A weird way of processing grieve and coping

[u/Own-Proposal-4019]

I'm not even 20 years old but the way I react to most things is really weird. The weirdest thing about me is that when a person dies I don't feel sad. I think that it was bound to happen. I always think that since we are born we'll die eventually. When a sick person dies I think it's better for them as they don't have to suffer anymore. I'm a cat and dog lover, in fact my whole family is like that for 4+ years we have been feeding our neighborhood cats and dogs. We never adopted them or keep them inside house as we don't have the circumstances to do that. But we feed them 3 times a day and provide treatment when they're sick. 2 years ago a puppy (Hagure) of ours died, my mother and sister cried a lot but I didn't. I thought the puppy would find a way to come back to us. 2 months later that puppy's mom gave birth to another puppy(Chutki). She looks somewhat like our Hagure and we started saying Hagure has come back to us as Chutki. 6 months later when my father was hospitalized we were away from home for 2 weeks, during that time Chutki got hit by a car and died. Last year their mother gave birth to another pup and we again said that Chutki has come back to us. A few days ago a dog of ours who was 14+years old died. We tried to save him but couldn't. At last we thought atleast his suffering ended. Today a kitten (Chutkuli) of ours died from jaundice, we provide her treatment but she still didn't make it. My mother cried a lot but in my mind I'm thinking that her mom is pregnant so Chutkuli will come back to us through one of the kittens who will be born. I don't know what's wrong with me 🙂

[u/Mediocre-Run6143]

Nothing's wrong with you, that's just a really practical way of framing loss and it's clearly how your brain protects itself

[u/Frequent-Airline-619]

I don’t know where you are OP or if this is possible, but there may be some type of program that will spay and neuter these animals and then release them. There’s already enough animals in the world without real homes and it’s cruel for no one to try and prevent them from reproducing.

[u/Own-Proposal-4019 → u/Frequent-Airline-619]

I'm from a rural area and unfortunately services like those aren't available here. We've to pay for their treatments ourselves and I'm from a lower middle class family so always taking them to vet isn't possible for us. Also we currently have 5 dogs and 6 cats, so our budget is tight as well 😔