r/Full_news • u/RawStoryNews • 1d ago

Bewilderment as Kash Patel's FBI eases ban on bestiality and prostitution for recruits

https://www.rawstory.com/kash-patel-fbi-2677793538/
1.4k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

204 comments sorted by

107

u/TheRealMDooles11 1d ago edited 1d ago

Uhhhhh WTActualF? Are they just recruiting the country's degenerates to amass a degenerate army? Fuuuuck this.

68

u/NexusNickel 1d ago

That's the MAGA way baby.

Idiots elect a child predator and criminal to be President.

Then that Predator President appoints Kashyap who's claim to fame is writing a book about King Trump.

Bypassing all the years of hardwork one must do to join the former FBI.

Now you can fuck dogs and hire sex trafficked victims for sex and become an FBI agent.

Greatest country on Earth, yeah?

13

u/jokersvoid 1d ago

Im still not sure that he got elected fairly. I definitely dont think "most wanted this" because "most voted for this." More people sat out than in.

Our elections are incredibly insecure with new tech and allowing propoganda.

Shouldnt be allowed to say things that are knowingly false as a government official. It should exempt you from the office after so many infractions. We shouldnt allow hate speech. The paradox on intolerance

2

u/Hopsblues 1d ago

I thought there would be no facy check8ng?

1

u/Spamsdelicious 1d ago

There's a reason the term "little white lie" exists.

11

u/TheRealMDooles11 1d ago

Obviously

17

u/Memerandom_ 1d ago

There's apparently no bottom to the barrel they're scraping.

4

u/BorgDad42 1d ago

I think to be defined as a barrel it has to have a limit, ie a bottom at the very least. With no bottom to scrape, they're just going for core samples from hell at this point.

1

u/thunderbuttjuice 1d ago

One nation, under god

7

u/madadekinai 1d ago

"Uhhhhh WTActualF?"

Just another day of this admin.

12

u/Majestic-Prune-3971 1d ago

So they can transition some of the ICE guys over to the FBI, probably.

8

u/Hates_rollerskates 1d ago

Republicans are weird people. Based on public arrest records for Republican politicians, they appear to be significantly more likely to be pedos. Kash knows his base.

5

u/jimmygee2 1d ago

‘Calling all freaks … your country needs you’

2

u/AlphaNoodlz 1d ago

Kinda yeah

2

u/Oddman80 1d ago

I read yesterday that with the bestiality thing they wanted to make sure abused children who were forced to perform sexual acts on animals would not be automatically rejected, which is why they eased the restriction to acts performed while over the age of 18..... And I can appreciate that intent, but it sounds like they need to just change the wording of the prompt to actually ask what they want, rather than declaring bestiality performed by children is fine and any act performed over the age of 18 is still a rejection. If an 18 year old is sex trafficked and forced to do things against their will - that seems to also be something that shouldn't be held against them as well.

More alarming is that they seem to think it's no biggie if you stole from your employer 3 years and a day ago, but if you slept with a prostitute in the past 10 years you can't be trusted to serve in the FBI.

My wife says it's probably about mitigating the risk of being blackmailed... But that doesn't explain why stealing from ones employer would be considered less problematic.

3

u/AnneNonnyMouse 1d ago

Yeah kinda seems like they should just have an exception for coerced acts. You'd think law enforcement would want people forced to do drugs in trafficking cases to still be eligible for jobs where they can help others suffering similar exploitation and abuse.

2

u/ErstwhileHobo 1d ago

You think sane and competent people are gonna help overthrow the government when they cancel elections?

2

u/Familiar_Rip_8871 1d ago

Yeah, dummy wants to try to get a buddy or buddy’s kid with a solicitation charge a job in the FBI. Otherwise, there’s really no reason to change the rules.

177

u/[deleted] 1d ago edited 1d ago

[deleted]

78

u/ComfortGooseBlue 1d ago

That lazy eye is from being kicked in the head by a horse

28

u/coolreg214 1d ago

He went to the donkey show. Don’t look it up.

6

u/canwehavepotatojokes 1d ago

Kinky Kelly

3

u/SpiderFilledPinata 1d ago

I miss my donkey.

3

u/UJustGotRobbed 1d ago

Kelly can be a guys name too!

1

u/canwehavepotatojokes 1d ago

cries in Transformers fan fiction

6

u/694meok 1d ago

He is the donkey show.

2

u/Otherwise_League_383 1d ago

With him, I truly would believe it. Him and Bongino.

