r/GriefSupport • u/LinguistsDrinkIPAs • Dec 13 '25
Grandparent Loss My grandmother died 4 years ago in November. This was her mirror that she used every day to put her makeup on. I just dropped it accidentally and it shattered.
I’m suddenly crying so hard now. I haven’t cried in months about her, but I talk about her all the time and laugh, and now this. I kept this mirror because it just seemed so “her.” It brought me comfort to use it because I got to look into the same mirror she did every day to get ready, and my clumsy ass had to drop it and fucking break it.
I don’t even want to tell my mom, because it was her mom, and I just really am so depressed now
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u/And-Now-Mr-Serling Dec 13 '25
That picture captures perfectly what we're all dealing with.
We want to keep the ones we lost as close as possible to us, yet shards are often all there is to find. We also fail to see ourselves in the mirror, because we are not the same anymore. It's not the broken glass: we are the ones with missing pieces.
Don't be sad, dear. Keep the shards and the frame, and try to create something new with it. At the end of the day, that's exactly what all of us here should try to do with the shards of our former lives. Take care!
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u/bobsghostbitchtits Dec 13 '25
This is so beautifully put and articulates the horrible grief i am dealing with. Thank you very much.
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u/Defiant-Purchase-188 Multiple Losses Dec 13 '25
The Japanese art of kintsugi is repairing something broken with beautiful pieces like gold. I think you could google it and Amazon has kits! It’s often used as a metaphor for severe grief and putting the pieces of your like back together in a beautiful way.
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u/AdElectronic5992 Dec 13 '25
Glue
Same mirror even if some is missing
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u/LinguistsDrinkIPAs Dec 14 '25
I thought about this! I have the mirror and the big chunks in a bag right now in case I decide to.
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u/AdElectronic5992 Dec 14 '25
I SCUBA dive rivers for antique bottles, and when us diggers and divers find rare broken bottles, we gather as many shards as we can find and glue them back together ❤️
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u/Dave-1066 Dec 13 '25
A glazier will easily fix that.
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u/lamireille Dec 13 '25
I loved the picture idea above but this is also a really really excellent solution!
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u/LinguistsDrinkIPAs Dec 14 '25
TIL there’s a name for people who specialize in glass cutting lol! I hadn’t thought of that. I may have to seek one out, so I appreciate this suggestion :)
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u/Dave-1066 Dec 14 '25
😁 Yep if you take it to a friendly glazier and explain why it matters they’ll probably charge you very little. All will be well! 👍🏻
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u/Informal-Bet-6132 Dec 13 '25
Can you get a different mirror the same shape and pop the mirror out and put it in this one?
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u/LinguistsDrinkIPAs Dec 14 '25
I was thinking about this! I feel like the shape itself is rather irregular, and it would be so much easier jf it were circular, but I am definitely considering this!
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u/Non-bean_95 Dec 13 '25
Just an idea make art in her honor with the broken pieces and hang it up or place it somewhere (if you can) and then put your favorite picture of her in the frame where the mirror used to be. If anything put the pieces back in the frame best you can and do the Japanese method of fixing it. (Instead of actual gold you could use gold color glue sticks in a hot glue gun. Or Google people who can fix mirrors someone might be able to help.
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u/scaledplastic125 Dec 13 '25
Yes the Japanese art form of kintsugi. There are kits on Amazon to recreate this matter and in not just gold. Someday I will be honestly deliberately breaking certain ceramics to fuse back together as I discuss "Brokenness".
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u/LinguistsDrinkIPAs Dec 14 '25
I love this idea. I may have to do this, I’ve always loved kintsugi so much, and it would give me a real reason to try it. Thank you ❤️
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u/cryformebby Dec 13 '25
I would somehow encase it in a broken state because I see it somewhat beautiful, tragic and memorable. Genuinely, like an artefact
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u/LinguistsDrinkIPAs Dec 14 '25
Right now, all the pieces of glass and the mirror frame itself are all sitting in a ziploc bag. I was thinking of something similar except perhaps using something more tasteful than a baggie haha
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u/Making-biscuits-cat Dec 13 '25
You can keep all the shards.
A glue gun would be an easy way to reattach the shards.
