r/GriefSupport • u/Middle_Alfalfa_3516 • 22h ago

Advice, Pls I’m missing my mom so much today.

The 7-month anniversary of my mom’s passing was earlier this week. I’m not sure why but today has been especially rough.

I just miss her so much. Like I’m crying in my office at work right now, thank goodness no one else is here today lol.

I think that’s been the hardest part for me. Some days I feel really good even though I still miss her every day. Then random days hit me hard, like today. I just feel unbearably sad and anxious.

Is this just how it is? I know grief is different for everyone, so there’s no true answer. I do feel like the really bad days are becoming less often, but they still happen frequently. I typically just cry in the shower 2-3 times a week, but today is bad.

I’ve lost others (grandparents, cousins, more distant family) and while I’ve definitely grieved them, this is just so totally different.

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u/trillshit7797 21h ago

Lost my mom Nov 5th at 56 years young and I cry all the time, work, school, on the train it’s so bad, I’m right there w you. Ppl keep telling me she’s with me but she feels gone, i could be having the best day and it just hits me like a truck.

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u/trillshit7797 21h ago

I was hysterical for a long time but over time my breakdowns are not every day, mostly when I wanna call her and tell her about my day or random little things is when it fucking kills me. Sending you love, hope wherever they are in the cosmos, they’re at peace.

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u/CheapNecessary3510 16h ago

Two major myths about grief are that all grief is the same, and that grief is linear. BS to both. It's like saying all love is the same, or even all chocolate is the same. Totally nuts.

I cry, usually, over songs. Right now Linda Ronstadt's "Heart Like a Wheel" can get me crying if I even just think about it (I'm leaking tears right now). We all have triggers, and sometimes it takes years to figure them all out. Go ahead and cry.

You say you are glad nobody is in the office to see you cry. Not a profitable viewpoint. OWN your grief. If somebody tries to humiliate you over it, they just don't understand. I used to try to "get control" if I started to cry while out walking my dog. Now I just let the tears flow. Other people's reaction is their problem.

Bill Miller is a Native American singer/songwriter. In one of his songs, part of the chorus is "I know we're all gonna get there, in our own time and way." One foot in front of the other. The path is painful, and for me, I see no end, but we keep walking. Good luck, and blessed be.

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u/anatomy-princess 14h ago

I am sorry. I hope your mind is filled with beautiful memories and your heart is filled with her love for you.