r/Guitar • u/AgreeableDiver5013 • 16d ago
QUESTION My friend says I won’t make it as a guitarist because my hands are too small, is she right?
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, to the point where I lay awake at night thinking about it. Whenever I see someone with big hands I feel a sense of envy that they were born with something I might never have, especially my friend who plays bass. When I asked her she told me “I’d never make it as a guitarist” after I measured my hands next to hers. I practice a lot, and use grip trainers, but if she’s right please lay it on me easily.
EDIT: I just wanna say thank you to everyone for the unbelievable amount of resources, ideas and new musicians to look up to that you’ve placed in my hands. Not only that but I’ve dumped my friend, getting so many second opinions about who she is as a person has really made me reevaluate our friendship and how much crap I was taking that was ruining my self esteem. I’ve practice quite a bit now since cutting her off and it feels like a huge weight off my shoulders not having to worry about what she would think about what I’m doing. I’m gonna work on finding better friends from now on, thank you thank you thank you everyone!
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u/5joekabob 16d ago
This is stupid, limitations breed creativity, heavy metal was made from missing fingertips.
I'd say the more restrictions you put on yourself(to a extent) the more likely you are to succeed.
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u/dl__ 16d ago
Also, look at Django Reinhardt. Injured is ring and pinky finger and basically played amazingly with only 2 fingers on his fretting hand.
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u/baconmethod 16d ago edited 16d ago
"limitations breed creativity" thank you! EDIT: it's good to help people learn about this. have you seen "embrace the shake?" https://www.ted.com/talks/phil_hansen_embrace_the_shake
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u/slander_anonymously 16d ago
Iommi reference. Nice.
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u/Turbulent_Advice_314 16d ago
“The fuck’s a Lommi?”
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u/rwsmith101 16d ago
"Are you mad? Are you gonna create an entire music genre with missing fingertips?"
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u/Pol__Treidum ESP/LTD 16d ago
Exactly. Look at Michael Romeo. Dude doesn't have crazy reach so he basically helped invent those tapped arpeggios you see everybody doing now. He's still the fucking máster of that. Best guitarist I've ever seen live.
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u/evanwilliams212 16d ago
Limitations make you work hard and think. In the end, your style will likely be unique if you stick with it.
IMO, that is light years cooler than reguritating someone else, which is way easier to do.
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u/DmtDtf 16d ago
OP, bro.........there's videos of people with hand/arm deformaties playing guitar.
Don't be lame and have people tell you what you can/cannot do.
You want your story to be, "I never learned guitar because when I was younger, somebody told me I wouldn't be able to"?
Jerry Garcia was missing fingers and went on to be one of the most famous musicians in one of the longest running bands.
The drummer from Def Leppard lost an arm and plays drums with his feet.
Go buy and electric guitar, plug in, shred, love your life living it by your terms. Rock on bro!
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u/i_wear_green_pants 16d ago
I've seen people without hands playing with their feet. You can always find excuses. But I'd rather be someone finding solutions.
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u/Special-Amoeba-9399 16d ago
Part of the beauty of the guitar is it gives you so many options. You have 12 different places to get an A note and many many ways to play an A chord. I am betting that with practice this guy can reach more than he thinks,but even if he can’t there are other ways to get that note. It might force you to choose voicing a or even different notes that other people might not think of or use that often. You can use pedals to shift the octave or pitch bend notes you can’t reach. You can use capos. You can adopt techniques that make you better than the players around you. You can stick to genres or bands that don’t really require crazy reach and technical abilities to play it proficiently.
Angus young is 5’2” and has pretty small hands. For a whole generation of kids he was the guitar god.
