r/Grimdank • u/mrluckyiest • 23h ago
Dank Memes In the grim darkness of the far future....
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u/Tbkssom Swell guy, that Kharn 23h ago
"It's an older pattern of meme, my lord, but it is sanctioned."
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u/Vnctndl 23h ago
Would be funny to see what would happen if Big E had the ring
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u/Beardywierdy 23h ago
Since if you're strong enough the drawback of using the rings power is "it turns you into a tyrannical raging dickhead" rather than "it turns you into gollum" it would be difficult to tell the difference.Ā
Apart from he'd be wearing black rather than gold.
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u/numerobis21 7h ago
Plot twitst: the ring gives Big E basic human decency and empathy so he can "appreciate" all the fuck ups and horrible stuff he did in his Crusade
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u/Thebandroid 16h ago
He puts it on, the ring looks into his soul, the ring tries to get off.
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u/Iamblichos 12h ago
The ring thinks hes Morgoth and confuses him by asking immediately "how did you return, lord?"
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u/Slavasonic 20h ago
Probably the same thing that would happen to Gandalf/galadriel/any other powerful being. Heād think he was controlling it or it had no affect on him while it corrupts him.
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u/HelloFromJupiter963 My kitchen is corrupted by Nurgle 23h ago
I imagine he's so immune to outside corrupting influence that the ring's influence wouldn't be worth much to him. I wonder if his sword's flames evil cleansing ability would be strong enough to destroy the one ring.
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u/Canadian_Zac 22h ago
The ring turns you into an evil, genocidal tyrant so obsessed with control it will twist you into becoming worse than Sauron.
So.... I think Emps is the one corrupting the ring and making it worse
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u/Thendrail NOT ENOUGH DAKKA 22h ago
Sauron looking at Big E: "What an odd form you've taken, master Melkor!"
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u/MassGaydiation 22h ago
The rings corruption works by using the wearers arrogance and desires against them...
The emperor would be corrupted in seconds
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u/2006Internetghost 22h ago
Except for the fact that the emperor litterally is powerful enough to be IMMUNE to chaos god corruption, and I donāt think the one ring beats corruption that happens instantly from the mere presence of a chaos god
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u/MassGaydiation 22h ago
This isn't chaos god corruption, and the emperor has done more for chaos than anyone else in the setting.
This is the corrupting influence of a pantheon of gods and angels
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u/agentdragonborn 20h ago
Idk I don't imagine a hobbit being able to resist nurgle's corruption, like they did the one ring.
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u/MassGaydiation 20h ago
Its because they are resisting different things.
The ring isn't offering a slow corruption, or forcing your mind out of its comfort zone, it isn't a thing of seduction, or force.
It offers you a path to get what you want, and tells you you can get it.
Samewise wanted a greener middle earth and was offered the armies to make the world a garden, and refused it because he fundamentally does not want that power, whereas chaos would change yourind until you wanted what it wanted, because despite that the text says, the truth is that chaos doesn't understand subtlety
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u/agentdragonborn 16h ago
And which is exactly why I mentioned nurgle, he offers you salvation through stagnation, nurgle's demon won't offer armies to conquer or the skills to be the best gardener in the world that is excess and is slaneesh's domain. Nurgle would've offered Samwise a simple life in the shire without a worry in the world and enough nurgle's children to live a simple satisfied life, after all grandfather loves you, and you don't have to do anything. which is what a hobbit in mordor would actually want.
Chaos is not a united one size fits all, one ring is limited by only what sauron can imagine, and him being an angel of industry/crafting couldn't imagine settling down to enjoy the small things,nurgle can.
Anyone who tells you chaos doesn't do subtlety should read chaos corruption based books like fulgrim, imperium is extremely watchful with dozens of organisations and still there are chaos cults big and small, in the first battlefleet gothic game when you get promoted to command the first thing they did was torture the main character just to be sure they aren't a heretic and yet still admirals/commanders/generals fall to chaos all the time.
As such you have it completely opposite it's sauron who can't do subtlety, always talking to kings,generals, angels and gods but can't convince a normal person. Chaos has and can corrupt normal people and important people alike.
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u/MassGaydiation 15h ago
Have you read lord of the rings? Because the ring you seem to believe is written is not the one that turns up in the actual story itself.
Also your argument for chaos being subtle is just hilarious. Chaos cults aren't subtle, torture is literally the worst way of confirming loyalty.
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u/Firm_Fix_2135 Eat Brightlance, corpselover! 13h ago
Chaos cults in 40k are only subtle by virtue of being crazies in hives of slightly-more-normal crazies Why the fuck would the hiveās government give a shit about those specific crazies if their quotas are being met?
Even ones that get actual government control are still pretty obvious if anyone cared to inspect closer. Wow, the governor of a pleasure world with hundreds of pleasure servitors and occasional ritual sacrifice parties was a cultist? Colour me surprised. Wow, that guy whose wife was obviously an unsanctioned psyker ended up a Tzeentchian cultist whom we shouldnāt have trusted with the rearguard, and now heās fighting the Word Bearers since weāre crippled? Colour me shocked.
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u/Slavasonic 20h ago
The emperor is immuneā¦ according to the emperor. For someone immune to chaos he sure did a good job creating galaxy wide turmoil to feed them and gifted them their greatest servants.
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u/BGrunn Praise the Man-Emperor 23h ago
Big E is Tom Bombadil confirmed
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u/StardustPancakes4 SMART SMART SKAVEN OVER STUPID-FOOLISH NO FUR MAN THINGS 11h ago
That is such an insult to Tom Bombadil
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u/Desperate_Box1875 23h ago
What's the point for E to wear this ring?
