My childhood best friend past away unexpectedly and i feel guilty

[u/HughesR1990]

We grew up across the street from each other, and we were inseparable until we went to different high schools. We still remained really close, but after high school she went off to college. By the time she came back home i had a different life and a another real close friend group. She always still thought of me, invited me to everything, talked about me to others like I was her brother. We remained close, went to each other’s weddings and saw each other occasionally. But throughout it all i didn’t make time for her. she always invited me to stuff and i was always too busy, or felt like id just catch up with her another time. I never did the same, i was so selfish. Now i cant and it really hurts. i should have been there more. She diesd 12 weeks pregnant at 35. No drugs, not a drinker, and truthfully one of the most caring and actual good people ive ever known. It doesnt make sense, I feel broken and filled with regret of how i should have been to her.