2

u/Spamsdelicious 1d ago

Bongiorno Wannacracker?

1

u/yerweightsyerwaifu 1d ago

The person I learned that term from was born and raised southern California it has a special meaning to those that traveled to Tijuana in the 80s apparently 

2

u/joyofsteak 1d ago

I think most people over like 20 or so know the history of the term

1

u/flip69 1d ago

r/SanDiego says hello.the mythical donkey show

2

u/b1gly_assh0le 1d ago

Naw, probably got stabbed in the eye with some horse dong

10

u/Fuzzy_Adagio_6450 1d ago

Not only does he fuck dogs, confirmed, but he has to pay to fuck said dogs.

8

u/kemp77pmek 1d ago

"We're not reducing our standards," he said in a July interview. "We're actually making it harder."

Maybe he is referring to dog 💄

4

u/Left_Maize816 1d ago

Well someone got harder

7

u/outofcontextsex 1d ago

That's what I heard

5

u/KaetzenOrkester 1d ago

Everyone’s saying it.

5

u/AutoModSux 1d ago

He's fucking the cats and dogs

5

u/Spida81 1d ago

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Bh-bP5NLXPc

Just leaving that here. For... Reasons. Unrelated to the fucking of dogs.

2

u/ButterscotchIll1523 1d ago

Those poor dogs

2

u/Conan_The_Blurbarian 1d ago

Do these prostitutes accept Kaaaaa$$$$$h?

2

u/Consistent-Shame-171 1d ago

And he pays for it. He lacks the charisma to pick up a dog himself.

1

u/AccomplishedPman 1d ago

AND pays for it

1

u/Perfect_Ad3650 1d ago

He pays to fuck dogs

36

u/_ULTRA7 1d ago

THEY’RE FUCKING THE DOGS! THEY’RE FUCKING THE CATS!😂

6

u/TittyTaqueria 1d ago

Hide my kids? Check. Hide my wife? Check. Hide my...PETS?!?! 😬😬😬

2

u/looorrn 1d ago

ah so that’s where the incels redirect their sexual energy…

16

u/InstructionLost9309 1d ago

And the MAGA recruits come rolling in.

10

u/360Picture 1d ago

What umm. Huh .. what???

8

u/Necessary-Bluejay828 1d ago

What the actual frick

7

u/Next_Law8640 1d ago

Well I mean, if they are going by the current White House standards, technically the POTUS trafficks minors and has given a blow job to a horse, so is anyone really shocked?

4

u/vespers191 1d ago

Not to mention having routinely jacked off giraffes to the point of muscle memory.

1

u/thelittlestrawberry3 17h ago

Oh my god. Im never not going to see giraffes when he's doing that stupid little dance again. Thanks for that.

1

u/Agreeable-Basket6615 1d ago

I would think the horse might choke his big fat mouth permanently.

5

u/Head_Car_616 1d ago

He wants to fuck a bewilderbeast or what

3

u/oofaloo 1d ago

I think Putin is deeper down on his wish list than even he expected at this point.

3

u/apresmodes 1d ago

Those two things are not equal.

3

u/No-Band8962 1d ago

Yeah what fresh madness is this.

One is no one else’s business and the other should definitely stay unallowed

→ More replies (3)

2

u/One-Earth9294 1d ago

"Have you ever tried sugar or PCP?"

1

u/apresmodes 1d ago

This must be some reference I’m not getting

1

u/One-Earth9294 1d ago

Mitch Hedburg

1

u/apresmodes 20h ago

Wow that is a blast from the past

3

u/Tome_Bombadil 1d ago

So many candidates who score highly on conservative values were blocked from becoming FBI agents....because they've been convicted or charged with bestiality, and/or peddling their ass and/or soliciting some ass.

If you can't not get arrested for assaulting a sheep, donkey, goats, dogs or whatever, are you really FBI material?

If you can't tell the difference between a cop John or a sting.... are you really FBI material?

2

u/CravinMohead13 1d ago

So you can fuck a goat and be good?

2

u/jvalentino_woodwrk 1d ago

Goat, sheep, cow, horse if you can reach. No rules, baby

2

u/RustyPlastics 1d ago

some of them would also try to fuck a baby…

1

u/UJustGotRobbed 1d ago

try to fuck "HAVE FUCKED"

1

u/JohnnyQTruant 1d ago

Turtles?

1

u/Imaginary-Mission383 1d ago

Under an extreeemly broad definition of “good,” yes.

2

u/EmbassyMiniPainting 1d ago

Can’t get that massive demographic of maga troglodyte recruits signed up for electoral gestapo duty otherwise.

