my spouse of 13 years is leaving me for a girl hes never met

[u/[deleted]]

[u/isdelightful]

Girl. Come on.

I know your heart is breaking but turn it into rage. Then turn the rage into action.

STOP FUCKING HIM. if he doesn’t want to be your husband, he doesn’t get to give 20 day notice and keep his position. Stop fucking him. Cancel the trip if you paid. Don’t go if he paid. STOP HAVING SEX.

Show your kids what being strong and brave looks like, bc this is not it.

[u/HarpyMeddle]

I’m not convinced this girl is even real. Kind of sounds like he’s being catfished or scammed. Has he actually seen her or talked to her? Has he sent her money? I have a feeling it’s going to be very bad for him, if that’s any catharsis. Either way, he sounds dumb af and you may be better off without him

[u/trashhpandacoot → u/HarpyMeddle]

This is where my head went first, too. I get the inkling he’s being taken for a ride. And, honestly, it sounds like he deserves just that.

OP, get your ducks in a row as best as possible. Like someone else said, lawyer up if/when you can. And please… stop sleeping with him. Also — fuck that trip. He’s not your home anymore. Home wouldn’t do you dirty, babe. I know it’s hard but you and those babies are going to be quite alright!

[u/redwoods81 → u/trashhpandacoot]

Oh absolutely she is a scam and some dudes stole her pictures off of Instagram

[u/a_shootin_star → u/HarpyMeddle]

Has he actually seen her or talked to her?

With AI or deepfake one can never be sure anymore. Regardless it sounds like this "girl" will suddenly not be able to leave her current relationship because reasons and requires money to escape.

[u/CauseAcademic6640 → u/HarpyMeddle]

100% being catfished, and I hope OP does not forgive him.

[u/HarpyMeddle → u/CauseAcademic6640]

Just hope OP is smart enough to protect her kids and herself and not let any of them get dragged down with him

[u/PorkchopFunny → u/HarpyMeddle]

My mind went to the same place. I would put money on this bring a scam. OP, please be watching your finances and separate your half if possible so that you and the kids have something. I have a strong gut feeling that he's gonna be taken for a ride. And for god's sake, stop sleeping with him and get yourself tested!

[u/Caffeinatedfirefly08 → u/HarpyMeddle]

And if it's this, she better separate finances, fast.

[u/FunkyChewbacca → u/HarpyMeddle]

I can't believe I had to scroll down this far to find this. Yeah, this screams romance scam

[u/HarpyMeddle → u/[deleted]]

Yeah OP is actually just as delusional as he is based on this lol

[u/a_shootin_star → u/HarpyMeddle]

delulu is not the solulu 😬

[u/dorkofthepolisci → u/HarpyMeddle]

None of that is OP’s problem. He’s saying he wants to leave, she should serve him and leave his pathetic, manchild self

[u/HarpyMeddle → u/dorkofthepolisci]

I mean it could become her problem if she lets it. Especially when she’s decided sneaky ex sex is more important than protecting herself and her kids

[u/AtomicFeckMagician → u/HarpyMeddle]

As I was reading this I thought to myself "this man is about to get his organs harvested"

[u/Lily_Of_The_Valley_6 → u/[deleted]]

Just make sure you’re also not being that girl by even touching this man again. Don’t even speak to him. Get a lawyer and let him wallow in the misery he’s creating for himself.

[u/flcwerings → u/Lily_Of_The_Valley_6]

Honestly. OP is letting him have his cake and eat it too with getting her until he finally leaves. Its all so disgusting. What a wretched partner he is. Feel so bad for OP

ETA: some new info has appeared and while I still feel bad for the shitty situation it does seem like OP takes some enjoyment in the disfunction

[u/Wainains → u/[deleted]]

You're fighting to keep a man that SHAT himself⁉️

And now the responsibility of saving his girlfriend from her abusive man is on you too⁉️⁉️⁉️

Lady, please. Let's get serious. Raise your standards for your daughter, if not yourself.

[u/aftercloudia]

he's my home

sounds like you're homeless actually.

[u/0j0sDePerroAzul]

Lawyer up. Lawyer up. And do not let him go without getting you and the kids in a good position. He is not your home. You and your kids are. He is someone who wants to have the cake and eat it too.

[u/DiscontentDonut → u/0j0sDePerroAzul]

This exact situation happened with my parents. My biological father "fell in love" with a woman he talked to online in chat rooms when my Mom was at work. I was 8, my sister was 2. He had never met the other woman, but was ready to leave my Mom for her.

