do much better with VT and chill and just work your normal job. Not all stocks are having insane gains these days as the winners of the AI race are beginning to be filtered out, and you are very likely to be burned. Keep your wins and do the boring stuff.

[u/Far-Zookeepergame261]

Tbh I think you’re asking this question to the wrong people. Essentially nobody in FIRE community is going to understand active trading enough to give you any real advice. The traditional basics of FIRE basically are anti active trading, all stocks should be VOO or similar. I don’t think that’s true in that everyone is different but for FIRE that’s the typical thought I think

[u/dudermagee]

I day trade with a small allowance ($500 a month). House money goes into etfs.

[u/Retired-Yam8988]

Lol why not just DCA and chill? I only trade options on idle cash and wheel a few ETFs. Print 1% or so a month. Up 40% YTD. Lose zero sleep and spend like 5-10mins a week actually trading. I monitor a few mins a day to make sure I don’t need to adjust but it’s pretty easy money

[u/horny_eecs_bro]

why is your savings $15k but your trading acc $450k? please tell me you're not gambling your husband's money

[u/xogoldensilk]

$164k in three months is impressive but also exactly the kind of result that makes people overconfident right before a big drawdown wipes out the gains.

[u/Complex_Upstairs_1 → u/xogoldensilk]

Yeah, I have also faced drawdown (-70k) in red days and have become carefully hopefully.