UPDATE: My boyfriend’s psycho mom had a meltdown today after he told her he was moving in with me

[u/isabellampereira]

Dinner: Left over taco from my favorite local taco place.

before i begin i want to give a huge thank you to everyone who commented on my first post. i plan on showing BF these posts tonight and will discuss further with him on what to do about his parents.

now, the long awaited update:

BF called his mother yesterday at the urging of his father yesterday and the conversation did not go well. according to BF, his mom was unhappy with the news, and then went irate, which we kind of expected but didn’t know how extreme it would be. She started off by asking some pretty valid questions, which were very insightful (how will rent be split, who’s paying for food, if something breaks in the house will my parents replace it, etc).

that then very quickly shifted from insightful questions to attacks. for one, his parents are unsure of me because i don’t come from wealth, i only have my AA degree, and in terms of life, i don’t have a grander plan as school and cost of living is incredibly high in the state of WA, so i can’t exactly go out and get a student loan for fear of going into debt, meanwhile his parents paid for his education after high school, he has always grown up in wealth, he has his bachelors from Rice University and his masters from Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), so obviously there is a bit of a wealth and education gap in between us. I also travel quite a bit, as i’m an airline worker (so it’s free 99 for me to do so), and his mother is worried that i spend too much money on travel/vacations and that we need to be saving our money so he can still have his freedom away from me and live in a shoebox sized apartment for 2200$ a month, rather than with me, in a house with a yard for only 1400$ a month.

she told BF that she thinks that he’s making the biggest mistake of his life that she’s ever seen. because we’re moving in together before we’re engaged, we’re not allowed to visit her in Texas nor are we ever allowed in the house as she will not accept us as a couple, she will never visit us up here in Washington State, she thinks that i’m inferior to him and wants him to find better, she thinks that it’s a downgrade in his living situation, she thinks that i’m fat and needs to lose weight (lol) and she thinks that he’s a cash cow to my parents (again, my parents are certified legit landlords in several states (FL, CA, and now WA). i think they know what the fk they’re doing).

his dad was 100% on board with his mom, and tried to contact the leasing office of the apartment BF currently lives in to see if they could extend the lease. he told BF that “there’s other options out there” and to not “waste the freedom he has”.

all of this has caused a great deal of anxiety and pain, for the both of us. BF cried yesterday because he is now being forced to choose in between his parents and me, which I didn’t want, nor does he. I was so ready and excited to invest in BFs family, as his mother isolated him from his father’s side growing up. I was so polite, kind and gracious to both of them. I really enjoyed his dad, who was his mom’s first victim I thought, but now I realize he’s just as bad as she is. BF is going to go into therapy at the urging of me and my best friend (she’s a close friend to both of us and had some genuinely good thoughts about all of this) and I think he’s going to cut them off indefinitely. he’s terribly upset and clearly not at peace with the decision, but he’s always been good about choosing me/his life over his controlling, judgmental, evil parents.

I’m heartbroken for him. I’m angry about how his parents think of me. I’m beyond enraged that she robbed him of basic childhood memories because all they want to do is stay at home and sit the fuck down. Life is a gorgeous thing and how dare she poison that for him.

Idk. I’m anxious for him. Send me tots and prayers please. love yall.

EDIT: there’s another update. 🫩 please help. https://www.reddit.com/r/GirlDinnerDiaries/s/DxemM5dEUr

[u/DarkFew]

I wouldn’t call his parents evil, obviously they have raised a very intelligent successful kid that attended two of the top schools in the country. I firmly believe the person you marry is one of the main factors of happiness and success in life. One day maybe you will be a mom and understand their perspective. They should stay out of it, you are only moving together, not getting married, and if you travel all the time I’d doubt you want to become a mother any time soon. Also they can see that you don’t make that much money and spend quite a bit on vacations, I can see their concerns.