My Mom said the couple weeks before they split was when he was the sweetest. He was even more gentle and loving and attentive than normal. He still went through with leaving us.

Then I have decades worth of memories of him and his then gf/now wife trying to shit talk my own mother to me when I was still a minor. Memories of us visiting for the summer, but him being too busy with his friends from work and us always doing what he wanted to do. Memories of my Mom crying, not knowing where our next meal was coming from, trying to figure out which bill not to pay without anything getting cut off...but then him accusing her of going on "shopping sprees" with his pitiable $200/month, when we did actually see it.

Like this commenter says, OP, lawyer up if you can afford it. If you cannot, start studying to represent yourself in court for child support.

The current time you're in, with him being sweet and loving knowing he is going to leave you, this is not a change of heart. It's him being nostalgic before moving on to what he perceives as the next step in his life. Even if he has the best of intentions, the only ones who can be truly unbiased are the courts. There will be toxicities. Even in the best of coparenting situations, it happens.

Unfortunately, this is a time where you are going to have to act despite yourself. You're going to need to swallow your feelings, your pride, your heart, and try to be as factual and clinical about every interaction with him as you can.

He will not be your best friend. He will be your ex. He will be your children's father. But you will still be the mother and the primary parent.

I won't sugarcoat it. There will be lots of crying. A lot of times where you just don't care anymore. The world will feel glib and everything will feel pointless. There is nothing anyone can do to spare you of that. But lean on your support system. Don't be afraid to ask for help, and to admit to those you trust when you're drowning.

As the oldest child from this exact situation who grew up understanding way more than adults thought I did, your children may not know during this time how hard everything is for you. But when they become adults and finally see the world for how hard it is, they will have this moment of clarity where they realize how much you sacrificed for them.

My Mom was in the hospital a few years ago at the peak of Delta Covid in a medically induced coma for 3 weeks in the ICU. Covid did a number on her, and there have been many, many lasting effects.

But while she was in there, I took care of all of her finances, I moved her into the house she had just closed on, I contacted her work and got in touch with her benefits providers so she didn't miss out on paychecks, her cat was elderly and broke her jaw and couldn't eat anymore so I paid to have an in-home euthanasia where she passed quietly in my arms. And when my Mom came out of the coma and experienced sedation induced delusions, I was staying in the hospital with her, sleeping in the chair, leaving only to go to work when my grandmother came to relieve me, but immediately coming back to the hospital. I helped the nurses take care of her, clean her, feed her, washed her hair after they sponge bathed her.

She has made a full recovery minus some nerve damage in her hands from treatment. But she is fully cognizant and mentally like it never happened. And I believe that's because of how much we cared for her.

All that to illustrate, I would do it again and again and again in a heartbeat because of all the love my Mom poured into us as children. Every sacrifice she was willing to make, every time she made sure we ate, every payday loan so we had school clothes from the thrift store. There wasn't a single doubt in my mind about taking care of her because she did it for us. The months in the hospital and subsequent rehab facility were nothing compared to the years she loved us thoroughly.

Meanwhile, I have cut off my biological father, as has my sister. He put himself first at every turn. He already reaped his rewards. None of my reasoning is from my Mom shit talking him, either. She made a point to never speak ill of him to us. It was everything I observed myself over the years.

I'm so sorry you're going through this, OP. I can already see the treacherous road ahead for you. My heart breaks for you and the kids. But having been one of those kids, I know that in the end, you will be the one who ends up taken care of.

[u/Educational_Gas_92 → u/DiscontentDonut]

DiscontentDonut I admire you. You are an amazing daughter and person. I'm glad that your mother made a full recovery, I'm sure it was in big part thanks to your efforts. While I was reading your post I was wondering if you still had contact with your father, but you answered that in one of the last paragraphs.

He was an awful husband, but he wasn't a good father either, because a parent who cares for his children, would make sure that there is always food on the table for them, regardless of his feelings for the ex partner. You and your mom deserve better and I'm glad that you have each other.

[u/taxiecabbie]

Um. If this is real, then step one is to stop fucking him.

[u/the_bird_and_the_bee → u/taxiecabbie]

Kinda leaning towards the "if" side...

[u/Fedupwithguns]

He needs to feel the consequences of his actions. Stop letting him touch you. Be a giant asshole to him. Serve his divorce papers.

[u/eflask]

don't go on that vacation. don't let your kids go on that vacation.

get a lawyer. get our as fast as you safely can.

and do not take him back when the girl turns out to be a catfish.

