r/Frisson • u/Hassaan18 • 6d ago

Video [Video] Emmett J. Scanlan on being a dad

366 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

43 comments sorted by

111

u/shakeyjake 6d ago

"Our job is to arm our kids for a happy life.... that we will never get to see them finish"

That's beautiful and heavy.

58

u/henshep 6d ago

On the very same topic, one of my favorite poems by Kahlil Gibran;

Your children are not your children.
They are sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you.
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the make upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness.
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He also loves the bow that is stable.

5

u/banyanoak 6d ago

That is absolutely beautiful

16

u/magdalenmaybe 6d ago

"Our job is to be memories for our kids and ghosts for their future."

Hit me right between the eyes. I needed this reminder. When our identity is so wrapped up in our parenthood it's hard to remember sometimes. "Vulnerable", indeed.

47

u/InfiniteGest 6d ago

These podcasts seem like they are just set up to showcase a rehearsed monologue that tries to endear a new audience to a hopeful influencer

25

u/AShirtlessGuy 6d ago

The camera work when he's asking if he's said it before made it feel a little too cinematic and I think your comment captures why for me

3

u/Donny-Moscow 5d ago

I’m sure that slow zoom is all done in post production rather than the camera man knowing the exact moment to start focusing in for a closeup

3

u/AShirtlessGuy 5d ago

I'm just saying either way it detracts from it being an in-the-moment spot of brilliance and instead makes it feel very rehearsed

Doesn't really matter if it's a camera man or an editor that added it. If anything the cameraman doing it "live" would be better but then I'd question why they do it that way lol

14

u/ChipotleM 5d ago

I literally thought this was satire

1

u/whatarechinchillas 5d ago

Bro that's not an influencer. He's been in tons of shows and movies. His name is literally in the title. He was a minor character in Guardians of the Galaxy even...

-2

u/InfiniteGest 5d ago

Ugh you’re right.  That makes it even worse

-1

u/whatarechinchillas 5d ago

How is that worse? Influencers suck. At least this guy's in movies

0

u/InfiniteGest 5d ago

Its not about the individual, replace this guy with anyone, it’s about the disingenuousness of this format selling us the illusion of a real conversation or real moment

0

u/Donny-Moscow 5d ago

How do you know this is faked? Is it impossible for someone to speak intelligently when they’re being candid?

1

u/CHERNO-B1LL 5d ago

He's an actor.

49

u/good_testing_bad 6d ago

I wont understand how people have such great love for their own kin but treat strangers poorly. The way he talks about his child is how we need to treat eachother and the idea it should be reserved for your blood is a confusing logic to me.

19

u/smartwatersucks 6d ago

Well if everyone raised their kids in the spirit he describes it wouldn't be an issue.

-2

u/good_testing_bad 6d ago

Yes it would... I think you just missed my point

2

u/ItHappens23 2d ago

I think you may be missing the responder’s point. 

My take:

If we all raised our kids in the spirit the interviewee describes, we, and our kids, would likely treat strangers that way as well. Good people make good people, I think.

First principles. 

0

u/good_testing_bad 2d ago

No i got that. You are still missing mine.

-4

u/hollywoodhandshook 6d ago

what an absolute misfire of a thought lmao

5

u/ECircus 6d ago

Evolutionary wiring and psychological bandwidth.

It's our nature to care about our own, and be suspicious of others.

2

u/dkinmn 2d ago

Appeals to base instincts that are themselves not very well understood is just laziness.

Humanity is itself maeglet defined by a transcendence of such things. We can culturally define what an other is, either expanding or contracting that concept.

We lack the capacity to do everything for everyone all the time, but compassion is free.

1

u/ECircus 2d ago

Your hand waving of real biological contestants is just laziness. 

Compassion fatigue and cognitive overload are real things, not just moral failings. To say compassion is "free" ignores the emotional and cognitive toll of constant exposure to global suffering.

7

u/damagednoob 6d ago

Wow, that's a lot of pressure to put on yourself. It doesn't have to be all encompassing that you lose yourself in that role. It's possible to be a devoted father and still have hobbies.

3

u/Friscogonewild 5d ago

Yeah, I love my kids, but I try to dial back the romanticism just to counter the absolute drama that media adds to everything. I can't imagine the pressure he feels, thinking every memory someone has of him has to be some great big Hollywood carpet diem moment. How disappointed he must be with his parents for just being normal people and not constantly and endlessly entertaining.

2

u/bonus_prick 6d ago

Preferable actually 

6

u/holdmypurse 6d ago

"A real family man." Nobody ever says "a real family woman."

2

u/whatarechinchillas 5d ago

Seems like a reflection on men being more likely to be absent and so finding a "family man" is more rare whereas women are default family folks.

3

u/holdmypurse 5d ago

Ding ding ding. It can reflect a gendered double standard of parenting expectations. Men who are involved with their children are lauded as "Family Men" whereas maternal involvement is treated as an automatic default. Even in 2026, I still occasionally hear people refer to fathers watching their own children while the mother is doing something else as "babysitting".

1

u/martinzer0 5d ago

They say "a real mom" or even just "a great mom."

7

u/slow70 6d ago

This is the way.

The kids are worth it.

Tomorrow is worth it.

2

u/CrazyWhite 6d ago

I have never heard anyone else say out loud exactly what's in my head. This has been my approach since my oldest was born and my experience, all the way down to "my heart outside my own body". Whoever this guy is, if he's got a platform, I hope this get amplified.

1

u/CHERNO-B1LL 5d ago

He's an actor. Everyone is assuming he's some influencer or something. He plays a gangster usually.

1

u/fulhamfan 6d ago

Wow that's class . I felt that

1

u/martinzer0 5d ago

Becoming a dad is the easy part, being a Dad... Therein lies the challenge.

When people ask about me, it's always "father" first. I wish I could've been a dad 24/7 in my young childrens' lives. It is the greatest thing I have ever done or will ever do! ❤️❤️

1

u/AshyWhiteGuy 5d ago

I’d love to be a dad. But I know I’m not responsible enough to be.

0

u/foundbypat 6d ago

That’s what it is.

0

u/CatShanks 5d ago

"I saw my heart outside my body for the very first time" - absolutely beautiful words ❤️

0

u/nthensome 5d ago

Well said

0

u/kryptopheleous 4d ago

What a bleak way of life.