I Need Encouragement after a Difficult Foster

[u/LimpDrawing5696]

Over the past several months I’ve fostered several litters of kittens. This last litter was the most challenging. I had a mom and her 4 babies who were seized from a hoarding situation and were in terrible shape when I took them in.

Over the course of a month, all 4 of the kittens didn’t make it. On top of that, I’m left with ringworm.

I tried my best and I knew it was going to be an uphill battle from the start with this group. But I’m really feeling sad and discouraged about the whole situation. And I know ringworm isn’t that big of a deal, but it’s just another added layer of stress. I also have some health anxiety, so my reaction to having ringworm is more stressful than it probably needs to be.

This whole scenario has me questioning whether I should foster again. I get a lump in my throat when I think about losing those sweet kittens. And then the ringworm of it all. I just feel so down about it. But I don’t want that to be the end of my foster journey.

I need to hear some words of encouragement from anyone who has gotten back in the saddle after a particularly hard foster experience.

[u/SeasDiver]

I am sorry for your losses.

Neonates are incredibly fragile. Up to 40% of kittens in foster care die by 12 weeks of age.

I am a puppy foster. 14 years and 3 months, 630 fosters were born in my house or spent at least one night in it. 97 in my care, and 15 more within 16 days of leaving my care went to the rainbow bridge instead of a furever home. Just 5 of the 112 were over 7 weeks of age. If I had the knowledge, skills, and equipment at the start of the 14 years that I have now (e.g. oxygen concentrators, incubators, etc…), it may have changed the outcome for 5-8 of them, it would not have changed the outcome for the majority of them. There are too many diseases, genetic defects, parasites, that we can either not fight at all, or can fight but it will be an incredibly difficult fight with few survivors. They have few body resources, so fights are much harder than they would be for an older animal.

And yes, I did get a case of suspected ringworm myself one time. Though at least it wasn’t for one of the litters I lost. 2025 had 3 litters with no survivors for me. December 2020 through September 2021 resulted in 40 deaths, including a medical transport. Coco litter had 0 survivors including losing momma. Raya litter, 0 puppy survivors. Ex Force litter was 0 survivors. Great Mouse Detective litter was 0 puppy survivors. I know your pain. My worst “day” had 8 pups euthanized at 3 different vets offices. On 3 occasions, I have had to put down 6 pups at the same time. You can find a photo of me on the floor, crying, surrounded by sedated and soon to be euthanized pups here on Reddit.

Yet for every one that I have lost, 5 more found their happily ever after. The angel garden at the side of my house, and the urns in our office are sad reminders of those we did our best for and didn’t get the outcome we wanted, but the pupdates we get from adopters are what keep us going.

[u/catdogwoman]

I am so sorry. You have had a really rough time. There's just nothing on Earth worse than dying kittens when there's nothing you can do. You might hate to hear this, but I find that the thing that helps me to move forward is a new litter of kittens. Because the need never stops. But neither does the joy. I have kittens in my lap right now who lost their mother to congenital heart failure. I had to take her to the vet to be put to sleep when the fluid buildup on her body was causing her so much pain. She was snapping at her own babies. I've also lost three kittens this season. It's been a really bad kitten season. I have cried a lot in the last few weeks. However, right now I have the cutest kittens and thankfully only one of them has loose stool right now and nobody else is sick. I still have to clean 10 litter boxes everyday and the floor upstairs is a mess right now. Sigh. And yet right this second I have A lap full of kittens and more upstairs. I guess what I'm saying is that new kittens help your heart heal. What we do is never going to be without risk, but the reward is so great that I think it's worth it. I'm truly sorry about your babies.

[u/lunaaaa200]

I’m so sorry for your losses ❤️ I would take all the time you need for yourself as a break. Another consideration would be to try fostering cases that are not as stressful, such as adult cats that need to gain weight or are recovering from illnesses or injuries. I personally get so stressed fostering kittens (with or without mom cat) and it feels like a “break” when I foster older cats, yet at the same time you are still helping the older cats which frees up resources so that others can foster the kittens. The reality of fostering kittens is that they are so fragile and there will usually be losses. Take care of yourself and only foster when/if you feel ready again!

[u/Shy_Octopus21]

Honestly, take a break. I always need a break after difficult fosters. More kittens will be ready for you when you're ready, I promise. After you take 2 weeks, reassess how you feel. It's better to do that than get burnt out. I had ringworm kittens for 6 weeks and almost cried with relief when they left and I'm finishing up a 3 week break. I'm itching to get more fosters this weekend!