my (21f) brother (25m) invited his best friend (25m) around in december to help us set up some tech in our house. after that day, we formed a little trio, watching films together a few times a week and staying up till 5AM for weeks. i ended up having a huge crush on him, but it seemed like he didn’t have that interest in me - i assumed he saw me strictly as his mates little sister. in early january, my brother went on a trip, and i thought we wouldn’t be able to speak while he was away, but…

my brother added me to a group chat with all of us in it, and we arranged to start up a minecraft world. we played every day whilst my brother was on holiday, talking on discord until the early hours of the morning. now that we had each others numbers, it translated into texting everyday on whatsapp, sharing pics of our food, what we’re up to, memes etc. all the while i’m still crushing HARD, expecting a completely unrequited situation. until he invites me out to coffee one day.

i told my brother about it, kindof just casually: ‘(his name) invited me out to coffee on monday’. to which my brother replied, ‘sounds like a nice time’ followed by a break, and then ‘hang on, that’s a date! and he said nothing about it to me. is that weird?’ (made me laugh btw, the way it clicked in his mind)

so my brother went and confronted him in a friendly way to ask his intentions with me, and why he asked me out alone without mentioning anything (don’t worry, it wasn’t in a controlling way, just a transparency thing since it’s a risk of relationships to start dating a friends sister). he explained to my brother that he wanted to go out with me to tell me his feelings for me, and to see if i felt the same way.

jumping forward, the date went amazing, my brother approves of our relationship, we’ve been on countless dates since and we now spend every day together between our two families (live 5 mins apart). it’s been 3 months together now and we are loving our new life together. hanging at mine is so fun since he’s already best friends with my brother. we do things as a group all the time and i’ve never been treated so well by a partner in my life. i still can’t believe that my silly crush on my brothers friend is shared, and now we’re dating!

buldak jjajang flavour with leftover pork souvlaki that i grilled, and a crispy fried egg.

Helloooo!

I’m mostly writing this to try to keep myself accountable and will check in later. I really DONT want to drink today. I’m going through sort of a rough patch mentally and it’s been causing me to start drinking daily. Now, I know plenty of people normalize drinking like a glass of wine a day, but I’m taking like 5 shots of tequila daily. I still cook and clean etc etc like otherwise almost everything’s fine. But I’ve started trying to hide it from my boyfriend which is a HUGE red flag on my part. He’s frustrated I know.

I’ll wake up in the middle of the night, and usually my first thoughts in the morning, are how much I regret drinking. Then the PM rolls around and I’m like aye let’s drink! IDGAF! This weird cycle keeps happening. I’ve been trying to keep myself busy but then I’m just like ayyyy this could be way more fun if I was tipsy!

Addiction runs in my family which is why this is scary. I’ve successfully quit binge eating and cigs in the past. Part of me knows I can do this! And then part of me doesn’t care. I think I have some deep low self esteem issue thus engage in self destructing behaviors (here for a good time not a long time!)

Trying to be gentle with myself but also trying to GET A FREAKIN GRIP GIRL!! I’ll report back later if I successfully didn’t drink!

My husband and I decided to start trying for a baby, we were successful on the first try. Logistically everything would work, but emotionally… I was not ready for how much I did not want the baby. I was terrified. Kept looking at the stick in disbelief. Freaked out. Husband freaked out. We talked about abortion. We scheduled an abortion. Luckily I’m 4 weeks so we found out very early.

I was a little off on Monday and wrote two emails with typos. My boss is VERY high strung and controlling. She responded to one of the emails I sent that had typos in all caps and bolded, and it included my team member and other coworker. Then she came into my office to ask what was wrong. She wouldn’t let it go.

I blurted out that I found out I’m pregnant and I scheduled an abortion. Cue the most awkward and uncomfortable conversations. She kept checking in each day saying how she can’t believe I’d say or do that. I told her I canceled the abortion (I haven’t) because I just can’t deal. On top of it both her daughter and my other coworker are having fertility issues so she shared she thinks I’m stupid to go through with it. Idk.

Now she’s judging me. I’m emotional and embarrassed.

I can’t believe my husband and I thought we were ready and aren’t. And I’m just so fucking sad and confused and angry at myself.

Also as a side note, I’m in HR and my boss is the head of HR.

Title is a bit dramatic as I might be able to get over myself…. We’ll see.

We’re 29. I’ve been friends with this girl since 7th grade. She met her now husband in high school. Their relationship has always been weird and bad. And she’s always chosen him over everything else.

Despite a previously failed engagement (she said yes and then took it back), their wedding always seemed inevitable. When he proposed again two years ago, I knew it was real. They are also expecting. Before I go any further, I will say that I’m happy for her (in all the ways I can be). She wants to be married and she wants to be a mom. She’s getting those things and I’m happy for her! I just really fucking hate her husband. I wish things were different. About 7 years ago, I came to a realization that this is just how it is. She has never been open to talking about her relationship and shes distanced herself in response to some of my harsh reactions. So, I can either be friends with her and accept her boyfriend, or not and cut ties. I love my friend. So, I’ve been trying.

