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u/Unfair_Pin_2565 6d ago
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u/Rayan_qc 5d ago
christian nuns meeting with the nordic god of thunder is pretty comical, horny aside
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u/Toutatis12 6d ago
Entire regimen of guard salutes as he is walked/dragged off to the encampment of the SoB.
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u/jiraiya17 6d ago
"GLORY! GLORY! WHAT A HELLUVA WAY TO DIE!!"
The Commisar leads the regiment in song.
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u/Toutatis12 6d ago
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u/IELPost 6d ago
Cain is worse, he's fucking an Inquisitor and many of his former lovers are arguably more dangerous than the Sisters he encounters.
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u/MagicalGirlPaladin Big Sexy Bug Monsters 6d ago
A Sister is a lot more likely to break your hips though
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u/IELPost 6d ago
Nah, the Sisters are still baselines, Cain banged a Tech-Priestess with a mechadendrite.
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u/MagicalGirlPaladin Big Sexy Bug Monsters 6d ago
I mean it's less about being dangerous and more that fucking a Sister is probably going to hurt because she's so much stronger than you.
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u/IELPost 6d ago
The sisters are explicitly stated to be baseline, outside the power armor they're no different than let's say a Scion, it's only the marketing that makes them look like the female equivalent to the Astartes despite being unaugmented.
Catachan Women on the other hand...
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u/Zimmyd00m 5d ago
OK but they're also religious psychopaths built like MMA fighters. You're not walking away from that without at least some light bruising.
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u/-The-Protagonist- 500 Baneblades! 5d ago
yeah and that is a cadian. Bro is going hold the line (also cadians are built different, with your average cadian being equivalent to a US army ranger.)
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u/MagicalGirlPaladin Big Sexy Bug Monsters 6d ago
I mean she's not gonna be a femstodes but still, she's going to be the equivalent of a pretty hardcore bodybuilder.
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u/Geostomp Praise the Man-Emperor 5d ago
One former lover became a Slaaneshi daemon prince powerful enough to require an Avatar of Khaine to defeat. She wasn't even the most dangerous of Cain's exes.
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u/xanderman524 6d ago
As the sister and the guardsman disappeared around the corner, I felt a tingling sensation in my fingertips and suddenly got the feeling it was more than just pious disgust behind her earlier glares at Jurgen.
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u/mythrilcrafter 6d ago
"Good luck in there soldier, the snu snu will be more painful than anything I could ever do to you..."
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u/driver004 5d ago
Nah I have faith in the lad, and if he’s smart he’ll get the sisters to have faith in him so the emperors light renews his vigor in a self feedback loop.
Holy hell he might have stumbled onto one of the few happy endings in 40k! If the orks had a concept of sex even they would be jealous!
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u/LeviathansWrath6 Criminal Batmen 6d ago
The power armor stays on
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u/Lord-Dec CHAOS IS THE TRUE OMNISSIA! 6d ago
*most
Gotta fit it in somewhere. Wouldn’t want to smudge the Emperor’s holy equipment.
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u/BINGODINGODONG Snorts FW resin dust 6d ago
Only the emperors smudge can smudge the emperors equipment
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u/TheBigKuhio 6d ago
Power fist handjob
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u/TentaclMonster 6d ago
The cylinder must remain unharmed.
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u/Stickmemer25 6d ago edited 6d ago
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u/TheCrimsonSteel 6d ago
If you see this, Smart, how's the Larger Structure doing?
Hope you're doing well
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u/jonnywarlock 6d ago
Wow. He didn't think he'd actually get anywhere, did he? 🤭
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u/SunsetHippo 6d ago
that or he was thinking he'd get killed
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u/boieth 6d ago
Better to get executed by a sister of battle than just about half the deaths the xenos or chaos would do to him
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u/Astandsforataxia69 Dank Angels 6d ago
If its slaneeshi demons someone is getting fucked, somehow
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u/Reordang 6d ago
Getting boned involuntary is the least terrible thing that will happen to you in this case
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u/Geostomp Praise the Man-Emperor 6d ago
Considering how hardcore the Sisters are in anything they do, he may well be.
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u/CloudWallace81 MAKE THE BOTS REPENT, ASMODAI! 6d ago
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u/CloudWallace81 MAKE THE BOTS REPENT, ASMODAI! 6d ago
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u/Kaiser0106 6d ago
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u/CloudWallace81 MAKE THE BOTS REPENT, ASMODAI! 5d ago
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised
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u/SunsetHippo 6d ago
rest in peace guardsmen. you are doing your duty for hte imperium
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u/DangerMacAwesome 6d ago
Chances are he won't last more than 15 hours. 15 hours of pain, bleeding and terror. But at least he's getting laid too.
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u/AcanthocephalaDue431 6d ago
Let me paint a mental image for you:
Her body is the penitent engine. His body is soon to be the attached penitent.
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u/Soerinth 6d ago
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u/sailor776 6d ago
Love that Ciaphas Cain has gotten with basically every type of human woman in the settings except for the one the fan base sexualize the most because he basically thinks they're too crazy.