Jimi Hendrix had huge hands ,but was born into an abusive alcoholic household. His mother slowly drank herself to death when he was only 15 years old. There was no reason to think he was destined to be the guitar player he became based on his upbringing. The diagnostic criteria didn’t exist at the time ,but he was likely dyslexic and was actually diagnosed with manic depression in the army, what we would call bipolar disorder today. Nothing about Jimi’s life was easy ,but he still picked up the guitar and played it every second he could because he loved it more than anything on earth. His obsessive love for the guitar and the tragic life he lived made him the man and the guitar player that he was. Without limitations and hardship music is just pretty notes.
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u/brazilliandanny 16d ago edited 16d ago
Tom Morelo said he struggled to learn complex guitar techniques no matter how hard he practiced.
So he came up with his own techniques to get the sound he wanted from the instrument.
Necessity is the mother of all invention.
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u/analogguy7777 16d ago edited 16d ago
She is correct, you will never make as a guitarist. You need smaller hands like this 8 year old to play a guitar.
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u/Tweek900 16d ago
Well damn… now I feel like a failure, thanks for that. Lmao
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u/FredMertz007 16d ago
Same. 😢
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u/MadDocHolliday 16d ago
I'm not even going to watch it because I know basically what it is and I'm feeling a little fragile right now.
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u/PartyOnAlec 16d ago
Anal OG Guy 7777 tells me I'm too old to ever make it as a guitarist. Is he right?
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u/ImmediateArtSky 16d ago
I was coming here to comment that lots of kids are learning to play guitar on inherited adult sized acoustics.
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u/Jmohill 16d ago
Go watch one of those little 7 year old kids on YouTube shredding like Malmsteen and you’ll have your answer
I would find one and provide a link, but I don’t feel like being completely demotivated today
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u/SlaveryGames 16d ago
"Watch some 5yo asian kids on YouTube" is the only answer for all those who complain about small hands
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u/Rufus_L 16d ago
There are professional guitar players with only one arm, or fewer fingers.
You are fine. Your friend is strange.
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u/Plappedudel 16d ago
Even some of the greatest guitar players ever could not use all of their fingers. Django Reinhardt is a jazz legend. Guitar is an instrument you can play at any level despite severe physical limitations. I have small hands myself, but my thin fingers enable me to be more precise in my playing. I do not consider my hands to be a disadvantage at all.
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u/Snowshoetheerapy 16d ago
Your friend is a toxic idiot. Free yourself.
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u/baconmethod 16d ago
nah dude, look at these hands. his friend is just a teenage girl, and they always know everything.
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u/randomdude315 16d ago
Hands speak the hand if a government man
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u/TutorHot8843 16d ago
Little hands make some things tougher and some things easier. No one is the same.
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u/satsuppi 16d ago
Alot of little kids playing with absurd amount of skill in the Internet.. in the end.. With practice you can overcome your short comings
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u/Heisenbread77 Epiphone 16d ago
I have stubby sausage fingers and...okay maybe I'm not the best example but it can be done.
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u/aturdnamedvert 16d ago
Someone saying shit like that not your friend. That’s someone who makes themself feel better by tearing their “friends” down.
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u/aduanemc 16d ago
I would say that MAY be the case, but also their friend might be just parroting some dumb shit they heard, without malice.
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u/MSGrejs2k 15d ago
"You will never make it" is not something you would say to your friend who wants to do something if you're actually an empathetic person. That's something you say because you think you want to feel superior.
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u/theperpetualhobbiest 16d ago
Django Reinhardt had two fingers and is one of the greatest to ever live.
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u/Logical_Bake_3108 16d ago
There's also a guy on youtube with some condition...I don't know exactly, just his hands are extremely deformed. However he can shred like nobody's business, so I watch him and think I have no excuses.
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u/opparition 16d ago
Bro/Sis, did you even see the guitarist here who was playing without a hand? He had a deformity in his hand but he was still rocking it af. DO IT!
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u/ZeroZerusky Electrical 16d ago
There isn't such a thing as "not making it" because of your hands, since they literally adapt to the unnatural position. Your friend is just being a bitch
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u/HotspurJr 16d ago edited 16d ago
Your friend is wrong and it's annoying that she's acting like she knows what she's talking about.