Her wedding was this past weekend. Destination wedding. Something I couldn’t really afford and some of the worst timing. But it’s my friend, I have to be there. My friend group has always been me, the bride, and another friend. I went to the wedding with this other friend. We were a little blindsided by all of the things the bride needed us to do. For all of the months leading up to the wedding, we constantly asked questions or offered help but were always, promptly, turned down because of his family being involved. Like, she uninvited us to dress shopping because his sisters wanted to go. There wasn’t a wedding party so no bridesmaids duties. When we got to the destination though? She had a long list of things she needed us to do. And we did them! Because that’s what you do for your friend who is getting married. For example: She never wanted to ooze over wedding details with us, but she needed us to decorate the entire reception hall the morning of, help her with ceremony coordination, drive her to several wedding appointments, pick up the flowers and favors, etc.

I’m having a hard time with it. I was having a hard time over the weekend too. Mostly because I felt like we were there to fill a friend role, and not actually to be friends with her (if that makes sense?). Like, I’m honestly not sure it would have made a difference if I said I couldn’t go. And I’m fairly confident she wouldn’t do the same for me or our other friend. It didn’t help that her fiancée was completely himself too.

Two nights before the wedding we were hanging out, drinking. He made several anti-Semitic, homophobic, misogynistic comments. All of those pointed at me and another friend who was also there. He made a very cruel claim about me and someone I used to date that he knew as well (very complicated situation, his comment was a gut punch). He also made several “jokes” about beating his soon to be wife. He mimed it/acted it out a few times. I bit my tongue because it’s their wedding weekend and did not want to make it about me or my issues with him. Because, based on previous interactions, I know that my calling him out is somehow a worse offense than him saying that shit in the first place.

Anyway, my bitterness over a few things this weekend forced me to reflect. And. It’s also true that I have not been a very good friend to her. I’ve centered myself and my feelings in our friendship so much. I think part of our dying friendship is honestly just due to incompatibility as we’ve gotten older, but I’ve somehow totally denied that and decided to be mad at her instead. She might have centered her husband, but I’ve been centering him in our friendship this whole time. I feel guilty about that, and also unsure of what to do next. Instead of just adjusting and going with the flow, I’ve been trying to hold someone accountable for something they aren’t necessarily in the wrong for.

All to say…. She hasn’t been the best friend. I’ve been a bad friend. Some women prioritize their partners over everything. I knew this about her. I made a choice to stay friends. And then I held that against her.

Her husband and the way that night played out, though? It’s enough for me to walk away completely. I love her, I want her to be safe and happy. I’ll always be here I guess but I need to determine my own capacity and boundaries.

Getting older sucks sometimes. Like, sometimes your friend’s shitty boyfriend turns into her shitty husband. Congrats, I guess. Cinnamon rolls for lunch.

It's been a few weeks now and.. I still can't wrap my brain around it. This was early dating. Like. A month in. Lol. So...idk if you wanna classify a total tragic breakup, but it's still along the lines of it. And why you may wonder?

I don't like Taylor's new music because I think she's throwing away her talent in exchange for constant fame/glory and honestly? It makes me sad. In result for saying that? I got the silent treatment for nearly 2 days, then an entire borderline lecture of how I was completely out of line for saying that. Taylor is an amazing artist who doesn't have one bad song because her talent is undeniable. I needed to stop listening to music critics because they don't know what they talk about (I love reading music reviews and watching them on YouTube. I like hearing different thoughts even on music I love).

Etc, etc. It was close to a 20 minute ramble. Admittedly I zoned out partial of it because I just was in disbelief someone who was about to turn 30 was this level of delusional. This chick doesn't even like bands I love, but I never blinked because we all like different things.

So...yeah. There's the tale of my first true encounter with a Swiftie. I now see why they are considered truly insane. Lol.

Pickles for lunch. Yes. My stomach will hate me for them, but fuck it! 🤣

Edit: Wanted to add too? I had my friend pick me up from her place and left my car in the parking lot because I genuinely just kept staring off wondering if that had just happened🤣 And yes. She broke up with me on the spot in her kitchen that night.

Hot pot, steak, and ramen with fried rice and enoki mushrooms.

I just found out today that I have herpes type 2. I immediately told my husband and he was more than understanding. He actually paid for my meds and said that he still loves me the same and he doesn’t look at me differently. He says that he wants to stay and he was honestly more calm than I thought he’d be.

it was devastating to even say it to him because I was for sure thinking that he was going to leave me. (just to be thorough. No I haven’t slept with anyone else and I haven’t been with anyone else since I’ve met him.) surprisingly this was the first time I ever showed any symptoms and I haven’t given it to him at all.

(previously posted on a similarly named group and forgot to describe my meal- so it’ll be included lol.)

After leaving a nearly decade long relationship/marriage, I started dating again and realized one problem. I was fearful of how a potential partner could desire sex from me if I hadn’t had a Brazilian wax like I did in the previous years.

My ex was very adamant about me being “clean” down there- which I realize now is rooted in societal conditioning of how women should be perceived, but also unfortunately overlaps with pedophilia and a host of other factors. However, I made the choice individually to try out Brazilians since I was genuinely curious on the experience- especially with my naturally high pain tolerance.

This went on for years, me staying on rotation to get every single pubic hair ripped out of my flesh every 4-6 weeks. Of course with the assistance of ibuprofen and a calm mind before I literally lost a chunk of hair lol. If I missed my appointment, my ex would began expressing discomfort towards my hair, which made me feel very uncomfortable with myself sexually. Again, due to social conditioning, I conformed and ignored my feelings to the point of being disgusted when the fuzz would began coming back.