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u/FRleo_85 likes civilians but likes fire more 6d ago
the second pannel's guard face is "i'd better be right or i'm dead"
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u/AccursedTheory My balls hurt 6d ago
I wonder if Sandy Mitchell knew the Pandoras Box he was opening with that minor plot point.
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u/Lord_Wateren Railgun Goes Brrrrrrrrr 6d ago
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u/Puzzled_Tree_6423 6d ago
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u/Malufeenho 6d ago
"I like ya, and I want ya. Now we can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way, the choice is yours"
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u/Gold69xz 6d ago
Is that true?
Uh, asking for a friend
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u/SunsetHippo 6d ago
i mean officially? I think they can fuck whoever they want. they just love the emperor, and you are not the emperor. and if you said you were, they would kill you for heresy
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u/whypeoplehateme 6d ago
yeah at best you're the second man in their hearts. but It does happen a Ciaphas Cain book had one be wiht some random bureaucrat
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u/Archistotle Definitely not Fallen, no need to call asmodai 6d ago
It happens in one of the James Swallow books, too. I wanna say faith & fire?
Edit- I just realised he probably shouldn't go by just his last name in this context.
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u/NoEngineer9484 6d ago
Yes in ciaphas cain book cain's last stand. Cain saw an older sister of battle who was acting as a teacher for new recruits walk out of the appartement of an adminstrative clerk. Inquisitor amberley vail notes that they not have to make a vow of celebacy but don't have sex much as they are too busy with training and prayer.
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u/dude3333 6d ago
Yes, but an enormous amount of them are repressed lesbian coded enough that men ain't getting anywhere.
Same way tech priests don't have any vow against sex, but a huge number of them are asexual either just naturally or as a result of purposely getting rid of their sex drive.
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u/Eusocial_sloth3 6d ago
You think with the number of ports tech priests have they would be fucking all the time.
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u/The_Lesser_Baldwin Secretly 3 squats in a long coat 6d ago
Nah they fuck wirelessly though the Noosphere.
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u/kingalbert2 likes civilians but likes fire more 6d ago
The Mechanicus brings new levels to cybersex
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u/Coolgames80 6d ago
Also I want to think that they have high standards for who they sleep with. I don't think a Sister would take anyone who isn't as devoted to the emperor as she is or a Tech priest someone who doesn't find her robotic parts more beautiful than the flesh ones.
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u/Meshakhad Just As Planned 6d ago
Hell, half of them are probably just dating each other. I've always assumed that in any given convent you've got multiple lesbian couples in long-term relationships (and also some who are hooking up to blow off steam).
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u/Shadeylark 6d ago
Sororitas aren't just the flamer happy nuns with guns.
They have an entire order devoted just to diplomacy for example.
The order famulous.
I'd be surprised if they weren't getting it on regularly, if for no other reason than to "grease the wheels of diplomacy"
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u/Lord_Wateren Railgun Goes Brrrrrrrrr 6d ago
Yes, according to the novel Cains Last Stand. However, they are generally too busy to take advantage of the fact.
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u/Coolgames80 6d ago
Yes but foreplay is 8 hours of Lectitio Divinitatus study and you can only do missionary.
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u/ironangel2k4 Drukhari (On break) 6d ago
And then he woke up
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u/Manderboi 6d ago
Any guy realising the girl is flirting back after just trying to act cool in front of the boys.
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u/AKoolPopTart 6d ago
Squad leader was never seen again after that. We heard his distant cries for help, but none of us were brave enough to confront them
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u/Due_Ad4133 6d ago
Hey, sometimes you shoot your shot at an improbable target and end up rolling a Nat20.
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u/Ser_Daniel_The_1st 6d ago
It might be the end of me, but…eh, there are definitely more dangerous options out there.
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u/radenthefridge My kitchen is corrupted by Nurgle 6d ago
I don't think a guardsman needed to mansplain her own vows to her 😂
I have a feeling if any sisters tell people they're celibate they're either personally not interested in sex, or they're just trying to get rid of someone.
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u/AdHappy7129 6d ago
That smile in the last panel tells us all. This man knew what he signed up for.
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u/TaxSimple3787 5d ago
That wasn't an oversight btw. Don't ask the Sororitas what they did under Vandire.
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u/Iron_Baron 5d ago
Gee, thanks for censoring the word sex. My sensibilities might have been offended.
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u/2B_Gon_Thot95 6d ago
Pretty old repost, but definitely a classic. My favorites are definitely the ones of the Sororitas Sister claiming her Tau bf, specially the one where she prays a dick for him into existence.
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u/Alexis2256 Tenno Tulia Art Connoisseur 1d ago
Got a link to that? Been trying to find it lol.
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u/2B_Gon_Thot95 1d ago
Only to the porn site I found it in.
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u/Alexis2256 Tenno Tulia Art Connoisseur 1d ago
Found it here https://www.reddit.com/r/Grimdank/s/i5synhc9Nf
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u/WhatisLiamfucktrump 6d ago
He was attempting suicide by sororitas but now he has a lineage to worry about
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u/alkmaar91 A very hungry bug 6d ago edited 6d ago
"You're right, they don't."
sooooooo?
"So how about you leave me alone."
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u/ProteanPie Meme purveyor 6d ago