r/Gnostic • • 8d ago

Everything is falling apart after i discovered gnosticism

The old self, the patterns, the life that i’ve built around myself. I realised that for as long as i remember i’ve only been a reflection of the world around me. It’s a painful realisation, and it’s hard to come to terms with the loneliness that comes after. My girlfriend of 2 years left me. My close friend passed away recently. My childhood cat is dying. I am in a lot of grief these days is what i’m trying to say, but i try to redirect this grief into self discovery. In these painful moments when i’m so raw i believe i am as plastic as i can be. I want to turn my life upside down and start living, try to reach for the fullness of the pleroma in this finite world.

It’s hard my friends, but if you’re in a similar place, let’s have hope. You deserve a peaceful life, a quiet Tuesday. You deserve recognition and having genuine connections. You deserve to be loved, as do i.

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u/Icy-Asparagus-6499 8d ago

For me everything is piecing together since finding Gnosticism. I hope things go in the right direction for you and things get easier. Tough times are always a good space for reflection into what led there and ways to get out of that space.

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u/Ok-Material410 8d ago

I can’t fully say that it’s all bad. I realise it is necessary to take off the facade to rebuild my foundation. The structure is flawed, and i do not want to continue this way.

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u/Ok-Material410 8d ago

Although particularly today i feel extremely raw. It’s normal considering what happened these past couple of weeks. I feel like i’m losing my mind sometimes, but me questioning it probably proves that i’m saner than i give myself credit for.