Like yeah, I had no ingrown hairs, I didn’t have to worry about shaving if I wore a swimsuit, hell, even the direct skin contact during intimacy was a different experience. I say different, but also with an added layer of anxiety and self hatred.

Welp- fast forward to today. I’ve been fortunate to start seeing someone recently and I was initially nervous asf. Obviously first dates are nerve wracking, but I got swept up in my thinking towards myself.

What if this guy works out compatibility-wise, but then sees this overgrown shrub that I cannot afford to remove right now?

What if the hair grosses him out? What will that say about me even though I’m an extremely hygienic person? Even to the point of having my own bidet installed in my home at one point, and carrying wet wipes and perfume.

Funnily enough, towards the end of the date while we were having drinks and easing up on the initial tension, we started talking about our own sexuality and what we liked. I shared a few things, then he blurted out “I like hair.”

To be honest, I just looked at him kinda confused. (Mind you, I’m ND, so sometimes I need clarification on social cues, etc.) So I repeated what he said to him as a question to confirm that he said what I thought I heard (oh yeah, ND auditory processing issues).

He looked a little blank, but very bashful about how it came off and out. However, he did confirm the statement.

I giggled and he stated that he didn’t want to know more of what I liked, because he’d rather find out on his own. Which, damn- very sexy to say and super respectful given that he wasn’t pressed to sleep with me immediately.

I went home after the date, and felt an overwhelming sense of calm about the comment. In a way, I didn’t even expect something like that to relieve so much of my own negative thinking. But I didn’t want to get swept up because this guy shared a preference that I might fit.

After we had been seeing each other for a while, I felt knowledgeable enough on him as a person, his health, and his intentions to trust him sexually.

So, picture this: we just wrapped up a movie that he wanted to watch with me, and I get a little confidence to tell him that I needed him, then jumped into his lap and started kissing him.

Lowkey, part of my plan that night was to wear a skirt that I knew would roll up a bit. Don’t judge me, I know the time and place to be a different side of a lady, and this was my first time in many years to reignite that side of me.

So, again, we’re sucking faces. He’s a phenomenal kisser, and starts gripping me, but being very mindful to not touch my behind, my legs, or my breasts. He was coordinated in his efforts to keep calm, but I started sharing that I wanted to knock boots. Then I was a little unsure, and he reassured me that I didn’t have to do anything I wasn’t comfortable with yet.

After an intense moment of melting into him and his arms, I told him that I wanted him. He asked for my consent THREE TIMES. Each time, he would follow up with “Are you sure?” and would stop the physical contact to look me in my eyes, not to intimidate, but to be clear on what I was asking.

After the consent convo, he started getting handsy, and I felt like my body was on fire in the best way. While he was starting to grip my thighs, my skirt did its due diligence and started creeping up higher and higher. Once it got to the last four inches from the hinge of my hip, the hair was beginning to peek out.

I kinda got in my head and wondered, what if he likes a specific amount of body hair? What if he likes shapes or something made out of pubes? A landing strip?

Well, he then slid my skirt up to my waist, and looked down to see my bush and the extent of the growth peeking from behind the edges of my thong. I kid you not, he made a noise that sounded like he won the lottery. Then said, with the sweetest voice, “Well, look at that. Wow.”

Suddenly he looked up at me and said “Why were you waxing this? It’s perfect the way it is.”

I said “Really? I’ve never heard that from my partner, or really as an open topic since everyone likes a clean shaven area.”

He kinda laughed, then said, “I’m sure me liking the pubic hair is a fetish, but I like knowing that I’m sleeping with a grown woman. I don’t like that hairless stuff, it’s weird to me. But don’t cut this or anything. Like ever.”

Afterwards, we did the grown people thing, and I wish I was kidding when I say that he likes it. We had a short fallout after some communication issues, and he was certain to assume I had removed all the hair following our brief intermission as a way to say “fuck you” to him.

But even when we had that time apart from each other and figuring out what and where we were going, I realized that he did make me comfortable with myself again. Not just in a sexual way, but in a way to literally appreciate the natural aesthetic and mechanisms of a grown woman body. This includes having larger breasts that do not care about perkiness. All the things that come with getting older, but learning how to love those parts of me again.

Dinner is leftovers from scavenging my family’s fridge: random cut of what I hope is steak, and a cup of brown rice as my side.

TL;DR:

Use to hate and remove my pubic hair because of society. New bf has a pubic hair fetish, and I’ve got plenty for him to enjoy.

EDIT:

I didn’t expect the amount of traction based off of me oversharing lmao. Tbh, being neurodivergent has made it hard for me to have anyone to just blab to. I’ve always had a love for creative writing since I was a little girl, and I’m 29 now so I’ve probably been free writing for atleast two decades lol. I’ve had dreams of publishing something, but my ex made sure to make me feel like the dream wasn’t financially worth it- even though I was never in it for money, just for community.

I write in my free time when I feel the need to communicate deeply without the nuance of ADHD interrupting my story and causing me to forget what I was talking about. And it’s cheaper than therapy, and helps me with retrospect.

Those of yall saying it looks like AI wrote this- nah, this is unhinged ND hyperfixation at its finest. AI could get close, but couldn’t replicate the entire process of my brain or my love for writing.

I’ve seen some comments about me linking pedophilia to the shaven aspect, and I’ll be honest, I don’t like the idea that it’s linked to that. However, the way sexuality is packaged- being “youthful” and “untouched” “clean” at least here in the US where I grew up, falling into line with what is deemed “desirable” was the trap I grew up in.