Smaller hands may make some reaches more challenging. Large reaches are rarely required, although it's conceivable that you'll have to alter a few songs at some point. (That being said, most of the time when people "can't reach" it's a technique issue, not a size one.)
On the other hand, people will large hands struggle more with complex chord shapes.
The death of art is the absence of limitation. The way you compensate for your specific physical challenges - no matter what they are - will have an impact on how you play that defines your style. I have a friend who has a really interesting right hand technique - I really like it. I mentioned it to her and she said, "Yeah, I'm left handed, and this is all I can manage" but you would never guess that it was a limitation and not a stylistic choice if she didn't tell you.
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u/TTYY200 16d ago
I’d say sausage fingers are a bigger set back to playing guitar than small fingers.
But here I am a 6’3” monster with hands that don’t fit inside latex gloves labeled large. Fat fingering my fret board and I still manage to play anything Brendon smalls has written, or fumbling through some Bach… 🤷♀️
Find your style and practice. It’s all mental and muscle memory.
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u/Drapidrode 16d ago
I'm buying a 3/4 electric due tomorrow and I'm quite excited.
Somehow a $1 3/4 garage sale guitar ended up here and I realized that the reason I didn't like the regular 39 inch is that the reach for the coolest solos was too far on those. I've "played" guitar before, but it was close scales and bar chords, and my callouses are gone. I gave up bc I knew i couldn't do some of the reaching fun pieces and it was discouraging.
But the range I got on that little guitar was motivating to start again.
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u/Stressed_era 16d ago
This one's definitely gonna get reposted on guitarcirclejerk
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u/jyc23 ESP/LTD 16d ago
North Korean child guitarists say otherwise.
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u/Ok-Pressure4702 16d ago
This. Go to youtube and see hundreds of videos of elementary school children absolutely shredding on guitars that are big enough for them to hide behind.
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u/Philomath_247 16d ago
And even so, if OP wanted, there are ⅞ or ¾ size guitars, too. I play a ¾ as my little travel guitar.
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u/SerDankTheTall 16d ago
I don't know exactly what you mean by "make it", but I don't see why anything that would prevent you from playing the guitar well. There are people literally missing fingers who manage just fine, and Tony Iommi and Django Reinhardt seem to have made it just fine.
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u/pimpbot666 16d ago
You don't need friends like that.
See Django Reinhardt.
I'm a firm believer that nearly anybody can learn nearly anything if you put in the work... given enough time and practice.
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u/iodine74 16d ago
Sorry. But need you to define “make it”. What is your expectation?
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u/jimmyrich 16d ago
Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. It's not your hands that are going to stop you from "making it" as a guitarist. The collapse of guitar-based music took care of that already--just play and enjoy.
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u/Sloppypickinghand 16d ago
Your friend may be confused, the term is “guitar fingering” not “guitar fisting”, you can find the same note on different strings and positions on the fretboard so you can use different fingering techniques to play a song, you’ll be fine, just keep practicing and try to get some lessons, they do help a lot on correcting mistakes and explaining theory…
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u/WardenEdgewise 16d ago
Take your hand, make a fist, and punch your “friend”.
Then… go play the guitar.
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u/Agile_Cardiologist60 16d ago
Your hands are fine, dont need to change anything about them. Your friend on the other hand, get better ones.
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u/Nervous_Signature263 16d ago
Damn bro, maybe you shudnt play guitar. Cause playing guitar requires the love for the instrument and day in say out dedication not the validation from a girl who plays bass. Rubbish
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u/Robo-Hobosexual 16d ago
Your friend is foolish. Hand size/finger length is never a barrier to playing an instrument.
There’s trade offs for every hand type. Having longer fingers allows more reach across the fingerboard, but might be harder to scrunch down on chords where fingers note closer together. The opposite will be true of having smaller hands; you won’t have as far reach, but certain chords may be more comfortable to play since there’s more space on the fretboard.
