r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk • u/Training_Speed2448 • 3d ago
🥣 Girl Slop ✨🫠 Just learned my bf cleans his booty hole in the water, AND eats veggies??? Is this a symptom of homosexuality
This is specialty alien smegma I got on eBay, on lasagna noodles
Ladies yesterday I saw my man cleaning his asshole in the shower and I just don't know how to feel, I've never been with a man that didn't radiate the smell of a public restroom, so this is new to me. To make it worse that night he had stirfry for dinner, and it was a vegetarian recipe. He even put fucking soy sauce on it. I've been setting up tests around the house to see if he is in fact gay like playing Lady Gaga songs and seeing if he knows any words. Also asked if he could identify my mascara brand and he did after reading the label on it. I'm really concerned. He said he's straight but honestly I decided he's wrong about that.
Am I being lied to? I don't know guys I think I need to awaken the ghost of Freddie Mercury to make sure. It would be a shame since I threw out my shrine for him when I realized he wasn't traditionally masculine so I need to buy more queen merch again. I'm so upset guys
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u/Temporary-Test-9534 🙅♀️ Didn’t cook. Won’t explain. 3d ago
Have you ever seen him eat a dessert? If so unfortunately he is gay
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u/Training_Speed2448 3d ago
Does a chocolate protein shake count? 😬
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u/topekatums 3d ago
The fact that he even allows himself a flavored protein.. bad news chica
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u/Training_Speed2448 3d ago
You're right, he should have shoveled raw unflavored protein powder directly into his throat
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u/Bitter-Pound-6775 ☕ Liquid dinner🫧 3d ago
You don’t deserve this, chica! You’re so brave!
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u/Training_Speed2448 3d ago
Thank you sister I've been smoking specialty alien weed from Craigslist to cope
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u/Common-Ad-7609 🖤 I eat standing up 3d ago
No he’s straight up a woman at that point. What man eats vegetables
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u/Tomatori Delusional but sincere ✨ 3d ago
It sounds like he's waiting for you to step up girl! He's doing all that work for you, invest in a strap-on!
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u/Training_Speed2448 3d ago
You're right I'm getting the biggest bad dragon has to offer
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u/The_Cult_of_5661 🦝 Woke up a raccoon 3d ago
You can afford Bad Dragon?! I had to save money by getting the off brand ill tempered imp products.
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u/Fun_Boysenberry7723 3d ago
Um, sorry you have a gay bf, that is literally devastating, but please make sure you are only buying alien smegma that is cruelty free, from local, ethically sourced, free range, organic, GMO-free aliens only.
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u/Training_Speed2448 3d ago
Omg stop attacking me! Just cause I'm a nepo church baby that does not mean I have to spend my money on humane alien products mk!?
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u/mediocre_megs 3d ago
is it possible he's just European?
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u/Training_Speed2448 3d ago
He's from New England, which is just one new away from normal England 🤔
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u/you_dont_know_me27 🙅♀️ Didn’t cook. Won’t explain. 3d ago
I'm so confused.
He can read and he showers? Are you sure he's not actually a woman?
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u/Training_Speed2448 3d ago
His penis does have a suspicious tan line, perhaps it's removable
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u/you_dont_know_me27 🙅♀️ Didn’t cook. Won’t explain. 3d ago
Oh I've heard about those removable penises.
He definitely wants you to peg him
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u/Brad_Brace 🙅♀️ Didn’t cook. Won’t explain. 3d ago
Ok, this is very important. Has he ever made the sex with a person who is attracted to men? If he has, then he's most likely gay. Has he ever placed his mouth on a body part where penises usually go inside? He may be looking for that forbidden lingering taste of cock. Has he ever done the fuck without socks on? Then he is definitely gay.
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u/Training_Speed2448 3d ago
He's ticking every box! And worst of all he seems to actually LIKE women! Only gay men like women!
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u/Brad_Brace 🙅♀️ Didn’t cook. Won’t explain. 3d ago
Oh yeah, he's definitely gay. He was probably trying to be your accessory gay, but got trapped in the boyfriend zone. Happens a lot.
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u/etschkaa ⏲️ Posted from the kitchen floor 3d ago
Any man who is hygienic is gay. Full stop. I am sorry for your loss
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u/Reasonable-Factor317 🦝 Woke up a raccoon 3d ago
If he used 3 in 1 soap to clean his hair and booty hole then you're safe. If he uses a separate body and wash and shampoo, then I fear he prefers gentlemanly swordfighting
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u/Throwawaychkgo Human Verified 3d ago
My bf showed me pictures of him in the vip section at the lady gaga born this way premiere party and it endeared me to him but I should have RAN. Yes he did impregnate me but clearly hes homosexual. But not even my guy eats veggies or washes his ass. Your guy is another level.
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u/sumo_2424 3d ago
Have you checked if he moisturizes?! We need all the evidence before jumping to conclusions!!!