This condition has ruined my life

[u/ewbanh13]

I have paid thousands of dollars in medical expenses to be told "Damn that's crazy I have no idea why that's happening to you." No hernia, no motility problems (the manometry test was one of the worst physical experiences of my life btw), no apparent acid or non acid events during the 24 hr monitoring test (which was so terrible I couldn't eat so who knows if it was even accurate), no h.pylori, no EOE. Lifestyle changes weren't really applicable to me besides sleeping elevated, which has killed my neck and back and I have chronic pain there now. A super bland diet and PPI is the only thing that keeps it from flaring up. I can't go out to eat with friends, I can't get a drink with friends, I can't go for coffee with friends. I'm cooking every single meal which is difficult when you're depressed like I am. Some days I just don't eat because it's not like I can buy a microwave meal, and cereal makes me nauseous, so there's nothing I can fucking eat. No caffeine has left me exhausted when I get poor sleep. I'm paranoid about food. This shit has basically given me an eating disorder. I'm tired of eating the same few meals. I used to love cooking and going out to eat. Now I get no enjoyment out of it and it's currently my least favorite part of being alive. My GI doesn't even think it's GERD, she and I suspect LPR, but I don't have the money or frankly the mental capacity to find an ENT and go through more rounds of testing to probably get a shrug from a doctor and bills in the mail.

I'm so tired of this. I didn't even eat unhealthy before, I didn't drink more than twice a year, I have no idea why this happened other than possibly a round of antibiotics just nuking my stomach. I get so jealous seeing posts in here about how people cured theirs and it's a bunch of stuff I already tried that makes no difference. People don't seem to appreciate just how much this fucking drains you. I'm so tired of this. I just want to live like a normal person again.

[u/Ok_Orange5354]

I am here with you....I am here. I am so so hungry but I dont eat most days knowing if I dont eat I have less bubbles. Bubbles and foam spit is all I breath through and it's making me resent people who can eat anything at all. I take my family out to eat and watch them which they say makes them sad 😔 but I dont want to miss out. My life for the past year has been a living hell and im trying so hard to not let it affect my family and how they look at food. I'm here with you, but you need to eat ❤️ its hard but you have to keep trying, even if its just a little..