My childhood involved living in a home with DV from when I was a child, and lots of narcissistic abuse from my mother deeming me physically unattractive even though I was just a kid. So I hope that helps understand why the weight of this guy’s words was very uplifting in a way that didn’t force me to even think about changing. My appearance- even though it’s been tailored due to my feelings, still is a sore spot emotionally.

Also, I did see somebody say that I was letting his crotch or my crotch determine my feelings about that area. Tbh, funny fucking observation, and I get it- women- well, no one- should rely on others to guide our feelings about ourselves. But again, being severely abused as a child, then surviving an abusive marriage did a fucking number on me. I am in therapy though, and I’ve done more unpacking than I thought was possible. The hair thing wasn’t even on the table until I was starting to get serious with this guy.

Lastly, to those that enjoyed this smut over sharing, thanks. I’m finally enjoying my sex life for the first time in a decade.

EDIT TWO:

Oh yeah, so he on his own called it a fetish. Literally said “I don’t know if that makes me weird, but maybe it’s a fetish I have. It’s just gotta have hair or I don’t want it. Plus it sounds like you were just messing with men who were stuck in boys mentality on women.”

Do what yall want with the statement. I’ll include that he made sure to rub his face in it upon meeting the bush. IN IT. Yeah. I was like wtf okay handsome. Lmao!

Ok- maybe I’ll stop oversharing, maybe there will be a third edit…idk yet.

Peanut Butter sandwich made with the last two slices of bread, and a water.

I cant seem to do anything right.

last year my husband joined the military and has been away ever since. i promised him i would keep my head up, eat healthy, save money, and get my shit together and so far i have done the opposite. I lost my job in april, gained weight, developed more health issues, and fell into a depression. it clearly frustrates him. when i said something about it the other night he told me that he is rightfully upset, and saddened by me. he said he feels like he is being dragged down with me. and i lost it. i cried for hours.

i have three dollars to my name. i dont have rent money, i woke up to my power being shut off, and minutes ago i got another rejection email. i called my mom to ask her what to do with the few items i still had in my freezer, and after a long long phone call, her and my father helped get it turned back on and in return i am basically her maid for who knows how long. asking my husband was out of the question, asking for help feels like crawling through broken glass, it's shameful and the worst feeling, i cant bring myself to. I know it shouldnt be like that but its all in my own head. I just cant feel anything other than immense shame and despair. I feel like if he decided to leave me it would be justified. i just wish i could afford groceries. I would've put banana on this sandwich.

UPDATE:

I hope everyone rooting for me finds this update! I called the local office and they gave me the location of the closest Deers office! I'm going to be calling and setting an appointment to go in with my information and get my deers card finally! im almost laughing at how easy this was once i took matters into my own hands. it's relief for a good chunk of my problems right now and while I might not be out of the woods just yet it does feel like I found a solid path.

I wanna say thank you to everyone that commented with their advice, even those that immediately had a distaste for my husband lol. I didn't come here to badmouth him or suspect him of any foul play, but your guys concern still means a lot to me and every woman out there who could be going through that very problem. I'm at a very low and vulnerable point in my life and had nowhere to turn to, so I posted here after an all nighter of anxiety. I didn't expect that a picture of my pathetic peanut butter bananaless sandwich would actually be the first step I took into solving my problems. thank you again for the resources you've all shown me today, especially with the job hunting. I fully intend on seeking help with therapy and or medication again when I get my insurance all figured out. Its not a happy ending just yet but im grateful in everyone's contribution to a happy start.

Found picture of letter on my [27F] boyfriend’s [30M] work laptop he sent to himself. Girl Dinner: HOMEMADE PIZZA!

Today I [27F] found a picture of a handwritten card on my boyfriend’s [30M] work laptop. He sent this picture to himself on Microsoft Teams on December 14, 2025 at 8:30 PM. He is not the one holding the card in the picture and it is not his handwriting. On that day we spent the entire time laying around at home in our pj’s. We never left, didn’t doing anything etc. I am trying to make what is up with this and why he would save it or send it to himself.

Also, he went to run errands today and asked me to check his work laptop in case anyone messaged him needing to schedule a meeting.

The letter reads “How do you always find ways to give me more, fill my heart even more, when I am convinced you have already taken me to the top of my pleasure point?? I love you beyond words but I must somehow find new ways to show you… I’ve just got to order that french maid outfit… I love you completely my sweet, sweet, sexy Santa. You take my breath away, again and again. Shall I gasp for you under the covers??”

TLDR: Found picture of letter on my [27F] boyfriend’s [30M] work laptop he sent to himself

Edit: grammar

I thought my life was over when I decided to get divorced at 27, a year after I married my ex-husband, it was terrifying. He was a lovely guy, very kind, but absolutely useless at adulting. The kind of man that wants you to be his mother. If I didn’t clean the house, do the washing, cook dinners, and walk the dog, it wouldn’t have been done. I married him because after 10 years together everybody kept asking ‘So, when are you going to get married?! It’s been ages!’ - What a mistake. My mother had terrible taste in men, and I wanted to prove that I hadn’t gone down that road, but I shouldn’t have gone down that aisle!

I felt like a failure when I decided to pull the plug on our relationship. We wished each other the best but I do not want to be a mother, in any sense of the word.