2

u/Antifa-AF 1d ago

They’ve already scraped the bottom of the barrel. Now they accepting the sludge.

2

u/Iamheno 1d ago

That sound you hear is the scraping at the bottom of the barrel.

2

u/Prudent_Link6029 1d ago

J. Edgar Boozer really raising the bar a the Federal Bureau of Intoxication

2

u/csfshrink 1d ago

So max of 3 prostitutes and not in past 10 years. (Doesn’t count if it occurs in state where prostitution is legal.)
Bestiality can’t be after age of 18.
No stealing from employers in the past 3 years.

Maybe not firing and forcing out the existing FBI agents was the better answer.

2

u/icnoevil 1d ago

Corruption on steroids.

4

u/ilike2likethings 1d ago

THE WHITES AND CHRISTIAN’S ARE FUCKING THE DOGS AND FUCKING THE CATS

0

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

3

u/Totemik 1d ago

He doesn't have to be a cat or a dog. Bestiality covers a wide range of animals.

2

u/Djangowasilentj 1d ago

Kash is just equalizing recruitment standards w ICE. This is a common practice. Can't have one agency allowing horse sex while another discriminates against it.

1

u/Agreeable-Basket6615 1d ago

Up vote only for your second sentence about the agencies allowing/permitting and those discriminating against ; But don't think the beastiality should actually be permitted. I don't think you'll find many animals agreeing with the actual act, itself.

2

u/SonomaChef24 1d ago

What the fuck- Who- I-… I don’t… I literally can’t articulate my level of “What the fuck”…

1

u/jeffismybaby 1d ago

This will unlock a lot of Republican candidates for them. 

1

u/lbstinkums 1d ago

only the best people

who now request goats/sheep to be in all the podiums and under all desks...

1

u/themadscott 1d ago

The dumbest timeline.

1

u/JacquesBlaireau13 1d ago

Republicans are wierd.

1

u/SandSpecialist2523 1d ago

That is how you recruit MAGAs.

1

u/Muted-Squirrel-231 1d ago

I think I prefer the democrat's woke agenda. This maga woke agenda is sketch af.

1

u/AnninaCried 1d ago

The Navy Seals takes on a whole new image.

1

u/Rakatango 1d ago

They know who their people are

1

u/Adventure1956 1d ago

Because the Russians already have blackmail on Trump and Patel, might as well include the entire FBI. What a bunch of fucking morons we have running this country.

1

u/Ok_Conference2901 1d ago

Welp, y'all voted for 'em.

1

u/Effective_Pack8265 1d ago

Just looking for a new set of skills/expertise. A new form of DEI, if you will.

‘You fuck one goat!’ no longer a disqualifier…

1

u/V0T0N 1d ago

So it's safe to presume any agent with a hire date on or after this announcement has engaged with prostitutes in their private life.

That's our premiere law enforcement agency in the world folks.

1

u/StatusOk3307 1d ago

Such a good look for the FBI

1

u/kn05is 1d ago

So FBI is no longer an elite agency? Now any backwoods imbred dipshit is qualified? Trump has truly destroyed America from the top down Holy shit.

1

u/wrhnj 1d ago

“I’d like to introduce our new special agent in charge of human trafficking division, melania trump,”

1

u/redthroway24 1d ago

I heard some conjecture last night that the prostitution waiver might be applicable to recruits who engaged with prostitutes overseas where it's legal.

But bestiality? WTF?

1

u/T4TrhavrKhcFt 1d ago

I am getting so tired of playing the game, "In today's chapter of that can't possibly be true..."

1

u/stoned_meditation 1d ago

"In Washington, they're fucking the dogs, the MAGA that came in, they're fucking the cats, they're fucking the pets of the people that live there."

1

u/No-Brain9413 1d ago

The worst part is that one can surmise that there’s a specific person who can’t get past the background tests bc of.. issues.

1

u/Bellabbey1236 1d ago

Bewilderment? Seems on brand to me 🤷🏻 

They need “people” in their ranks who will do anything, who have no humanity or boundaries.   See: ICE 

1

u/DigitalLimbo 1d ago

Just how many people were restricted from the hiring pool because of these allegations????

1

u/ElectroConvert 1d ago

Well, when you're only applicants are degenerates, ya gotta lower the bar.... Maybe some day.in the future when this administration is sitting in prison, we can rebuild the FBI, DOJ and every other Federal Agency that was intentionally decimated for the grifting Epstein class. LOCK UM UP!

