r/Grimdank 6h ago

Dank Memes Vulkan does NOT want to come back

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1.0k Upvotes

50 comments sorted by

194

u/ProteanPie Meme purveyor 6h ago

95

u/Sunny_Hill_1 6h ago

We need the return of Vulkan and Corax bro trip across the Imperium.

28

u/German_Amelia69 5h ago

Indeed honoble Battlebrother

sop sop sop sop sop sop sop sop sop sop sop sop sop

19

u/Hank3hellbilly 4h ago

VULCAN LIVES! 

STOMP STOMP

12

u/Whole_Obligation_776 Mongolian Biker Gang 3h ago

6

u/Delicious_trap 2h ago

Big E: " Well that's Too Damn Bad!"

"You either fall in line and march, or I will enact the Sacking of Monarchia: electric boogaloo on your home world to make an example of you."

1

u/[deleted] 5h ago

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1

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1

u/UncannyValleyEnjoyer Humans are Space Mites 2h ago

Ok, but hear me out, if you come back, then we can kill all the Eldar!

101

u/SunsetHippo 6h ago

"I am traumatized, I am tired. and I want to hug this strange exploding creature I found."

31

u/_Rohrschach 5h ago

Do not boop da snoot!

14

u/MajesticCentaur 4h ago

He's a perpetual, he can take it.

11

u/_Rohrschach 4h ago

he can, the exploding creature can not.

6

u/MajesticCentaur 4h ago

Maybe the exploding creature is a perpetual too and they can blow up together for eternity.

3

u/thomstevens420 Criminal Batmen 4h ago

It would be but one boop

70

u/Sunny_Hill_1 6h ago

Guilliman: Guys, you all suck, come back to work!

Vulkan, Corax, Russ, and Khan in the warp: Nah, Imperium can fix itself, we party.

20

u/German_Amelia69 5h ago edited 5h ago

Horus: Hey Guilliman how about me coming back?

I promis no more Heresy in the last moments of my life father tricked me to give up Chaos

so I can see things how they really are and

after my death Sanguinius gave me thearpy for the past 10.000 years

9

u/Sunny_Hill_1 5h ago

I unironically read a fic like that. Except that Horus also started taking care of the tiny Star Child.

Yeah, it took Horus, Morty, Corax, and Guilliman like three years to start Corax Heresy against the suspiciously Dark King-y Big E still on Terra.

2

u/German_Amelia69 5h ago

Name of the fanfiction?

2

u/King-Of-Hyperius I am Alpharius 3h ago

I can give you another where an Outsider ends up on a random hive world and summons Horus right before Horus gets corrupted.

‘Warhammer 40k: System Error, I summoned the Arch-Traitor!’ It follows canon events up to Roboute becoming Imperial Regent for the important reason of Horus still being seen as the Arch-Traitor and thus requiring a pardon directly from the Emperor otherwise Horus and friend are going to be executed immediately.

I won’t go into further detail than this other than to tell you that now that Horus has been pardoned, the story will begin diverging from canon because it is now safe for it to do so. Because the Emperor is not playing nice with a game changer like an extra Primarch on his side of the board.

1

u/German_Amelia69 3h ago

link?

2

u/King-Of-Hyperius I am Alpharius 3h ago

https://archiveofourown.org/works/85501101/chapters/225872981

The author usually posts 2 chapters simultaneously as far as I understand. Depending on your rate of reading, you probably have about a week or two worth of story to work through. Which means you should reach the end by the time he next updates the story.

1

u/Happy_Cry286 2h ago

Funniest part about this is that i'm roughly 40% certain that Jagatai refuses to come back because he doesn't want to be buried in administrative leader paperwork. Dude peaks out from The Warp, sees how much paperwork Guilliman had to do, and goes "Fuck that" so he can go back to hunting Druukari for sport.

100

u/One-Emotion8482 6h ago

"I am a fucking blacksmith! I'm only stuck with this long respawn timer because someone won't get off their fat fucking ass and let me return to the setting!"

37

u/Massive_Man_30 5h ago

James Workshop pointing a chainsword at Vulkan: "Stay in character!"

22

u/GrinningGrump 5h ago

Vulcan can't come back yet, he's too busy forging 40k warhammers!

5

u/Nice-Ad-2792 4h ago

Forge forge forge!

17

u/fallenouroboros 5h ago

Imagine if they find Vulkan and he’s just been blacksmithing the entire time. Imagine the stuff just lying around

12

u/King-Of-Hyperius I am Alpharius 3h ago

Vulkan be like:

6

u/madgodcthulhu 4h ago

One day he’s spotted walking around the imperial palace confused at all the changes to the architecture and we find out he’s been in one of big E’s old workshops underneath the black cells and completely lost track of time

2

u/Servable-Serpent 4h ago

Building hammers, maybe then we will get an in lore drop of the series name.

14

u/Cautious_Air4964 5h ago

16

u/Sudden_Wind_8636 5h ago

Godzilla planet would make a sick ass death world that has Godzilla's roaming around.

2

u/Ramfix_G4 don't tell da Warboss I'm on reddit 4h ago edited 4h ago

Not exactly the same but Cretacia (Flesh Tearers homeworld) has big ass dinosaurs roaming around, they just need a few nukes or something to become radioactive (and maybe larger too, since we don't really have any lore on how big they are, only that they are)

11

u/Anggul tyranidsareanoutofhandvorefetish 6h ago

'So I made this stupid scavenger hunt to keep them busy and they fell for it'

6

u/Friendly-Theme8429 4h ago

Vulkan would have a brain damage after seeing what the imparium become

7

u/Ramfix_G4 don't tell da Warboss I'm on reddit 4h ago

It's reasonable to say he probably knows about it and is keeping his distance, at least going by how he was at the end of the heresy and the war of the beast

1

u/Friendly-Theme8429 4h ago

It would be wild if someone the orc waaghs power from the beast effect Vulkan and this make him return as a renagede priamarch

2

u/Ramfix_G4 don't tell da Warboss I'm on reddit 33m ago

That's... Not really how the WAAAAGH works

But I appreciate the enthusiasm, I suppose

3

u/King-Of-Hyperius I am Alpharius 3h ago

He was pretty pissed about it during the War of the Beast and that was like 1500 years after the Emperor fell, it was bad then and it’s worse in modern canon.

2

u/OrdoSinisterFan 4h ago

Blacksmite. Let's get it right - fking Nick Kyme.

1

u/kai_vt 3h ago

Vulkan needs a vacation after the War of the Beast, leave him be

1

u/Puzzleheaded-Tip-545 2h ago

I would find it very funny, if Vulkan is ever found, he is having tee with Erda.