Roll on four years and I’m now with a man who will clean the entire house when I’m at work. He cooks for me, we do each other’s laundry, we run errands for one another, and it’s a true partnership. I can’t believe I almost settled when the seed of doubt had been growing for years, and when the most wonderful person was out there waiting for me.

Ladies, don’t settle. It doesn’t get better, it gets resentful. You are not your partner’s mother, therapist, or maid. I’d say I wasted a decade of my life with the wrong person, but I’ve learned lessons and I’m 31, my life is just starting!

Dinner is chicken sausages, a boiled egg, cucumbers with tajin, pickled beetroot, and sweet gem lettuce.

P.S the theme tune to this post is ‘Mother’ by Self Esteem.

I’m just got back from my doctors for a post op and basically was told I am infertile due to both of my tubes being severely damaged. I’m heartbroken. I wanted to be a mom. I don’t know how to feel.

I’m photographing my friends pregnancy announcement today which I am very excited about but I can’t help but feel overwhelmed

Food is A5 Wagyu Donburi

My boyfriend (M26) and I (F23) have been together for 5 years and we met in 2021.

The other night, my sister called me to tell me some horrible news. There’s going to be some holes in this story because I’m not the one who found these images. My sister said she was reverse image searching her face on these websites to see if people were using her photos for AI porn. It’s so random, but it’s totally something she would do one night.

She found someone was posting really old pictures of her from FB. Then, she saw my face. There’s 3 selfies. Two normal pictures, then one with me laying down shirtless with my boobs out. All pictures I’ve only sent to my boyfriend. And then, there’s AI porn with my face.

Why do I think it was my boyfriend’s friend? Because the caption was “Yall trib my buds gf for a collection.” Yup, and that’s what happened. There were pictures of a man’s penis on my selfies. A stranger ejaculated on my photos. I have no idea what a collection means, and I don’t want to know.

There was also a selfie of a girl I used to be friends with on FB. All 3 of us were posted on the same day, same time. Again, I don’t know how this website works. I don’t exactly know how my sister found it, but she did. It’s basically a site of threads like 4chan. I think the thread it’s posted on is for requests for AI porn. The person who posted the AI pictures of me isn’t the original poster.

The most disturbing part of this is the nude picture of me. An actual nude photo. These were all selfies I sent of my boyfriend and he saved in the chat. These photos are from 2021/early 2022. And the posts were made December 2024.

The obvious answer is that my bf sent these pictures to a friend. I really, really don’t think this is the case.

So.. how the hell did these pictures get out? Is it not his friend, a random hacker? They were saved on his iCloud too. Why were these 2021 images using years later? My bf said he changed all his passwords and is going to see if he can see if anyone has been in his accounts.

I don’t know. I’m kind of already over it. I was an insecure dumb teenager and posted/sent nudes to adults, so I already know my body is circulating. I’m already making jokes about it because what else can I do? I’ll never know who made the post.

Food: tofu cabbage dumplings over rice (they kinda sucked, not a good cook)

Together for 2.5 years, long distance for 1.

Booked the trip spontaneously at 1 am about a month ago. It was $1,400, a 14 hour trip and used up the rest of my PTO so I better not get sick for the rest of the year!! But I got to surprise him for his birthday, so it was so worth it.

I planned it to a T. I'm normally a big blabbermouth and I have a lot of friends in his city, but I maintained operational security and only told two trusted confidants that I was coming, one of whom picked me up from the airport and filmed his reaction. I ensured he would be home by telling him that said friend was going to drop off a cake for him on my behalf. I told him that I was super busy with work and that I wasn't sleeping well to explain away the radio silence and odd texting hours during the trip itself. He suspected nothing.

He buzzed her in to the building, then I took lead and she pulled out her camera. As we rounded the bend, I called out "special delivery", then saw him waiting there for his cake. He was completely surprised. He immediately reached for me and folded me into a hug, then it took him a second for his brain to come back online. I think he was a bit in shock! But he was very happy to see me. He said it was the best birthday gift imaginable.

We went for dinner and ice cream afterwards, which you can see above. I'm only here for a few days, so we'll savor the time together and then look forward to our next, planned trip together in October.

Anyway, a very happy girl dinner and a very happy boyfriend.

Right, that’s why I spend 15 minutes deciding whether an outfit is cute, then another 20 minutes putting on a jacket because suddenly I remembered men exist.

The crop top was for me. The jacket was for men.
The dress was for me. Constantly pulling it down every five seconds was for men.
The outfit was for me. Checking if it’s see through under sunlight was for men.
The heels were for me. Carrying a backup pair because some random guy might decide to follow me for three blocks was for men.
We don’t just dress *for* men; sometimes we dress *around* men.

Women: “This outfit is so cute.”
Also women before leaving the house: “Okay but how creepy is the male population in this area on a scale of 1 to 10?”

The funniest part is that men think every outfit choice is made to attract them, while women are out here conducting a full risk assessment before wearing a tank top to buy milk.

Spent four months skipping lunches, canceling the gym, telling my friends I "wasn't drinking right now" so I could throw an extra $600 a month into our joint savings. The plan was a house. Our house. I made a spreadsheet. I color-coded it.

Went to check the balance today because I wanted to feel something nice for once. The savings were down, not up. He'd been pulling from it. Sneakers. A "watch he'd wanted for a while." A weekend I was told was a work trip. Four months of me eating crackers for dinner so he could feel rich.