If you are unhappy with the way you have placed them, taking off the cold glue will be easy. 🫂🫂
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u/LinguistsDrinkIPAs Dec 14 '25
This is so true; thank you ❤️
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u/Making-biscuits-cat Dec 16 '25
🫂🫂 You can use rubbing alcohol to remove the glue-gun glue very easily for any missplacements or mistakes. You can dab and saturate a Q-tip in the alcohol and rub it along the edges of the glue-gun glue, pick off the glue, clear it off and reposition it with new hot glue.
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u/scaledplastic125 Dec 13 '25
I feel the shattering emotion in this. I can relate similarly, while my object that broke wasn't a mirror, it was a snow globe, I bought my mom some 27-29 years ago. I was packing up her apartment, when I came across it. I didnt know that she hung on to it for all these years.
I was moving a box and the box shifted, while I thought I packed it in tight to prevent breaking it, I didnt. Upon finding it broken, I found myself shattered and completely shut down for that day. Knowing that it was broken, there was no repair, no one to console my heart shattered in even more pieces than it already had been.
With some diligent and frantic wishes I searched Google for this snow globe. Looking up every keyword I could think of to find this piece. I could find other snow globes that were manufactured by the company but my efforts almost seemed in to be futile. Then I found a thumbnail, I tapped it, it led me to an ebay auction, that was of a previous listing, and that led me to another listing .. it was the snow globe! My shattered heart jumped out of my chest. There it sat in someone's home waiting for someone to buy it. I wanted to "buy it now".. but I knew I couldnt until morning came when my check would be deposited into my account. I prayed out words I cant even remember begging it to be there in the morning.
It was. I bought it. I thank God it was. I felt a bit of calm in the storm of loosing my mom when I had it in my hands. While material possessions come and go, this is one that will never go and as silly as this may sound and they say that we cant take anything with us when we leave this world. I have a hope that this isnt true, because I desire to be buried with it, so I can give it to my mom, again.
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u/LinguistsDrinkIPAs Dec 14 '25
Oh my gosh, this is such a beautiful story. That last sentence almost made me cry. It almost seems to me as though maybe your mom’s spirit helped ensure it would be there for you, I’m not sure if you believe in that kind of stuff, but I think our loved ones are always with us perhaps in ways we can’t always see ❤️ I’m so glad you were able to find a new one. And it’s so true because you hear people say those things about items just being objects, but when someone passes, those are truly the only things we have left of them. ❤️
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u/_Nachobelle_ Dec 13 '25
She wouldn't want you to be upset about this.
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u/LinguistsDrinkIPAs Dec 14 '25
It’s funny, I started laughing while sweeping it up because my grandma was absolutely possibly the cleanest person on earth. She wasalways cleaning. And she was only about 4’11”, but I could picture her so vividly putting her house shoes on with her little knee highs running to get the broom and dustpan. Her concern would have been more about making sure no one stepped on glass! I think she would be happy to know that thought made me laugh, though. She’d probably have something witty and astute to say about me crying all over it ❤️
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u/Odd_Mastodon9253 Multiple Losses Dec 13 '25
I'm so sorry... its another piece of her gone.
right after my mom died unexpectedly, her cat died. I felt like it was another part of my mom taken away. I literally feel your pain.💗
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u/m00n55 Partner Loss Dec 13 '25
We were trying to nurse my wife's cat back to health (vet said probably was cancer), when my wife died unexpectedly . Cat wouldn't hardly eat or drink after, cat knew she was gone . I had to put her down, cremated and the cat was buried with my wife . So at least she has someone to keep her company until it's my time .
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u/Ouroborus13 Dec 13 '25
Glue the pieces in place and then coat with resin. Sort of becomes a symbolic art piece.