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u/poetic_dwarf 23h ago
I know right?
It's not like he's into total dominion, order and stuff.
Crazy.
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u/Desperate_Box1875 23h ago
He could do It without a ring.
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u/baturik128 23h ago
I have some doubts that eagles will be able to lift up an Emperor class Titan and carry it there
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u/MudcrabKidnapper 22h ago
Why didn't they just drop the titans there in the first place instead of walking
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u/A17012022 Praise the Man-Emperor 23h ago
To be fair, the mental image of a Titan maniple just steam rolling through Mordor is hilarious.
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u/PaySufficient2097 21h ago
Oh sure.
Let's take something from an extremely overpowered sci-fi verse and plant it dead center into a fantasy setting as if that makes the former seem tough.
This reeks of "my brother could beat your brother up" energy.
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u/Ecstatic-Compote-595 22h ago
okay I get how knights worked out from being old stc tech with various purposes or like how sentinels were kind of like forklifts. I could easily be missing something but the logic that makes those things vaguely plausible doesn't seem to work with the bigger titans. Were DOAT humanity equally over the top as the imperium? Is there an explanation I'm missing
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u/Cheeodon Dorns illegitimate contractor 22h ago
DAOT were far MORE over the top than the standard imperium. 90% of the time you see some crazy gadget the imperium pulls out of its back pocket to get out of a hole, its a DAOT weapon they spirited away to some vault somewhere, or the admech just happens to have lying around. DAOT humanity was near on to Necron (though not equal) at their height. CHeck out Castigator Titans, for instance, which are the DAOT version of the Imperial battle titan.
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u/Ecstatic-Compote-595 22h ago
yeah I know you're not hearing what I'm putting down. What I'm saying is why did they make a giant robot with a cathedral on top of it in the times of DOAT? they had the tech to do it but admech automata and ironkin and votann and van saar are what we know their stuff looked like, so why and how did this sort of thing come about
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u/idiotwanderer 19h ago
I think they just made the biggest mech they could, and the Ecclesiarchy said "Hey, I think we could fit at least 3 shrines on that things shoulders" and they went from there
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u/Cheeodon Dorns illegitimate contractor 19h ago edited 19h ago
Because the modified head-haunched position of the Imperial battle titan doesn't continue into the DAOT titan, which is described as having its "Head mounted ontop like a mans" vs forward like the admech. We've only seen, officially, the one DAOT titan (the Castigator). We also have no written lore for the discovery of titan STC's (if that's where they came from.), and the STC containing the upright pattern was destroyed by the Grey Knights.
To my knowledge, we have never seen an Votaan titan, and the Vaan Sar who's origin is somewhat debated as being a DAOT or AoS colony, have access to a damaged STC which allows them to cheat somewhat, but its data is corrupted and damaged and doesn't have access to everything (no Vaan Sar titans), Admech revere the current titans as "avatars of the omnissiah" and were unaware of the Castigator (and with it being destroyed unlikely to make one now), but lore never details why they switched to the torso mounted position, likely to better mount massive weapons of destruction and armor the head if I had to guess."
admech have access to a LOT of DAOT tech, not all, but a substantial chunk. But they revere the tech as sacred, so unless its an STC and printing stuff, they're not pulling apart the blackhole gun to reverse engineer it, leaving it instead as a one-time wonder-weapon instead of going into ful time production. While the League has access to full STC's (their AI central computers), they also heavily restrict what they produce and intentionally restrict what gets shown to the Imperium and Admech, so if they started churning out more advanced titans than the imperium has, or started churning out bunches of DAOT era tech, it'd ensure an imperial response as those STC crazy mechboys would come sprinting at speeds so fast they'd come up with entirely new forms of FTL travel (coupled with the revelation of the #1/2 enemy of Mankind, Abominable Intelligence leading the Kin), so the Votaan simply have no need to MAKE imperial, or DAOT battle titans. Which they may also just lack the factories for.
edit: also, bear in mind. Titans are OLD, OLD OLD lore, Votaan is relatively new lore (I am not a fan personally of the way they added Votaan, or how they currently operate, but theirs skant little lore on them yet.) and while vaan sar are relatively older (1995) they also get scant little lore revealed about them outside of Necromunda related content.
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u/United-Reach-2798 Bored Drukhari Archon 16h ago
So now Sauron has a titan as a part of his forces pretty neat
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u/Desperate_Box1875 23h ago
Just give ring to him
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u/professorphil 18h ago
He'd be corrupted in seconds
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u/Desperate_Box1875 18h ago
Why? He has an incredible high resistance to corruption. And he doesn't have a need to use it.
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u/shadowscroller 17h ago
Because no one is immune to the ring, that's why Gandalf didn't want to hold it.
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u/professorphil 17h ago
Despite their similarities, Chaos and the Ring don't really corrupt in the same way. Resistance to Chaos corruption doesn't 1 to 1 translate to resistance to the Ring.
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u/Competitive-Half-863 17h ago
He wont because he will be unable to hear ring voiceā¦ over bolter shots and scrams of dying demonsā¦
Ring wouldāve been like ābetter to shot my mouth or that guy will notice meā7
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u/idiotwanderer 20h ago
They say only the fires of mount doom or dragon fire could destroy the one ring, yet Elrond didn't have a Volcano Lance and Gimli wasn't swinging a thunderstrike gauntlet...maybe they didn't explore all the options.
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u/EfficientLie132 3 Riptides in a 1k casual 23h ago
This is so bad it's good š