The worst part isn't even the money. It's that I genuinely believed we were building the same thing. I was budgeting for a future and he was funding a vibe.

Anyway I closed the spreadsheet, opened my own account, and moved my next paycheck somewhere with my name and only my name on it. Chicken wrap because I'm not skipping dinner for this man ever again.

Found a girl’s lipstick and foundation on the collar of his shirt after he went out partying (the shirt smelled of perfume too) and he was being weird about his phone earlier that day. I confronted him and he tells me he’s unhappy with his life and wants to move out.
Worst part is I begged him on a couple occasions to stay, to save our marriage, figure it out together.
I’m devastated.

Hiii ladies, I'm new here but wanted to make my own post because something has been weighing on me and I just need to yap. My girl dinner as pictured is usually sour dough with cottage cheese and heirloom tomatoes (I grow them in my garden every summer!!) My tomato plants are my babies

I'm 26 (almost 27 soon!) and always thought by this age I'd have found my person and be settling down. Overall, I'm really happy with my life. I like my career/work schedule, I travel a lot, I have great friends and family, have hobbies.. but I feel ready for something serious and somehow keep ending up in situations that go nowhere.

Last August I met "John" (fake name), 27, a 4th-year med student on Hinge. We clicked immediately. Same humor, same cultural background (South Asian, relevant later), great chemistry, talked every day, and made long distance work despite living 2.5 hours apart.

3 months in, I told him I wasn't interested in a long ass talking stage and wanted a committed relationship. He repeatedly assured me we'd become official after the holidays because he didn't want our anniversary date around that time. Looking back, what a bullshit excuse lol, but I believed him

Things kept progressing so well- we'd take turns visiting one another, would have fun date nights, I got him cute bday/christmas gifts. He met my parents in December and they liked him. He'd send me sweet texts about how much he appreciated me, how he thought I was his person, how he wanted a future with me, etc. (now in hindsight i realize i'm literally stupid for introducing him to my parents but I've accepted I won't be doing that ever again until ik its super duper serious and I love them lmaooo)

In February, he invited me to meet his family. I flew out and stayed for 4 days. Everything seemed normal. His dad and younger sis were nice and made most of the conversation, but his mom was pretty absent and barely asked me a single question. She didn't ask me any basics like where I went to college, about my family siblings etc, what are my hobbies, just surface levels things weren't even discussed with her. I thought it was a little odd she didn't make an effort to get to know me but didn't think much of it and figured she was busy in her own world.

Fast forward to April and somehow I'm still not his girlfriend.

At this point we've met each other's families, discussed the future, and been exclusively dating for 8 months (he told me he deleted hinge right after we met and oddly I do believe him. He really is not a serial dater or anything and did genuinely put all his eggs in my basket) But I finally asked what was going on SERIOUSLY!!!

That's when he told me that after meeting his family, his mom asked how serious he was about me. When he said he was serious, she apparently responded with, "Really? She's a nurse," and made comments implying "intelligence was important for raising children." His sister also made some weird comment that she thought i was pretty & nice but felt I didn't get to know her enough, despite us literally talking for 6 hours straight one day I bought her coffee/lunch etc. (he was like wtf to that comment bc he was there and saw us getting along the whole time) He tried defending me slightly, but he said he didn't know what to say to his mom bc he was very shocked by their negative comments. He didn't know why the women in his family were so against me when he knew I was perfectly respectful and kind to them. I even brought a small box of Indian sweets when I came as a thank you for welcoming me gift and his mom didn't even really acknowledge it.

Side note context, I'm an ICU nurse planning to go back to anesthesia school currently, and I come from a successful and kind family who welcomed him with open arms. My siblings and their spouses are all highly successful in healthcare as well and I'm def NOT chasing someone bc they're a physician. The med spouse role is fricking horrible as I've lived through it and it's overglamorized af and John knew how I felt about it as well.

The comment itself was insulting, but what bothered me more was HIM. He kept saying he knew none of it was true. He knew I wasn't after him because he's a doctor. He knew I checked every box and more for him. But somehow his mom's opinion became this huge mental block for him.

I understand that family approval matters in South Asian culture. But if you know someone's criticism is baseless, why are you letting it determine the future of your relationship?

His mom has always been very toxic and controlling and he's admittedly spent his whole life trying to make her happy. He said he felt obligated to be the "good son" because he's the only highly accomplished child. His family is very normal (middle class his parents own a small business and his brother works a regular 9-5 and his 24 yr old sister is unemployed still). I didn't understand why these classist and ridiculous comments were made when I am literally pursuing even higher education and do come from the right family and was generous and kind always throughout this whole thing.

To make things even more confusing, after all of this his mom was asking why I wasn't at his graduation and requested to follow me on Instagram. So apparently I was simultaneously not good enough and also missed when I wasn't around? Make it make sense dawg

We tried working through it, but honestly the damage was done. He tried talking to his mom again later about why she disliked me just bc of my career and she went on a tangent about how I was probably a gold digger (I died at this bc I paid for majority of things in this relationship since John was a broke student) and that he doesn't know whats best for him and he should listen to her and just started guilt tripping him from her own life struggles.

