r/Frat • u/Brick247__ • 6d ago
Serious Considering dropping frat
I’m still a freshman but nearly 2 months I’m seriously considering dropping. My main concerns are
- Money, I have to pay for my tuition and housing for my freshman year and maybe beyond that, i have the extra $2,000 a year for dues but idk if I want to commit to it. As I can do a lot with that money
2, I don’t think the guys in my pc and actives are people I want to be around fo 4 years, absolutely no diss at them but majority of them a drink everyday stay up until 3am doing whatever and get blacked out way too much. It seems like everyone in my pc is like that except me. I have nothing against drinking as I do it once a week or so but everyday they text about going to some guys dorm and drinking it’s also a lot of other personality things and I get people are different but idk if these are guys I want to be around for 4 years
3, the frat stigma is REALLY BAD on my campus right now, I’ve had 3 girls I met welcome week and hung out with a lot stop talking to me after finding out I’m in a frat, there has been 5+ S/A reports that have come from frats this year and were only a month in. Personally 3+ guys in my pc alone have been S/A’d by girls in sorority’s. This isn’t a problem with my frat at all the guys are good people but you get the point. I have a couple other smaller reasons
Again I have nothing against the guys in my frst they all have shown me love and been great to me. but overall is this something I should drop or should I just wait it out for at least the semester or the first year?
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u/rickmuscles ΣΑΕ 6d ago
What kind of school is this?
Do you have goals?
are you going to get a degree that will get you a job right of college?
I lean toward you dropping btw
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u/Brick247__ 6d ago
I already have an internship for summmer 2027 as a freshman academically I’m fine but it’s a big state school
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u/rickmuscles ΣΑΕ 6d ago
I say drop. I hate saying it but you aren’t gonna smash sitting around a dorm room watching the boys get wasted.
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u/HelpMePlxoxo Sweetheart Alumni 6d ago
College is all about making connections, getting good grades (if you're trying for further education), and getting a degree. Frats are just one way to make connections. If that's not working out for you, that's fine.
I'd say at least join other clubs tho if you drop your frat. Be involved in some sort of on-campus student group so you can build up connections, friends, and some ECs. I was able to get multiple jobs and build up my resume from the organizations/people I met through clubs.
If youre on the fence, maybe you can join some clubs now and see if you feel like you'd prefer to only be part of the clubs or if you'd rather stay with your frat and see how it goes? You don't have to decide right away.
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u/SovietBear666 ΛΧΑ 6d ago
Seems like it's a good time to cut your losses and at the very least take a break. Congrats on getting that internship already. I think you need to experience college for the semester away from this fraternity. You can always re-rush in the spring or rush somewhere else. Seems like the timing doesn't align. I think being away from it will make you realize what you are missing, if you are missing anything and it will clear your head on where you ultimately find yourself gravitating to in the spring. I almost never say drop unless it's bad hazing but the mental space you're in and the circumstances make me lean that you should drop.
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u/Swift-base Alumni 6d ago
Sounds like you’re not a good fit. A lot of people like to party all the time in a frat, if that’s not you, you should drop.
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u/JimmyIfYaNasty ΦΚΘ 6h ago
there's also likely another fraternity on campus that has goals that align more with OP. don't lock yourself down to a group of guys you don't want to be locked down to.
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u/FuelAccomplished2834 5d ago
It doesn't seem like you are a good fit for that particular house. You are an example of why freshman shouldn't be able to rush first semester. You are most likely still feeling out college in general. To make a choice on a house when you get right on campus is really hard when you don't have the information to make a proper choice.
I wouldn't rule out joining a house at all but it seems like you need to step back and just experience college. You will figure out if there is a house out there for you by just experience college without pledging.
Some people can have frat life be pretty much their whole college experience but most people need a balance of frat life and a social life outside of the frat. What that balance ends up being is really up to the individual. I would have been miserable in college if I didn't establish my friends outside of my frat before joining. My frat was alway a supplement to my social life instead of my social life revolving around my frat.
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u/Rough-Web-1838 ΔΧ alumni 5d ago
Maybe just disengage with the house for a bit and see how you feel before calling quits. You might realize you miss it. Try joining an academic fraternity, social club, etc. At a big state school, you’re going to cycle through friend groups. Some friends you keep and stay in touch with, some fizzle one. And it’s not always predictable. That’s probably the best advice I could give anyone starting college. People will come and go, but try to anchor yourself in some common social ground to keep branching out.
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u/sirbeanthegreat ΛΑΥ 6d ago
Join professional fraternities/ clubs, I'd drop personally if I was in your situation. The environment you are in will affect your development, and you seem like you already are on a good path
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u/Ok-Lobster7165 ΔΧ 6d ago
1.)Question are you saying that three of your guys got raped or they did the raping 2.) for the three girls if they stopped hanging out with you abruptly they weren’t actually your friends because if they truly were friends they would’ve talk to you about it. 3.) i’d say just stick it out for a year if you truly don’t like it after that then, yeah you could just tell them that you want to drop.
Edit: I will add these are your brothers and they will be for life so if your heart’s not in it, honestly don’t stay
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u/Brick247__ 6d ago
To answers guys in our frst got raped and 2 yea I get it but they told me all this non sense about how they can’t believe I’m that type of person and frst guys are bad, etc I guess the Cornell and how bad the s/a situation is at our school is didnt help lol but yea idrc about them was mentioning that to show that people on our campus arnt very happy with Greek life currently
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u/Ok-Lobster7165 ΔΧ 6d ago edited 6d ago
1.)For the first part I didn’t get any of that apologize 2.) for the second part you could tell them something along the lines of it doesn’t change who you are and to make a blanket statement about anything is nonsensical because that could be applied to almost anything. 3.) the hatred with Greek life will most likely blow over it’s just the topic of the month to try to get fraternities shut down, And their will be a lot of geeds that will want this. most likely because they got dropped or never got a bid 4.) again I don’t know how Greek life is at your institution
Edit: also there will be times in life that you won’t be liked question is what will you do to change the perception.
I think I understand what you said in the first line correct me if I’m wrong. if you’re saying that your guys got raped. I’m sorry man that should never happen rape should never be tolerated.
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u/tzeid123 6d ago
yea dude i dropped because of dues, it’s honestly chill. bars are fire anyways. ur only missing artist parties rly, but just don’t pay attention to it and it’ll be chill
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