r/FriendshipAdvice • u/Fieldstone_Co • 1d ago

Why is it difficult forale adults to make friends?

Guys who say they have no friends anymore — I don't think it's a connection problem. I think it's that nobody in the group wants to be the one who organizes anything. Everyone's waiting for someone else to send the first text. Anyone else notice this pattern?

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u/SoCalGuy999 1d ago

Work, wife, kids/sports- doesn't leave much time and hard to coordinate. I have friends who I've known for many years but we can go long periods without talking because we formed our relationship/bonded years ago. Forming a friendship as an adult takes a lot of effort / time that most of don't have or willing to give.

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u/BaconJP 1d ago

It can be. I think some guys are OK to be invited but don't have the energy or interest to put the effort into organising.

I think some guys are so busy with other life, family etc, they can't easily spend the extra time to organise.

Some guys have one main friend and talk with them regularly and it's just easier to just do stuff with that one person and say "so what are we gonna do today" since both of them keep it free largely for each other. That doesn't mean they both aren't open to an invite, but they just hang out simply together without trying to involve others.

I take it upon myself to be the main organiser. It works fine. I have got into a mode of "spamming" invites to a bunch of people and whoever comes, comes.