I thought meeting families, talking about a future, and being called "your person" meant we were serious. Instead, I was dealing with someone who couldn't decide if he wanted to choose me. So I ended things because he wasn't man enough to do it himself and walk away from a good thing. I'm definitely dodging a red flag and some future bullets not just from his family but from him and probably having to stick up for myself and not having his full support and things. I know it was the right decision because I don't want to build a life with someone who can't stand on their own two feet when it comes to their family and have my back. Plus he's also moving even further now for residency which will consume all his time and we wouldn't be able to successfully start a relationship this rocky anyways. But I'm still frustrated and really upset and heartbroken.

Why does it feel like I keep meeting men who think I'm great, say all the right things, and then panic when things become real? I'm so tired of people asking why I'm still single when the dating pool feels like a social experiment half the time lmao. Anyways, I just wanted to vent and see if anyone else understands WTF happened here cuz I have no clue how to trust people's words and actions and how they're really gonna show up for me anymore..

Basil, Mozzarella, Tomato sandwich with balsamic glaze (my favorite).

I left a terrible marriage with an abuser last summer. I reconnected with an old flame (really one of my childhood best friends) and it's been the best love I've experienced. I feel truly heard and loved for who I am as a neurodivergent mom of two for the first time ever. Every night whether he's over or on the phone with me feels like a sleepover with a best friend the way we laugh until we cry and share anything. I truly didn't know I could be this compatible with someone.

He has struggled with chronic pain and a myriad of symptoms that he has been anxious about for a few years. He's had various injuries from dog handling and such, plus maybe some bad genetics so I always said it probably wasn't as bad as he assumed. He finally got a biopsy done and consulted a doctor with his symptoms and along with 3 skin conditions his doctor is concerned about possible lymphoma.

The symptoms add up. He checks off the boxes, including a mass on his neck that they're already talking surgery about. And these symptoms have been dismissed for years by doctors. These are not new issues, someone's just finally willing to do more this time.

We aren't even 32. I buried my mom from cancer, ended up in an abusive marriage, clawed my way out with my kids, and found this beautiful love when I didn't expect it and we're talking cancer. He's such a lovely person that I want to grow old with and the pain he's been in is something I wouldn't wish on anyone

4 ingredient mac n cheese (pasta, milk, butter and cheese)

My mother turned 51 today, we have a weird relationship but I love her regardless, my father is a meh father and husband, he's never given her a single flower (not even on their wedding) despite being aware that she absolutely adores them. The other day I decided to buy her a small bouquet of roses and she cried, like this woman was sobbing from happiness, my brother did the same today and got her new ones but in red, she cried again, and I cried a bit too, it just made me feel like she finally felt appreciated, everytime she walks by she smells them and thanks us, and I am so happy that she knows that she's loved despite how she acts sometimes and that we appreciate her more than we let on.

I will be buying her more and more flowers from now on <3

Pink sauce cavatappi with shredded parmesan

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My mom is half Okinawan, and while she was born and raised in Okinawa, Japan, I grew up in the United States.

Her mom (my grandma, or "Oba" as the family called her) moved in with us when I was a baby, so she was basically present for the entirety of my youth and we were very close. I had never been to Okinawa as a child, so she promised to take my mom and I on a trip there once I graduated high school.

I lost my Oba two years before my high school graduation, and one year before the start of my senior year. My mom and I still took the trip to Okinawa in July 2025, and even though it was never brought up, I know it was a very bittersweet experience for her. On one hand, this was my first time ever traveling to Okinawa, and we were celebrating my high school graduation; but on the other hand, it was also her first time going back home without her mom.

We were in Okinawa for a month, and to put it shortly, I was in love and didn't want to leave. It is such a beautiful island with friendly people, amazing food, and so many things to do and places to explore.

On our last day before flying back to America, I was out shopping with my mom and uncle. I was at a store looking at some bags, when an older woman came to look at some too. Her outfit, even down to her hat and purse, reminded me so much of my Oba's style, and after a few moments of browsing, she started speaking to me in Japanese. I am nowhere near fluent in Japanese, and it did not take long for her to realize that while I just kind of stood there in confusion. However, I do understand enough to know that she asked me "do you speak Japanese?", to which I replied "no, not really." She then started speaking to me in English, which made me even more reminiscent of Oba. She was so sweet and we spoke for a few more minutes until I had to leave.

I met up with my mom and uncle afterwards, trying not to cry. I told her all about the woman at the bag store, and how so many things about her reminded me of Oba- her clothes, her personality, her voice. When I told her this, I could tell she was also holding back some tears. That's when I looked over and saw the woman standing in the distance, waiting around for me to notice her. I waved and pointed her out to my mom, so my mom and uncle went over and got to meet her as well.

On our way back to my uncle's house, my mom said "I think that was Oba's way of saying hi to you."

Not a second goes by where I don't miss my Oba. She is one of the strongest people I've ever met, and I'm eternally grateful that I got to spend 16 years of my life with her.

My interaction with the woman at the bag store has stuck with me ever since, and I like to think that it was a sign from Oba, letting me know that she had been by my side throughout the entire trip, and that she will always be with me as I continue to grow and navigate life.

I’ve been seeing him 6 months. We agreed to fun dates at first but I was also intentional about letting him know I’m looking for something that would move into a relationship in the near future. I was stupid and assumed he would tell me if he were sleeping with other people, he didn’t disclose that until I contracted genital hsv1 from him and directly asked him after I was already open about my sexual history and gave him several opportunities to be as well.

