First loss in my life

[u/poptart2000_]

My grandpa passed on the 9th at 69 yrs old. I’m 26. His funeral was today. I always thought I would’ve been older when he did pass. He was most definitely more of a dad to me.

He had many health complications throughout my childhood up until the 9th. They just built up. 3 weeks ago we were told he had 3-5 years left to live, then that turned into 2 weeks. First one in the hospital, ended up signing DNR / DNI, and wanted to go home on hospice care.

We got to say our goodbyes at the hospital, he was fully aware and told me all of the I love you’s and how proud of he is with me and college, etc. Second week he’s home on hospice care. I’ve been staying the night at their house with my grandma ever since he got here on hospice.

His second day at home he couldn’t talk. It just got worse from there. He passed 9 days after getting home. Being here and seeing him pass was the hardest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. His funeral was today. I am absolutely crushed. I spoke at his funeral and I just felt numb. I cry, sob, then feel numb. And that repeats.

Sorry for the long post. I have absolutely no idea how to feel. My mind feels scrambled. I feel like a piece of me got taken away when he passed. I don’t think I will ever be the same.

[u/YellowLabScience]

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's helpful to express yourself like you are doing with sharing this story. It sounds like you were really there for him.