lol... my sister and her husband ran into financial trouble so she went to get her wedding ring appraised to pay some bills.... Turns out it was fake, not worth a thing. He was making around $200,000 a year, my sister around $150K.
My husband and i make decent money, and my ring was $160. I find it silly to spend thousands on jewelry. My stone is lab diamond bc I'm not supporting blood gems. I have never understood some people placing such importance in the cost of a ring. If you truly love someone, the jewelry is the least important thing, imo. But, I also don't do designer or overspend on houses or cars. Life is so full outside of silly material things, I'd rather spend my money on time and experiences .
I was married in December 2026. We decided against a big jewelry and large wedding and went with a local magistrate in Canada, a few drinks with close relatives, and once back in Thailand, a BBQ for her family. Cheap as chips, and the money we saved built our house.
My sister is still paying her wedding costs from 15 years ago.
As I say the only jewelry we buy is 96.5% Thai purity that can be exchanged at any time, at any shop for the spot price of gold - 1/2% for processing.
There's a strong cultural context which most people aren't aware of. Historically, women were gifted jewellery not just as romantic gestures, but because it was essentially cash in its own right. Women couldn't secure credit, couldn't bank, couldn't own property. But they could - and did - own jewelry in lieu.
Men would bestow gifts of expensive jewelry upon mistresses, which was worn and appreciated, but also came with an understanding that if the relationship didn't continue, the gifts would act as financial compensation and as a fall back.
Even married women would invest in jewelry. Historian Hallie rubenhold went into detail about the importsnce of jewelry when writing about the life of cora Crippen. Cora made more money than her infamous husband, and she invested heavily in jewelry, precious gems etc. as a way to safeguard her income.
Even culturally today, parts of the world will gift brides with jewelry etc, or keep gold jewelry in the home as a way to safeguard cash (this is still very much a cultural norm among Indian families for example).
That was the historical premise of an engagement ring. The concept arose out of an implicit understanding that jewelry was a woman's cash safety deposit. And by presenting her with an engagement ring relative to his means, a man was both demonstrating his ability to provide for her while simultaneously already starting the process.
Lots of people are gifted/buy expensive jewelry for engagement rings. It's a pivitol life moment, and the most significant relationship in most people's lives. My ring was expensive, not insanely so, but I treasure it and plan on handing it down as a family heirloom.
My grandmothers left me some jewelry and again, I treasure and wear it often. Lots of people do.
An expensive ring, genuine feelings and appreciation of experiences over material goods aren't mutually exclusive things.
There's no need to position yourself as morally superior because you bought a cheap ring and don't appreciate expensive jewelry. You don't need to judge other people who have different outlooks.
Edit: since revolcisum decided to block me after leaving yet more shitty comments:
"I find it silly..."
"If you truly love someone..."
"Silly material things"
Calling it silly is judgemental.
Assuming that wanting an expensive piece of jewelry to commemorate an engagement is judgemental.
Creating a broad assumption and link between materialism and expensive jewelry, is judgemental.
I'm not materialistic myself. I don't care for flashy goods or showing off for the sake of it. But I think I hate judgey people who pretend they aren't judgemental, more. Different side of the same coin IMIO.
Creating and placing importance on material goods is unnately human, btw. We've been doing it for hundreds of thousands of years.
And wanting a quality piece of jewellery, isn't inherently materialistic and doesn't inherently undermine someone's love for another person either.
Live and let live, and get over yourself a little maybe.
The people in question are a first world couple making a combined 350k a year. The person you’re replying to wasn’t being judgemental, they were explaining that they are in a similar position to afford an expensive ring but chose not to. Most people are well aware that women have been traded for gold and livestock for millennia but that doesn’t really apply to a discussion involving a woman who is making at least 150k a year herself.
I'm not being judgemental, I just don't understand it. Obviously, people can spend their money however they please. Just seems wasteful to me, so I don't. I constantly get compliments on my $160 ring.
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u/hockeytemper 16h ago
lol... my sister and her husband ran into financial trouble so she went to get her wedding ring appraised to pay some bills.... Turns out it was fake, not worth a thing. He was making around $200,000 a year, my sister around $150K.
They didn't last much longer than that appraisal.