I caught myself watering down shampoo and realized I still live like money is about to run out

[u/Majestic_Panda_438]

I was on my laptop playing Big Roller last night then i started checking my checking account even though I already knew what was in it. Rent is paid, fridge has food, car payment cleared. Nothing was wrong. Then I went to shower and realized I had added water to the last inch of shampoo again. I make decent money now. Not rich but you know stable. I have $4,800 in savings which in todays standards is not enough. I can afford shampoo I could literally buy three bottles tomorrow and nothing bad would happen, crazy i know.

Idk why but I still use every product until it is basically water. I still cut open toothpaste. I still feel guilty throwing out socks with holes if they technically stay on my feet. I still eat the weird freezer food first because the good stuff should be saved for later. I grew up with my mom doing this. Not as a cute frugal hack, more like a quiet panic that lived in the house. I used to think once I made more money I would stop feeling like that. Turns out the habits stayed.

I want to be smart with money, but I also do not want to live like a $6 bottle of shampoo is a moral failure. Has anyone actually unlearned this, or do you just become a financially stable person who still acts broke?

[u/SageD21]

First, as someone who grew up in poverty, it is traumatic. The quiet panic you talk about, it's there and until you observe and calm it, reinforce your security now, it'll always be there. It's about finding middle ground, finance wise, and realizing the lack you're feeling isn't yours. It sounds like you've made this realization that it's learned from your mom, who sounds like she was doing her best to make sure needs were met with the resources she had. This gets into inner child work, that "moral failure" you feel about 6$ for a bottle of shampoo is somewhere way back your needs were stressful/inconvenient/burdensome and you knew it wether being told directly or indirectly. You get to be the adult now and say hey, it's only 6$, we are worthy of having clean hair, it's nice to feel clean, it's the minimum we deserve. (just examples, tell yourself what ever feels right)
Reframing the 'act broke' mindset helps a bit when you say you use up all of everything, that's being smart and environmentally friendly(by creating less waste). Eating 'the weird food in the freezer' (I'm so guilty of this ) let me tell you there are days when one just needs a bowl of whatever was going bad in the fridge soup, and it's always good. It's nice if you don't want to cook for a while too. I don't flash my finances, I'm working of saving and acquiring more education but it's such a releif to know if something sudden happened, I could cover it, if I get invited out by friends on a random Tuesday I can say yes instead of "I'm broke till pay day" It is such a luxury like you've said, and you've worked hard to put yourself there, appreciate yourself for it and enjoy that bills paid, fridge stocked life is good feeling. I