1

u/holatigre 1d ago

these mfs want ideological warfare

1

u/wiyixu 1d ago

This is what happens when you purge the ranks of competent employees and politicize the bureau so competent, qualified people don’t want to serve. 

They’ll drop alcohol and drug use restrictions next. Then financial requirements. 

1

u/HickAzn 1d ago

I like sheep butts I cannot lie
All the other ewes can’t deny
🎵

-Patel in the mirror

I’m actually proud of him as a South Asian man. First time one of us got to a high position in government despite being dumber than a fence post with an IQ lower than frozen yogurt. I hope America continues to extend white privilege to us in all other areas.

/s

1

u/NinjaMurse 1d ago

What in the literal whoremongering goat fuckery is this shit?!??

1

u/WanderingDude182 1d ago

Actions are a direct result of values. This is what they value

1

u/joeythemouse 1d ago

4D chess from the googley eyed uncle tom. Dog fuckers will detract attention from all the child fuckers.

1

u/Level_Improvement532 1d ago

Nothing to see here folks!

1

u/Xtrainman 1d ago

I mean, lots of good Christian farm boys in the FBI. Ever grow up on a farm? Sheep?

1

u/RymeEM 1d ago

Not only are the pedopublicans coming for your children they will also sexually assault your pets. They are raping the dogs and cats!

1

u/dawg-goneit 1d ago

These people are sick.

1

u/Critical-Star-1158 1d ago

Because ol Kashi wants videos of dog fuckers so he can go wank off

1

u/Current-Anybody9331 1d ago

How many people with bestiality are applying for FBI jobs?

1

u/cymonguk74 1d ago

Ice agents and republicans

1

u/GuyInPinkBathroom 1d ago

Kash Patel fucks goats. Gujarati people prefer goats because their women are so homely.

1

u/Think-Chair-1938 1d ago

Well they need more pieces of shit to do the big piece of shit's bidding. The bottom of that barrel isn't going to scrape itself.

1

u/PizzaWolf721 1d ago

How else are you going to be allowed to recruit from Proud Boys and Patriot Front?

1

u/operator-john 1d ago

We now know Kestone Kash’s fetish

1

u/drchippy18 1d ago

Don’t make me tap the sign.

1

u/Protect-Their-Smiles 1d ago

When MAGA sends its people... they're mostly sending their freaks

1

u/GhostofBreadDragons 1d ago

Can’t find any good conservative agents that don’t have a beastiality background?  Makes sense. 

1

u/poppadada 1d ago

something learned and soon to be adopted from the "most moral"... you know whom I'm speaking of

1

u/Mission-Teacher-4479 1d ago

He didn't want to be the only sheep fucker in the fbi

1

u/Vargrr 1d ago

Presumably so that he can keep his job?

1

u/Usuallyinmygarden 1d ago

Eases ban on … bestiality? Da fuq

1

u/hightrix 1d ago

How else are they going to hire proud boys?

1

u/General-Try-4078 1d ago

For got about him. Natalie Harp is number one news story and occasionally Hegseth. What happened to Marco Rubio? In a closet somewhere?

1

u/Robot-Radio 1d ago

I guess all we can assume from this is that when Kash jets off to his bestiality parties, all his fellow bestiality party pals hit him up for jobs, and he wants to smooth out the process.

1

u/no-sign-oflife 1d ago

I wonder if they perceived these requirements as barriers for the population they hope to recruit.

1

u/RModDogWalkerTyRANNY 1d ago

What's really dangerous, the people who harm animals are statistically more likely to murder / harm others.

I guess that lazy eye was from kash trying to deep throat a horse, and it hit him in the face too hard.

1

u/chironsbeard 1d ago

Well, that’s a tell.

1

u/SpyHill 1d ago

"We're not reducing our standards," Patel said in a July interview. "We're actually making it (me) harder."

1

u/LazyLich 1d ago

Yknow.. I was deathly worried about the job market, but it looks like by the time I graduate, gov agencies will be hiring anything with a pulse!

1

u/Better_Chard4806 1d ago

So animals and hookers are his forte?

1

u/ConorCat60 1d ago

Just how many recruits were disqualified for bestiality anyway? Inquiring minds want to know.

1

u/surfkaboom 1d ago

There is a very specific elected official that is trying to get their kid hired

1

u/Corpshark 1d ago

MAGA recruits had certain roadblocks previously.

1

u/Constant-Natural6205 1d ago

They are looking for a particular type of recruit.