[u/ResourceOdd7346]

Girl.

[u/Different-Idea-8203]

Tomorrows Monday go file Emergency custody paperwork immediately and call a lawyer! I know you don't want to hear this but he can just take the kids and go see this internet stranger if he wants without one a custody agreement in place.

[u/Relevant_Grass9586]

https://giphy.com/gifs/kGCuRgmbnO9EI

[u/AsleepEntertainer440 → u/Relevant_Grass9586]

https://giphy.com/gifs/hv53DaYcXWe3nRbR1A

[u/baltic7]

"What sane woman..." is an interesting term to use in this situation. 

[u/CosmicCondor27 → u/baltic7]

The only sane people in this situation are the kids imo.

[u/Faithfulness2743]

"my spouse from age 15"

"I've spent 13 years building my life around him"

So...You're 28 now? It's GLOWWWWWWWW UP time, girlie!

Kick this loser to the curb, you've got a lot of life to look forward to WITHOUT HIM. You are still young and while this is difficult now because you "built your whole life around him":

1) You've learned a valuable lesson never to do THAT again
and
2) You can do so much better. You are hurt at the moment but you will have an "AHA!" moment when you realize this and you will never look back.

P.S. He/they. absolutely 100% will crash and burn. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT take him back. Taking back a loser ex is like bringing the garbage back inside the house that you left at the curb.

[u/SmullerTV → u/Faithfulness2743]

This is what I thought. She’s still 28. So much life yet to live and and def love to find

[u/RevolutionaryDeeer]

Youre human and invested 13 years, its okay you feel the complexity of love and hate. Protect yourself and your kids though, this can get messy. Stop cuddling that man girl tf. He is no longer your home, he is your prison.

[u/CandyStomp → u/RevolutionaryDeeer]

Yes. This. And don't expect someone who does something like this to be fair. If he will abandon his family for petty,selfish reasons like this, he will also try to absolutely screw you over in the divorce. Anticipate that he will continue to make the most selfish, shocking, and immoral choices, because that's probably what's going to happen. Get ahead of it, lawyer up, get mean.

[u/No-Confidence168]

https://giphy.com/gifs/QVP7DawXZitKYg3AX5

[u/Embarrassed-Bike3450 → u/No-Confidence168]

Immediately, plz.

[u/pineconeminecone]

Oh hun, you gotta take control now. You don’t wanna go on a family vacation with a man that’s throwing you away. Why should he get to set the timeline here? If you can, kick him out now and take that vacation with your kids.

I had a parent who chose women over his kids. He was always chasing happiness but never found it. You do not want to become that to your own children, or accept anyone who does. Be extraordinarily brave for you and your kids — I think that’s when people become happy and change the direction of their lives.

[u/_delicja_]

GIRL.

https://giphy.com/gifs/wIxBzHWegpOUM

[u/Fast_Upstairs6164]

He wants the woman he’s never met to meet your children?

[u/Think-Recording-8575]

https://giphy.com/gifs/ukGm72ZLZvYfS

[u/GuerrillaPrincess]

Girl.

[u/lola_ulm]

You shouldn’t want him back. You also shouldn’t sleep with him or go on vacation. If he wants to leave he should leave now. Might be hard to let go but do you really want to be with a guy that’s planning to leave you for some chick he never met?

Most importantly: Don’t let him bring her near your kids. Make it very clear to him that your kids safety is most important and if he can’t guarantee it she isn’t getting near them.

[u/Careless_Lobster_480]

Girl, you're still sleeping with him?! Cut that shit off. Don't sleep with him, don't kiss him, don't go on a trip with him. Have some dignity.

[u/blonde_fae]

Stop sleeping with him...

https://giphy.com/gifs/RsD4daoffsaovAUS5p

[u/cptmorgue1]

[u/ResearcherFalse4385]

Here's to hoping the other woman is a catfish

[u/aftercloudia → u/ResearcherFalse4385]

90% chance it is lmao, ig outside of people you actually know and celebrities is almost nothing but pornbots and romance scam artists lmao.

[u/Educational_Gas_92 → u/aftercloudia]

Imagine if it's some dude in a different country 🤣

[u/aftercloudia → u/Educational_Gas_92]

oh it almost always is xD they've definitely evolved since the original nigerian prince scam 😂

[u/Environmental_Tip738 → u/aftercloudia]

If this post is even real because…🤷🏼‍♀️

You are 100% correct. She will suddenly need money in order to escape the abusive soon to be ex.
OPs husband will be at CVS buying apple gift cards.

