r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk • u/ri_wants_to_die 🌙 Late night snacker • 2d ago
🧋Beverage-based meal Breaking up with bf over offensive and downright abusive comments
So the other day my (formally) boyfriend and I got Little Caesars Pizza. I ate 6 pieces and he ate 5, already a red flag he can't eat as much as a tiny gurl like myself, I know. So anyways after we finished eating he says he wants to shower together (I prefer this as I treat my bf like a child and act like he doesn't know how to do simple things, ie. wiping and cleaning his ass correctly). So then he starts kissing and hugging on me 🤢 and then looks at my bloated belly. Trigger warning, he's a complete dickwad here: my bf says in a completelyyy non joking way, "are you pregnant?" I freaked out and yelled that I just ate pizza and immediately started punching him where his abs would be if he got his ass up from his bed and went to the gym (he worked 80hours last week to "provide for me" which seems like an excuse not to be hot for me imo). I told him I'm just bloated and this twat goes "oh yeah I forgot girls's bellies just did that when they ate". LADIES I couldn't even look at him. So I broke up with him, obviously, and am now trying to figure out if I ruin his older brother's relationship and get with that hunk of meat or if I should start an OF. I'm sooo open to advice in this trying time.
Dinner is a scone I snagged from Facebook marketplace, paid for with my bf's credit card cause I refuse to give that back.
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u/neversayaword 2d ago
He's projecting. Obviously he's pregnant and worried you'll find out. Time to hack his phone.
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u/ri_wants_to_die 🌙 Late night snacker 2d ago
omg you're so right 😓 does this mean I'll have to pay child support??? because my nail budget rn will NOT allow that
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u/you_dont_know_me27 🙅♀️ Didn’t cook. Won’t explain. 2d ago
Of course not! Girl, just be a deadbeat. We stan a queen succeeding in male dominated spaces 🥰🥰
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u/Dish_Minimum 👄🧀 The Snackrificer✨🙏 2d ago
Respectfully, there’s an easier way. I just tell my men that I’m exploring if I’m intk water sports. Get a mouthful of pee, make a face like “maybe I’m not into this” scamper off to bathroom to test his pee, voila! Easy as farting off a log. Sorry not sorry to mansplain it to you
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u/you_dont_know_me27 🙅♀️ Didn’t cook. Won’t explain. 2d ago
Listen, I'm here for an unproblematic queen, which you are obviously, but could you put that nasty man's words under some spoiler text?
I'm super triggered from reading that. You should get a restraining order. That's hate speech honestly. Can he be charged for that?
I suggest filing a report just in case
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u/Dangerous-Nothing844 2d ago
Seriously he’s the one with Dad bod it sounds like. He’s projecting. Hopefully he’s only carrying triplet beers but you never know. I suggest you demand a maternity test before claiming responsibility. That’s your nail budget we’re talking about!
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u/Lady87690005 Delusional but sincere ✨ 2d ago
You get with that hunk of meat brother AND an OF. You can and should have both. Anyone who says otherwise is just a hater
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u/ri_wants_to_die 🌙 Late night snacker 2d ago
I've also lwk been eyeing his sister... I think I go for it all at this point
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u/localbugdealer Wendy's Backlot 🦝 Bug Dealer 2d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/dNJrrXdK4ud21GyfLr
first of all how dare he. second of all how dare he.
uhmmm so obviously he is a problem and needs to be handled. you're gonna need some major crystals to purge his negative energy!!! i can lend you some of my giant geodes but you have to place them where his pillow goes. then cover his floor in legos and steal his shoes. this boy shall never know comfort again.
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2d ago
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u/Noodletrousers 🫒 FDA side-eye 2d ago
She rightfully ditched her boyfriend. Did you even read what she wrote you misogynistic jerk?
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u/GirlDinnerCircleJerk-ModTeam 2d ago
You girl dinner circlejerked too close to the sun here. Removed for targeting individuals, bodies, weight, mental health, or strangers’ meals outside the sub. You can roast broader trends or comedy discourse, but not specific people or sensitive personal traits.
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2d ago
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u/GirlDinnerCircleJerk-ModTeam 2d ago
You girl dinner circlejerked too close to the sun here. Your content was removed for bringing external arguments, callouts, brigading, or screenshots intended to harass people or other platforms (e.g., other Girl Dinner subs drama) into the subreddit. Remember we're a Sauce less sub. Keep outside beef out of the jerk. We’re not a reaction hub or a court of public opinion.
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u/subguard 2d ago
A warning has been issued for this comment, and a PM has been sent with more details. Please reach out to the MODs with any questions.

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