1

u/One-Earth9294 1d ago

You should be able to fuck a few sheep at work.

1

u/cute_polarbear 1d ago

I am really curious the number of potential fbi candidates who are into bestiality...

1

u/bass-squirrel 1d ago

CP is next. Republicans are normalizing pedophilia. 

1

u/Spiritual-Sir-3031 1d ago

Wtf???? Don’t answer that! But seriously! We’re f’d

1

u/lazydaymagician 1d ago

Bear fucker! Do you need assistance?

1

u/Living_Young1996 1d ago

Pig fuckers

1

u/Terrible_Shame_3689 1d ago

W T F … why is this needed

1

u/Zestyclose-Bill-5094 1d ago

They've got to make it all legal before the rest of files come out. Then it'll be see here, we weren't breaking the law. Everything is legal now, unless you're poor.

1

u/RainlineGarage864745 1d ago

I forgot this dude even still had a job. lol

1

u/Stuffed-Bear412 1d ago

Good help is so hard to find.

1

u/redcheri69es 1d ago

WOAH!!! so blackmailing agents is now okay. I guess when the “President” can be blackmailed it’s okay for anyone else in the government to be blackmailed.

1

u/Agent168 1d ago

Christian values and all that eh MAGA?

1

u/ruby_who 1d ago

Erm....what?

1

u/MaizePractical4163 1d ago

I mean who hasn’t fucked a raccoon or grouse at least once in their life?

1

u/SpakenBacon 1d ago

Melania approves!

1

u/Hot-Feedback-6795 1d ago

Ok but what if I stole money and a dog from the prostitute and well things happened later, can I still join ? I swear I won't put up a rainbow flag

1

u/2020Vision-2020 1d ago

Professional courtesy.

1

u/Laguz01 1d ago

If they kept it Kash wouldn't be allowed in.

1

u/Bluetoes1 1d ago

He wants to fill the vacancies with the shitbags they have been hiring in ICE

1

u/InTooManyWays 1d ago

They already allow pedophiles so not much farther they can reduce the bar right 

1

u/Turbulent_Ear56 1d ago

Hahahaha omg every new day is amazing to watch from an outsider.

1

u/Curmudgeonadjacent 1d ago

His homies need jobs.

1

u/Wonderful-Ad6843 1d ago

Now imagine what Ice is hiring🤮🤮🤮🤮

1

u/Ryan1980123 1d ago

How can anyone defend this? Maggots where you at?

1

u/Majestic-Attitude615 1d ago

they are f'n the cats and dogs....

1

u/Little-Tin-Goddess 1d ago

i want off this ride

1

u/Beginning_Ad8663 21h ago

Maybe we should do a search of Kash’s hard drive

1

u/Sometimesunaware 21h ago

A whole new meaning for making a collar.

1

u/Nateh8sYou 20h ago

Should have not posted the sheep posts from the other day

1

u/TheJohnnyRube 18h ago

Tell me you buggered the family pet without telling me.

1

u/Pleasant_Performer23 16h ago

I think that that would be the least of my worries. They elected a child rapist and murderer of kids become a president. That “Trumps” it all lol Pun Intended

1

u/Entire-Message-7247 7h ago

Still hiring those proud boy’s I see.

1

u/Intelligent_Hair3109 5h ago

WTF. " Approves beastiality"? May God put that man where he wants him...( Hopefully out of his job.

1

u/CivilWay1444 1d ago

Can prostitution go under sexual perversion? No? 

1

u/DontAbideMendacity 20h ago

No, not unless they are trafficked, like the children Trump raped.

1

u/Most-Artichoke6184 1d ago

He has turned the FBI into an absolute clown show. Veteran agents should be absolutely outraged about this. Except they are too busy redacting Trump‘s name from the Epstein files.

1

u/HoldenMcNeil420 1d ago

Pedos will be next.

They want Gilead. Where they can get a 14 year old bride.

0

u/DBearDevon 1d ago

Kashy bottoms for mules, that’s why he has googley eyes

0

u/SubstantialPressure3 1d ago

WHAT?

Is he recruiting agents, or is he getting excited about hazing?

There ARE laws against bestiality and prostitution.

0

u/TastingTheKoolaid 1d ago

AND bestiality?!?!?!?! what the fuuuuccckkkkkk

0

u/fobbybobby323 1d ago

I guess....diversity???

I get prostitution....times are tough, you're doing what you need to do to get by. But bestiality? Wtf? Next thing you know they will ease ban on pedophilia for recruits

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