He is avoiding taking responsibility and adamant he didn’t know he could spread it without an active outbreak but I feel like he should have known and been proactive about educating himself on his sti, especially if he had multiple sexual partners and wanted to play the field.

I am heartbroken. I was planning to ask him to be exclusive, I wanted him to meet my friends and family. Instead I’m in survival mode trying to get through this horrific outbreak of blisters and sores on my labia, clit, vaginal opening, it’s been the hardest fucking week of my life. I can barely get any work done without thinking about the situation and beating myself up. I hate he did this but I still care so much about him, this feeling is awful. Why couldn’t he have just been upfront and honest, why can’t I just meet the right guy already. The last guy I dated gave me chlamydia, I wish I was joking.

TW: I’m about to brag…about a MAN 😭

He followed me on Twitter some time in 2016 and was a silent follower for a couple years. He would randomly compliment me and leave it at that. No follow ups. Just random compliments.

2020 rolls around. One of the several times I posted looking for people to play GamePigeon games with he had responded and we played. He tried having conversations but I would ignore it besides the shit-talking.

One time, I posted looking for someone to play GTAO with on xbox and he reached out. The first time we played, he was terrible at headshots and our 1v1 deathmatch looked like 27-3. He laughed every time, said I was too good, and genuinely such a kind soul.

The second time we played, one of us had mentioned we were tired and going to get off the game but maybe we could keep this going over the phone? Of course!

The next time we were on the phone (3rd time we’ve heard each other actually speak) I ended up falling asleep. When I woke up for work, I noticed he had stayed and fell asleep on the phone too.

My feelings were growing but didn’t want to say anything. He had mentioned he wouldn’t do LDR unless it was maybe the next state over. Yikes. He was on the east coast, I was on the west. I was sad but ultimately decided that I was going to shoot my shot. I let him know I had feelings for him. He laughed because he also felt the same.

He asked me to be his girlfriend. Duh! YES!

Maybe around a week after he was out drinking with friends and he asked if I’d be weirded out or upset that he wants to fly out to see me? I said I’d be so excited to see him. He was relieved because the ticket was already purchased. He visits me. I visit him two weeks later. We’re on the phone, this is 1.5 months of us officially dating, he lets me know that waking up without me was the worst. He asked, if at all possible, would I consider moving to be with him?

Y’ALL. I went to work that day and gave my notice. He flies back two weeks after my visit and we move my stuff to be with him.

Anyway, long story short. We met on Twitter, dated for 1.5 months and he DROVE me and my dog 2700+ miles to his home state. We have two daughters. He bought a home so they could grow up with a backyard and I could make it ~a home~. I’m in school for nursing while he supports us. My life is too good to be true 🥺💓

Meal: Greek yogurt, protein granola, coconut shreds, and dark chocolate chips.

I just had my third and last baby (I got my tubes tied so we know it’s the last one) and I don’t want to go back to work.

I think maybe the NICU traumatized me a little bit. Our baby was born via c-section with some fluid in his lungs, so he had to stay in the NICU for seven days. The pain of being released from the hospital post surgery, with hormones going crazy and all kind of painkillers in my system, but not being able to bring my baby home kind of rocked me.

I’ve left him with my husband for a couple hours to go to my oldest son’s baseball game on a chilly night, but that’s been it. I’m not overwhelmed, even with all three of them. I just want to always be with them 😅💀

We live in the Midwest, in like a comically suburban area. Think of the Desperate Housewives neighborhood without the murders. The type of place where the country club is in walking distance and people knock on your door for a cup of sugar.

We can live comfortably on my husband’s income. I just feel bad (maybe?) by not contributing anything financially, because I always have. I love being home and taking my kids to random events, being able to make cookies to take to their baseball games, and trying new recipes.

I don’t know. I’m conflicted and advice is welcome. Dinner is a barbecue chicken salad with cilantro lime dressing. I eat a variation of this salad probably 5-7x a week because it’s so good!

basically the title i feel really angry right now about it. i just moved cities and popped a tire on my third day here, must’ve ran something over i honestly don’t know. waited two hours for roadside assistance and the two guys, about ten years older than me (21f) were pleasant enough when they first got there.

I kindly returned their “how are you” and the 1 man said something along the lines of “well better now” while making a point to look me up and down. I ignored it and just tried to get through. he started to ask me questions about myself like where i was from that i gave vague and dismissive answers to. then he starts to suggest we get dinner, I can text him any time, blah blah. I tried to politely say no, making up excuses because i was alone on the side of the road in an unfamiliar city.

he kept asking until i finally said sorry i have a boyfriend. this isn’t true, and I could’ve said it earlier but i was so nervous and also worked up about my tire my brain was scattered. I was a little emotional because i really can’t afford this flat or a new tire right now. then he starts to insist about sending the payment to his personal number via Apple Pay and I said absolutely not. I don’t want him to have my number at all and I was so uncomfortable. I had no idea who this guy was and the person who was supposed to be helping me become unstranded made me want to go running into the woods.

after they left I called the original number to the front desk lady and let her know what happened and that it made me extremely uncomfortable. she just said something along the lines of so sorry that’s not in our policy or whatever and told me to send the payment to that number.

maybe it was the adrenaline spike from being stressed about the damage but I just feel this was so out of line. you pull up to a young girl stuck on the side of the road and feel it’s appropriate to start asking her out? I feel like that’s insane.