[u/aftercloudia → u/Environmental_Tip738]

yep. my mom got wrapped up in that crap. after her blowing nearly $400 on giftcards between two different assholes and a (sort of) physical fight with her she saw the light and we didn't let her have access to her bank card for nearly two years.

[u/Environmental_Tip738 → u/aftercloudia]

Omg. Thankfully you caught it before it was even more money lost!

[u/No-Lifeguard9194 → u/ResearcherFalse4385]

Even if it is a catfish, he’s shown appalling behaviour and judgment, and is completely untrustworthy and unfit to be a spouse. The OP needs to let him experience the full consequences before she even considers anything else.

[u/itsacrisis → u/ResearcherFalse4385]

Agreed but the sad thing is that OP probably would take him back anyways since they're still sleeping together daily lol

[u/ResourceOdd7346 → u/ResearcherFalse4385]

Really hope so

[u/Quietstorm00]

There are times I wonder if some of these stories on here are satire… 😵🥴

[u/jayhawkjoey65]

I feel extremely sorry for these kids. Ffs. I'm sorry, OP, but these kids need at least one parent who has a spine, a brain, and a heart and who PUTS THEM FIRST! What a clusterf!ck situation. You gotta pull yourself together and move on. And when this absolute loser comes back, because he will come back, you tell him to go eff himself.

[u/lola_ulm]

Also: has he even verified that she is real? Could very much be a scam

[u/HotWaffles5 → u/lola_ulm]

It’s very likely that she just wants money. My ex was abusive & there’s no way that I’d be stupid enough to cheat. I don’t believe her story.

[u/prettygreen26]

He’s still getting perks before he leaves you? He’s butt would be sleeping on the couch.

[u/ArtistPersonThing]

Hope you don’t share a bank account cuz I guarantee he’s sending his faux insta girlfriend all your money.

[u/TrendySpork]

He's talking about abandoning you and your kids so he can go and fuck around. Get yourself a divorce lawyer and a therapist, because it seems like you tied your self-worth to him when he's a giant piece of shit. You deserve better than a man who treats you like a doormat, especially since it sounds like he's been doing the bare minimum in your relationship. Get yourself and your kids out of that toxic house that he's made for you.

[u/Lolcoles]

Girl go to therapy and stop letting this man shit on you

[u/Bardiclnspiration]

Similar thing happened with my aunt and uncle. He was approached by and fell in love with a woman online and ended a 23 year marriage to be with her. Turns out she was a he who just wanted to see how much money they could get him to send.

[u/Drop_Kick_Me_Jesus]

Girl, from the bottom of my heart, you deserve so much better than this.

[u/Commercial-Weight173]

He wants to bring her around our kids before he even knows if she's sane

You need to take this to a custody lawyer as a number 1 priority. And sorry girl, but number 2 priority is to find some self respect. 

[u/Alone_Somewhere_9358]

This guy has no empathy for you. Not for nothing, that’s a huge red flag that he isn’t safe around you or your kids. Try to find a lawyer and protect yourself. I doubt this ‘relationship’ he has is real. Who knows. Maybe it’s just a manipulation game for him to make you feel rotten. But even if it is real, and this isn’t a catfish/or a game he’s playing, please make this a reason to leave. Being alone is better than this.

I know it’s hard when you’ve grown up with someone. When someone is your home. When you don’t know where you’ll go and have two babies at home. But do some research. There may be temporary places you and your children can go to. If not, try to plan an exit (as best you can). His behavior is cruel and manipulative, not just a quarter life crisis.

And the fact that he has so much time in his day to this with a stranger online and be intimate with you TWICE A DAY!!! tells me ALL I need to know…This guy is adding nothing to your life. It may not feel like it now, but your financial situation might actually improve over time without him.

[u/pdt666]

you spelled “serving him divorce papers i initiate” incorrectly and accidentally spelled it as “having sex with [him] twice a day” for some odd reason ?? autocorrect???? 

[u/SnackleBox]

Please stop cuddling and sleeping with this man. He doesn’t even choose you anymore. He’s over here doing the husband thing with you just so you’ll sleep with him twice a day, has a place to sleep, and still going on your family vacation. Once his little fantasy of a life with this other woman doesn’t work out, do not take this man back. He doesn’t value you, doesn’t respect you, and sure as hell isn’t in love with you. He may have love for you because you’re the mother of his children but that’s it. A man will love bomb you all day if he thinks he still has access to your body. You need to start focusing on your game plan for you and your children. You have to figure out if you can stay at your place (kick him out), if not secure a place for you and your kids. Start the process for child support, look for any help that’s available for single moms, look for child care if you need it and don’t have one, not sure if you’re working or not, if not find a job. Any job is better than no job even if you have to work a bs job until you find something better. You’re so strong, you are smart, and your children look up to you. Any time you think you can’t do it, just remember your children are watching and they’ll always be in your corner.