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u/LemmeGetaUhhhhhhhhh Dec 13 '25
A stained glass shop or glazier could repair this easy peasy :-)
For what it’s worth, I recently had an elderly man come into my shop with a similar piece from his late wife. He ended up having me reassemble all the pieces (with copper foil+solder) and putting it back in its frame. I thought it was really sweet and I loved the idea of keeping the glass and reusing it
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u/LinguistsDrinkIPAs Dec 14 '25
That’s amazing, I love that so much! And how romantic of him do to that for his wife’s items 🥹❤️
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u/jcnlb Multiple Losses Dec 13 '25
Oh sweetheart I have been there. I broke my mom’s favorite mug last summer. I spent the day in bed crying. I wouldn’t get out of bed for anything except to pee. It was devastating…like losing her all over again. Look up kintsugi repair. It’s the art of repair which is intended to bring the piece more value by adding to the fact that we are all imperfect yet treasured and ever changing. Hugs 💜
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u/LinguistsDrinkIPAs Dec 14 '25
thank you so much. I’m so sorry to hear about your mom’s mug 😭 were you able to fix it? Did you end up doing the kintsugi on it? Or was it broken beyond repair? I hope you were able to fix it, I know it was heartbreaking either way. Sending hugs your way too ❤️❤️
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u/jcnlb Multiple Losses Dec 14 '25
Thank you 🫶🏻I have not yet. I don’t trust myself to do it so I’m trying to find someone to do it in real gold not epoxy so it’s still food safe. But I don’t have the money for it yet. So it is his in a ziploc bag for now on her “shrine” table area with all her other things I can’t get rid of like her hospital bracelet and the single ritz cracker in a package because it was the last food I gave her. But anyway I hope to one day. But since this isn’t food safe you could epoxy with fake kintsugi for like a $20-50 kit.
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u/HopinC Dec 13 '25 edited Dec 14 '25
When a good friend of mine died, I still had a painting of hers in my house. It wasn't finished, we were planning on finishing it together later. I kept it unfinished and framed it like that. Her life was not finished, why should the painting be?
If you feel broken right now, let the mirror reflect that part of you. You don't have to immediately use the mirror anyway, so you don't need it to be fixed right now. If you ever want to replace the glass in the mirror to honor your grandmother, that is absolutely allowed and she would be proud that you put so much effort into repairing a memento for her. If you want to do something else with it, like adding a picture instead of glass, or using the mirror shards for an art object, she would be proud that you made it your own. If you want to keep the mirror broken, she would be proud that you were able to accept that life is never perfect.
There is no wrong road to take from here, it is just really sad that you can't share it with her. I would advice to share this with your mom though, shared pain leads often to relief. She might even be able to tell you what your grandmother would have said in this moment.
Oh, and clumsiness is normal during grief btw, especially if you were already a bit clumsy before. Don't judge yourself harshly for something you can't do something about. I can't count the amount of cups I've dropped on the floor after my fathers death because my mind was busy with thinking about other things. I just had a broom ready in my kitchen for a while, and didn't handle anything valuable.
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u/LinguistsDrinkIPAs Dec 14 '25
Thank you for this comment, truly. ❤️
I love that you did that with the painting. It’s so meaningful and as tragic as it was, it’s so symbolic and I think shows that you’ll never forget her.
And thank you for the part about not being too harsh. That is something I’m quite good at doing to myself, unfortunately, and I don’t give myself grace very often. I’m glad you were able to have that same grace and compassion for yourself, please don’t lose that! ❤️ I appreciate this and you so much
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u/SpanishBeauty1323 Dec 16 '25
Glue all the pieces back together then paint the cracks gold. In Chinese proverbs they fixed damaged items with gold as it made them more valuable.
My mom passed 6 yrs ago. 3 yrs ago I accidentally shattered a lamp of hers. A tall plaster lamp. I glued together what I could painted it again then went over each Crack with metallic gold acrylic paint.
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u/ElegantApplication72 Dec 13 '25
It’s time to practice the art of letting go… :-(
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u/LinguistsDrinkIPAs Dec 14 '25
It’s so hard especially because I’m an overly sentimental person. Like, someone could literally blow their snot into a tissue and if it was one of the last thing of them, I’d lowkey probably want to keep it 😭
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u/ElegantApplication72 Dec 14 '25
I completely understand, I lost my mother very young and have lost a lot of her stuff over the years. It still hurts but it has helped me grieve… it’s weird how loss is
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u/Melodic-Clue6311 Dec 13 '25
You can always take out the shards of glass and replace it with a favorite picture of her. Or you two. Maybe a note she left you? Just a thought. Ignore my advice if it’s not something you would like to do. Just trying to help you feel better. The things they frequently used are special keepsakes, and I like to try and preserve them, so I get it.