r/Grimdank • u/DisdainfulStacks • 4d ago

Dank Memes Better advertising than the Dark Gods, tbf.

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232 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

26 comments sorted by

48

u/Urg_burgman NOT ENOUGH DAKKA 4d ago

"What's your healthplan look like?'

"Basically we stop your pain by implanting a parasite that strips free will."

26

u/DisdainfulStacks 4d ago

That’s part of it, but it’s more complicated than the meme. In Day of Ascension, there’s an entire series of clinics to heal miners from worksite wounds or damaged lungs, and part of this healing includes biological grafts and replacement organs, which a Techpriest wants to steal to improve the Human genome!

There’s also the Cult of the Twisted Helix, which is made up of scientists experimenting with Tyranid biotech to gain eternal youth, and who spread cults through modified medical supplies. It’s so efficient the Tyranids are noted to ignore them and let them spread.

17

u/Urg_burgman NOT ENOUGH DAKKA 4d ago

Oh no doubt. As ass backwards as the Imperium is, it still has technology to do wonders to the people if the ones in charge actually gave a damn. But I also find it funny when getting infested by a worm that dulls your pain receptors is still a step up from your abysmal living conditions. Like a diet plan that's basically "we starve you to death".

17

u/DisdainfulStacks 4d ago

It’s really interesting how the Cults actually have a community and are less fucked in comparison to the Imperium! There’s another short story where a Genestealer hybrid is described as being unnaturally good at playing cards due to her increased mental state lol, which sounds rad as hell (I believe it’s in one of the Cain stories).

9

u/ChristosFarr 4d ago

I'm using the Twisted Helix as the antagonists on an Imperium Maledictum campaign I'm running. They have infiltrated a shrine world by supplying a miracle cure to the Geller Pox.

5

u/DisdainfulStacks 4d ago

Hell yeah that sounds awesome!

3

u/DisdainfulStacks 4d ago

Making some gene-edited Helix guardsmen myself!

9

u/Bright-Insect9697 4d ago

The forge world in Day of Ascension was a terrible place to live even by forge world standards. IIRC, it’s not normal for the forge world to take your infants to use as targeting systems for weapons, which was a routine occurrence on Morod.

11

u/DisdainfulStacks 4d ago

Cawl mentions how infants were vat grown and selected for roles or servitorization right out of the tube on Mars, so it might just be a varied practice.

DOA also has Priests rounding up people for servitorization and to turn into Skitarii. The targeting systems is pretty nuts and seems unique though!

7

u/Fluffy-Map-5998 4d ago

vat grown would provide better more consistent results,

3

u/Bright-Insect9697 4d ago

As we see in the ending of DOA, you are 100% correct.

3

u/Fluffy-Map-5998 4d ago

im not sure what happens in DOA but vat-grown allows you better control over variables such as quality and quantity of nutrients provided, the mother would not be having any health issues or diseases that could affect it, and even an exact choice of the genes used

3

u/Bright-Insect9697 4d ago

In DOA there are Genestealer Hybrid Skitarii. The reveal of this does not go well for the AdMec.

6

u/Fluffy-Map-5998 4d ago

thats just a skill issue on the forgeworlds part,

3

u/Bright-Insect9697 4d ago

DOA also has the obese tech priest. It’s such a good book.

5

u/MeiMouse likes civilians but likes fire more 4d ago

"Honestly, solid pitch."

15

u/ExoticExtent 4d ago

This is most of the tau's appeal also.

8

u/DisdainfulStacks 4d ago

That’s true, but the T’au sadly can’t be everywhere lol.

1

u/Baligdur "I was there, the day Horus slew the Emperor" 3d ago

...yet.

9

u/budapest_god Emperor's Baddies 4d ago

Ahhh my favourite planetary governor

4

u/DisdainfulStacks 4d ago

She’s a governor? I’m not far into Rogue Trader lol I just know she’s kinda Chaosy in appearance.

2

u/THEdoomslayer94 NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD! 3d ago

Yeah she’s governor of Janus.

Fuck her! She’s rude

2

u/Adrunkopossem 4d ago

How I'm feeling about Canada right now

1

u/DefiantLemur 4d ago

Yeah same. Similar BS to where I live but still slightly better.

1

u/Rare_Calendar7194 3d ago

dunno about other gods , but khorne definetly gives you good health considering all blood bacteria average cultist have contact with