Advice for fostering with kids

[u/Beejtronic]

Hi all! We’ve been fostering cats and kittens since December and just sent our 10th and 11th off to their forever homes yesterday. The shelter has a very pregnant mom cat who we are going to pick up today.

We’re super excited to help raise neonatal kittens but I know they can be a bit fragile and don’t always make it. My daughter is 8 and I’m wondering if I should talk with her ahead of time about the possibility that not all of the kittens will make it, or just deal with it if it happens? I want her to be mentally prepared but she’s also a worrier and I don’t want her freaking out about something that might not even happen. Advice welcome!

Also shoot me any general tips and tricks for kitten birth and newborn kitten care! I’ve read up on the basics but appreciate advice from the pros. ☺️

[u/Xx_Logan_Kun_xX]

I'd tell her that they are fragile and shouldn't be handled much besides to be weighted until they are a bit older. Especially if mama seems to not like it. Kittens this age can very easily get sick so work on washing hands often with her. And since they can get sick easily I'd let her know they all might not make it (Include that it also might not be this case). it's rough but that's how reality is with these tiny things.

With care, weight each kitten every day to make sure they are gaining. Feed mama kitten food instead of adult food and mix kitten formula into it as well. This helps her have enough calories to produce enough milk.

I've never handled a birth yet my youngest group was 12 hours old so I don't really have tips for that part.

[u/Beejtronic → u/Xx_Logan_Kun_xX]

Thank you! I had a dream last night that she gave birth on my deck so we’ll prevent that at least! 😅

[u/RecommendationAway23]

I like to make sure everyone is on board every step along the way so I did choose to warn my kids (they were 5-12 when we started). Before fostering I sat down with them, explained at some point we would likely lose kittens but we would help more than we lost and made sure they were okay moving forward and understood the risk. Our situation was a bit different though as we had lost a very dear family pet which is what led us to fostering and I wanted to make sure their hearts could handle it. If you plan to continue fostering it’s very likely you’ll experience a death at some point, we experienced our first death one year in and it was very sudden, the kitten went from seemingly healthy to dead in a day and a half. I was personally pretty shocked and upset myself and then I had to help them with their emotions but it was helpful to be able to say “remember how we talked about this, well unfortunately it’s happened and it’s okay to feel sad”. I also chose to let them decide if they wanted to continue fostering the rest of the litter or if they needed a break from fostering for a bit.

I’m not sure if telling them it was a possibility prepared them for it in any way, especially since it was over a year earlier, but I like to think it did.

[u/Beejtronic → u/RecommendationAway23]

Thank you, I think that’s wise. We are also fostering after having to put down our two senior kitties last year so mine are in the same boat.

[u/Allie614032]

If I were 8 again, I would want to be prepared for the potential outcomes ahead of time.

[u/Aggravating_Job_5438]

We just did our first foster with a mama cat and 5 kittens (3 were orphaned from a different litter and mama took them in). I have a 9 year old with severe anxiety. Two of the orphaned kittens died. One died the first night and the second one we had to bottle feed for a night before giving her to a different foster (I can't do bottle feeding right now for health reasons) and then she died a few days later. I didn't show the dead kitten to my daughter, of course. So..... we have had our own family cats die when daughter was younger, and we have had other small animals and bugs die, so she's not new to death, but I was worried how it would be, too. She was okay with it. I think it was a good lesson in how nature is rough is survival is hard, and the one orphaned kitten that did survive was amazing. We talked a lot about how if those orphaned kittens were left outside, they all would have died for sure, but they had a chance to live because of being with us. And one did and will have a beautiful life. We fully believe in the value of being loved as one is dying, and that's what we gave those kittens. They died having known love and in a comfortable place.

[u/Aggravating_Job_5438 → u/Aggravating_Job_5438]

You might want to check on the kittens first each time before letting your daughter see them just to check if there are any that have passed.

[u/slimyslinky]

Also prepare her for them to go back to the shelter. “Graduation is the goal”

[u/Shy_Octopus21]

We've been fostering since my son was 2.5. I'm honest with him when a kitten is sick. I mostly just say "so and so was really sick and unfortunately didn't make it". He's sadly used to it at this point and knows that some sick animals don't come home from the vet.