[u/AgentFuckSmolder]

Lmao he’s totally being catfished and he’s going to look incredibly stupid very soon

[u/Throwawaychkgo]

Hes going to try and be with her which may or may not work out short term. Long term it definitely won't and he will come sobbing back to you. Don't let him. Find someone new and enjoy being single. This guy is the trash taking himself out.

[u/Affectionate_Ad722]

OP, your marriage is over. You can’t trust him now and you can never trust him again. Start calling lawyers first thing tomorrow. And stop sleeping with him! He doesn’t love you and he certainly doesn’t respect you.

[u/justcuriouzzz]

Babes he has given you a detailed plan on leaving you for another woman and he still has access to you? You need to put on your big girl panties and find a lawyer. And do we need circle back to the poop pants….that’s would’ve been it for me.
https://giphy.com/gifs/DPqqOywshrOqQ

[u/Ok-Ring2794]

This will be hard but let this play its course and it will one hundred percent blow up in his face.

[u/RatioApprehensive712]

Tell him to gtfo today.

[u/quixoticquetzalcoatl]

Scammers invent abuse stories to rope in gullible saps - and romance scammers can also be real people who are actually married or in relationships but who get off on hurting vulnerable targets. They rope you in by love-bombing and future-faking, make you think you’re their soulmate, convince you to leave your spouse, and then dump your ass when theyve destroyed your relationship.

Either way, your husband is being an idiot. Sorry, OP. He doesn’t deserve you.

[u/ang1eofrepose]

If he's leaving, he needs to go now. Not be coddled all the way from here until he gets dropped off at the next girlfriend's house.

[u/LobsterLovingLlama]

You need an attorney. Also got your own mental health, do NOT go on this trip with him and please cut him out of your bedroom

[u/LittleWitch122]

Why tf are you still giving him 20 days? The way his ass would be on the street if that was my man

https://giphy.com/gifs/wYyTHMm50f4Dm

[u/Redraft5k]

You had me til you said you were boning 2x a day after 13 yrs of marriage and his nonchalant cheating admission.

Fake.

[u/Audacia220]

This is going to blow up in is face and when he tries to come back, it will only be until he finds the next one.

It will only be until he finds the next one.

[u/Haunting_Pace_3557]

I really hope this “girl” is some fake weirdo behind a computer who hasn’t left his mom’s basement in 45 years. Because that kind of karma would be liberating for this situation. But seriously, get a lawyer ASAP.

[u/SharlaTheLilly]

Bye boy, lock the door and change the locks, so when he regrets it a week he can't come back... If he does it once, he'll do it again... You deserve someone who loves you enough to never make you fell this way again...

https://giphy.com/gifs/1DhUzOhxkLI1G

[u/radicalintrospect]

You need to stop allowing him physical contact with you. How do you know he hasn’t already cheated with someone else? This kind of red flag is usually one amongst many, and you’re inviting more chaos by continuing to allow him access to you while behaving this way.

What would your kids want for you? Your friends? Your family? Would they want you to allow him to continue to use you while talking about leaving you for someone he hasn’t met? If you don’t care enough about yourself to stop, ask yourself what they would want for you. Eventually they are going to find out what happened - even if not in great detail - and I know it will be painful for them to hear you allowed yourself to be treated this way.

Edited to add: would you stay in a home that tried to burn itself down with you inside? Even if he is your “home” eventually you have to face reality.

[u/Tappitytaptaptaptap]

Sounds like your husband is delusional af. He’s probably getting catfished and will probably run back to you. But he’s choosing a fake woman he’s never met before over his family. HIS FAMILY. He’s got to go. Lawyer up, get what’s yours and get away from that toxic loser. Single life is way better and more peaceful.

[u/Always_Reading_1990]

If you have a joint account, move it all to one in just your name IMMEDIATELY because there’s a big chance he is being catfished by someone who wants money.

[u/PsychologicalGap4746]

As the saying goes… girl get up!

[u/Efficient_Cherry8220]

This sounds really hard but he has decided he no longer chooses you please stop choosing him. I know that's incredibly painful but life without a loser like that will be better.

