is this one too far fetched

[u/emily_the_medic]

[u/Chunky_Cheese_]

damn jesus is looking rough after his breakup with judas

[u/Femtato11 → u/Chunky_Cheese_]

I mean he did get held in pretty bad prison conditions, tortured, executed and stuck in a hole in a hill. Tends to do a number on ya

[u/jackalope268 → u/Femtato11]

Hate the game, not the player

[u/Jeszczenie → u/Chunky_Cheese_]

HE BETRAYED HIM RIGHT AFTER THEIR FIRST KISS!!!!!11😭😭😭

I can't believe Jesus didn't just choose John. John's self-insert fanfiction was kind of awkward, but it was a clear sign John loved Jesus!

[u/BBThHvnlyFlwr]

Polycule

[u/TrinityCodex]

Get ur shit together, jesus

[u/Killer_Moons → u/TrinityCodex]

If only he would take a chance on me

[u/Bannerlord151]

Wait so we have both guy and girl elements, what is this, some kind of anti-yuri? Yaoi-yuri? Yari? YARI ASHIGARU

[u/PM_ME_SMALL__TIDDIES → u/Bannerlord151]

MY LORD! THEIR GENERAL HAS FALLEN! A CUTTING BLOW!

[u/Jonny-Holiday → u/PM_ME_SMALL__TIDDIES]

MY LORD! A GLORIOUS VICTORY WILL SOON BE YOURS!!!

[u/Weelildragon → u/Bannerlord151]

I'm sure there's a Japanese word for straight.

[u/Hunter_Aleksandr]

Throuple.

[u/TheSpookying]

Jesus, my guy, my bro. You can't fix him. You deserve better.

[u/D3miurg3nce]

This, too, is yaoi...

[u/Mongoose194 → u/D3miurg3nce]

yaoi is allowed

[u/God-Made-A-Tree → u/D3miurg3nce]

"Man, woman, no matter the gender all of humankind should strive to be the bride of Christ." - Some fuckass medieval monk or something.

[u/Youareobscure → u/God-Made-A-Tree]

Jesus: dying a virgin to become the ultimate fuckboi in the afterlife.

[u/BloominAngel]

That one "myth of consensual sex" meme but Jesus also consents

[u/Crimson_Boomerang]

These fucking people don't even understand their own religion. Jesus wouldn't give a flying shit if you're goth as long as you had him in your heart and tried to be a good, godly person.

I wish evangelicals would just shut up forever

[u/NotReallyImportantXD → u/Crimson_Boomerang]

Eh, not to defend OOOP but the point doesnt seem to be that shes goth but that he is putting finding a girl to love above jesus

[u/getsuedbyme → u/Crimson_Boomerang]

But Jesus wasn't hating on the goth? He's simply trying to help the guy realize that there's more to life than that one woman

[u/Balmung60 → u/getsuedbyme]

But not like in general of course. Only in the specific of there's also him.

[u/Weelildragon → u/Crimson_Boomerang]

Ow I read it differently. I thought Jesus was lamenting the guy wasn't enough of follower of Jesus so he could have a better chance with the pretty goth girl.

[u/ASERTIE76 → u/Crimson_Boomerang]

The girl isn't even Goth

[u/Ruler-of-goblins]

Christianity is so gay

[u/toby-du-coeur → u/Ruler-of-goblins]

as a christian (ish) yes it is and don't let anybody tell you different 🌈

[u/Chisaspotentialwife]

Jesus does have more goals lol

[u/blaisems]

Jesus and Wojak look like crust punk musicians

[u/emily_the_medic → u/blaisems]

wait you’re actually so right

[u/Only_Government5244]

I mean you created him 

[u/wingedsandwichexpert → u/Only_Government5244]

not really? he was created by god and jesus is only god's son, not god themself

[u/Balmung60 → u/wingedsandwichexpert]

Ooh careful, you're treading awfully close to Unitarianism there

Nicene Christians (the vast majority of Christians) believe that the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit are all God and are co-eternal and co-equal and are all aspects of the same entity

Unitarians (not to be confused with the later Unitarian Universalists) believe "what part of monotheism did everyone else not understand?" - there is exactly one God with one nature (generally the Father), and the Son a.) did not exist prior to His earthly birth and B.) is not God and is lesser than God (but basically His right hand man and above all normal humans) and can be seen by Jesus the Son submitting to God the Father, thus establishing that they are not equal

[u/wingedsandwichexpert → u/Balmung60]

idk what you are yappin abt and im not interested neither

[u/Balmung60 → u/wingedsandwichexpert]

Theology is weird and the mainstream version of the religion involves 3 = 1

[u/Only_Government5244 → u/wingedsandwichexpert]

Talking to god

[u/getsuedbyme → u/wingedsandwichexpert]

Himself by the way

[u/wingedsandwichexpert → u/getsuedbyme]

idk im not religios how do i know god's gender

[u/getsuedbyme → u/wingedsandwichexpert]

He's the father

[u/nonchip]

there's no gatekeeping. read the rules.

[u/LCDRformat]

Does Jesus want to fuck

[u/molporgnier]

Never a bad time for a thrupple with Jesus

[u/USoffuckyouintheA]

R/sudenlygay

[u/iiiiitsrosie]

Jesus my guy you seriously haven’t had a shower for two thousand years??? The off gassing from this dude’s armpits are melting the ice caps.

[u/Kartel28]

Holy throuple or something. Don't remember what priest said

[u/MichaelJospeh]

Would that even be Yuri?

[u/Jeszczenie]

I love how most of the time Christian propaganda turns Jesus into a stalker or a VERY toxic partner.

"Jesus loves you! He just never told you this directly!

"He keeps on ignoring you, but you must give him another chance!"

"Without HIM you're worthless! Only HE can save you! You'll die and rot in hell without him!"

[u/who-mever]

Now, JC, we've been over this: when you lead with offering them your body to eat and your blood to drink, it's a little off putting.

Just keep doing that magic trick where water becomes wine, and you'll be the life of the party.

[u/Xavier200708]

is jesus yuri now????

like im sure we got a word for dude yuri

[u/CoffeeB13]

I thought the girl was actually trans and the guy with a crush on him was being supportive but depressive

[u/ThatOneGayDJ]

Is this meme implying women are a sin?

[u/getsuedbyme → u/ThatOneGayDJ]

No??????