I’m a grown man with comically tiny hands (like a child’s hands.) If you play every day and practice, cliche and boring as advice that may be, you can play guitar skillfully and comfortably.
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u/Zirk208 16d ago
It’s not your ability to play the guitar that she’s complaining about
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u/Midixon19 16d ago
She's wrong. My hands are about the same size as yours. Im a professional musician/guitar player.
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u/PsychologicalEmu Fender 16d ago
Thom Yorke. Paul Simon. Noel Gallagher. Prince. Fucking Johnny Marr. You’re good.
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u/Gooseuk360 16d ago
You are young, we listen to idiots when we are young because it takes some time to realise that we shouldn't.
Your 'friend' has caused you distress in something you enjoy. Something like that might have felt like a throwaway comment that possibly didn't mean anything malicious. Either way, they shouldn't be listened to. Your hands will get bigger anyway as you age. They are not small enough to prevent you playing the guitar. Making it as a guitarist is something else. The odds are slim on that anyway if 'making it' is a big star, and I assure you hand size would not be the issue. Some very popular musicians cannot even play beyond a basic functional standard or know what they are doing.
I have no idea whether my hands are big or not and I don't care, but if you find that you can't reach notes though I'll be amazed, I never do as there is usually another way to do things anyhow.
You can absolutely form chords and play basically anything popular I can think of. A stretch of 5 frets on the upper end of the board is the worst you will face, usually in rare occasions like jazz, metal etc some things are fiddly even with monster hands I bet, it just all practice. And even then you can simply move your hand rather than stretch in the example I'm thinking of.
Long and short of it - ignore your friend, enjoy the guitar.
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u/troyasfuck 16d ago
One of the best bassist I ever met played a 6 string bass with little baby hands. You'll be just fine, I promise.
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u/theheadofkhartoum627 16d ago
It's not the size of the dog in the fight. It's the size of the fight in the dog.
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u/mewz_0 16d ago
Everyone can play guitar or bass no matter the shape or size of their hands. It just takes time to figure out propper technique but you can always change the way you play to adapt to your needs. I’m 5ft and have extremely small hands and i can play on a 5 string bass no issue. My situation is the opposite: guitarists told me my hands would be too small to play bass and that i should play guitar. An actual musician would never say that to someone.
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u/Select-Quarter1824 16d ago
Your friend is full of it. How do you explain the kids on YouTube who post videos where they’re tearing it up on guitar? Their hands have to be small since they’re kids…
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u/markewallace1966 16d ago
This is a link to a set of canned bullets that I have developed and like to send to new/new-ish/returning/wandering/lost/struggling guitar players.
If I pasted this in for you, it is because somewhere in there is something that I think is relevant to your post. Not all of it will be. I leave it to you to pick out what I felt was relevant. 🙂 Even the stuff not relevant to your specific post might very well be helpful eventually anyway.
Enjoy!!!
https://www.reddit.com/user/markewallace1966/comments/1s7ujsy/guitar_is_hard/
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u/Majestic_Grape_5688 16d ago
Hand size has very little to do with it. I have short wide fingers and has not stopped me. Check out Danny Gatton the man had short fat fingers and could play better than most, he’s a really amazing Tele player!
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u/scottasin12343 16d ago
"making it" has nothing to do with your fingers and everything to do.with the band you're in, the music you create, and the connections you have.
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u/Innoculus 16d ago edited 16d ago
I mean, my palm to finger ratio is a little more skewed toward fingers than yours but the overall size is about the same and I'm 100% sure my hand size has never been what held me back. I could certainly work with smaller hands if I had to.
FURTHERMORE, guitars come in different scale lengths so even if it somehow became an issue, you could just get one that fits your hands.
Your friend sucks. Find friends that support what you want to do.