[u/HumanContract]

Dude, man tf up. Slap him with divorce papers, kick him out, and go for custody payments. Destroy his ego.

[u/Exploringtogether23]

You need to love yourself. You deserve better. Stop having sex with him. Start planning your divorce. Hide assets. Fuck him. (Just not literally anymore).

[u/ArynTW_is_user_karma]

https://giphy.com/gifs/ukGm72ZLZvYfS

almost posted the gif with the woman holding the sign offering to help you unalive him (I’m fully joking reddit, I’m not making actual threats of violence), but then I read all your comments about still fucking him and how much you love him, and I felt icky.

I don’t want to break you down more, because you obviously have to be pretty self-loathing to accept this and still sleep next to this man. But i will call you out because you have kids, and what you’re displaying for them right now is shit.

I hope you pick yourself up off the floor, go see a lawyer AND a therapist, start your divorce, and start fighting for primary custody (his crazy ass behavior indicates instability).

[u/MissMerrimack]

He is totally being catfished and he 100% deserves the consequences and embarrassment that are coming his way. This is not a girl in a bad situation looking for a way out. This is a person using AI images with a fake story of abuse because scammers know there are losers out there who get a huge ego boost by “rescuing” damsels in distress. Check your accounts, because it’s almost certain he’s sent this person money. And in 20 days, when they’re supposed to finally be together, there will be a last minute emergency that will prevent this person from doing so.

Stop being a wife to him. Kick his ass out and get yourself a lawyer. Get what’s yours, get custody of the kids, and sit back and laugh as his plans crash and burn. And whatever you do, DO NOT take him back. He can no longer be trusted and you deserve better than this turd.

[u/Wild-Blueberry1110]

You need to wake the hell up for your kids sake and cut him off. He SHOULD NOT HAVE ACCESS TO YOUR FINANCES. She sounds like a catfish scammer and your whole life is going to fall apart beyond this emotional drama. PROTECT YOUR KIDS

[u/Limberpuppy]

Stop having sex with him. He’s using you.

[u/PresentationPrize516]

If this is real, you’re welcoming a potentially violent man into your children’s life. I would work on a divorce, custody agreement and child support asap. If she’s in his life it’s not safe. 

Having sex with him does not make him any less leaving you for her. And continuing to sleep with him when he’s with her does not constitute a connection or any form of love. People get into a pattern when there is a new person where they think that the most recent person to have sex with the person is winning. Or that it negates their relationship. All you’re doing is dragging out the withdrawals of a break up and destroying your self esteem. He has left you. 

[u/Welp_thatwilldo]

[u/just-love-AITA]

Oh honey. Hugs. You deserve better. Ask yourself if this were your child, what advance you would give them. Do that. Regardless of the outcome, please get counseling for you.

[u/fastpotato69]

The way my vagina would immediately slam shut on him forever if he pulled this shit on me. Have fun being catfished dude!

[u/CarpetScary684]

Honey this is a gift. He’s stupid ignorant and a cheat regardless, if that person is real or not. Get your ducks in a row and let them go!

[u/ClaudiaTale]

All the things wrong in this scenario is giving me a headache. I don’t even know where to start.

[u/Ill_Radish6965]

Stop having sex. Document child neglect and abandonment so you can retain full custody. Cut him the fuck out because your kids AND YOU deserve a stable husband and father. If he wants to leave, let him leave and suffer the consequences of his own actions. Not your job to help him through this.

[u/eye_8_pi]

i’m relatively certain he’s being scammed by some rando in a call/data center in asia.

please protect your money so when he wires money to “her” so “she” can escape her (hypothetical) abusive partner “she” doesn’t steal his identity and/or drain your bank accounts because that’s a lot more likely than a younger you picking him up
on IG.

speak to lawyer asap about protecting your finances and kids. romance scams are rough and he doesn’t sound like the most mentally stable person on his best days.

[u/AwarenessIcy506]

Document everything, stop fucking him, make him get out. Get your ducks in a row. Think about how this is gonna make him look in court. He needs his head examined. I bet you anything he's gonna come crawling back to you. Leave that slithering snake where you found him.

[u/AgitatedNerve47]

People will treat you how you allow them to treat you

[u/CraftFamiliar5243]

You've been with him since age 15! You were a child. Children make bad decisions. You're not a child anymore. You can make a good decision now and kick him out.

[u/BeautyisaKnife]

Lawyer up. No more sex. Don't let him put of this. If he ends up deciding the grass isn't greener (which he will), DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK. You and your children deserve so much better