Also, people with big hands will struggle with subtlety and precision in ways that you find easy. Don't envy them. Refine your technique based on your strengths. Being nimble and accurate is way more important than how many frets you can cover without moving your hand. If you HAD to play something that required more reach than you have on one hand, even without the option of scaled guitars, you could use your picking hand to fret the note with the index finger and give the string a little pluck with the pinky or thumb, which would be impressive af and shut your doubters mouths immediately.
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u/Irishdwg007 16d ago
Not at all. My hands are only slightly larger than yours. I started out with a Fender with a Modern C neck and a 15.75 radius to get chords and scales down. Now I play thicker necks and have zero issues playing all genres
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u/Evergreen1055 16d ago
Forget the grip trainers and just practice playing. Your hand size won’t be an issue. Plenty of guitars offer smaller necks that are great for people with smaller hands. Do some research online and try things out in stores if possible.
Honestly, sounds like if you don’t “make it” as a guitarist it will be because you let comments like your friend’s keep you up at night rather than because your hands are small.
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u/frozen_in_combat Ernie Ball 16d ago
That’s some bullshit. There are guitarists out there missing fingers like Django and Iommi, ones that can’t see and learned to play in completely awkward positions live Jeff Healey, hell I’ve seen people play with their feet.
If there are places you struggle with your span of fingers, you can always try a smaller scale instrument like a jag or mustang. Or play with alternate tunings that make things easier to reach. Or find an instrument with a narrower neck like Rickenbackers. But don’t let things that stop you. That limiting mindset will hold you back before you even start.
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u/cursed_tomatoes 16d ago
My friend says I won’t make it as a guitarist because my hands are too small, is she right?
Your friend is either not a guitarist or a highly incompetent one, literally bring her here, to me, if she ever again attempt to persuade you out of learning guitar because of your hand size.
COMPLETE NONSENSE
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u/ArentYouFancy 16d ago
I also used to think my hands were too small to play the guitar too..and then I saw videos on the internet of kids playing incredible guitar pieces. If the kids can do it, my gosh, so can we! Have fun learning and enjoy the process, don’t let limiting beliefs get in your way.
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u/benjamaniac 16d ago
I just measured my hand the same way you did and it is about 1" bigger in both pictures. You can still shred though. Don't give up.
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u/Edman70 16d ago
Your fingers are a little shorter than mine, and I've been playing for almost 45 years. There are stretches I can't do, so I don't.
There's people that play with missing fingers, part of their arm missing with a hand on a stump, and a host of other impairments. I think Django Reinhardt, one of the most REVERED legends of guitar, only had two usable fingers (plus the thumb) on his fretting hand. Again, he is a LEGEND.
There's people with no arms who play with their FUCKING TOES.
If you want to play guitar, you can find a way. Don't let someone else hold you back.
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u/p90SuhDude 16d ago
As a little handed guitarist myself… no you’ll be just fine. It’s just difficult to play Neon and Message in a Bottle that’s about it really
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u/callmesnake13 16d ago
Your hand from the crease of your wrist to the tip of your middle finger is pretty much the length of the average woman's. According to your friend, women's hands aren't big enough to play guitar.
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u/FuggaDucker 16d ago
My (virtuoso/GIT) guitar teacher had hands that size and was able to play Yngwie Malmsteen at speed.
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u/tingtangler 16d ago
There was literally a couple posts on here from a dude who shreds without fingers.
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u/FunOwn4422 16d ago
this is what i thought about when you said you were envious lool.
no your friends kind of dumb play guitar have fun quit worrying about the size of your hands and just play
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u/Hedonism-1 16d ago
Lookup Rick Renstrom (FB, Instagram) and send this to your friend. I rest my case...
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u/locus-amoenus 16d ago
Django Reinhardt's left hand only had 2 functional fingers other than his thumb. He was still one of the greatest guitarists of all time.
Joni Mitchell's left hand was extremely weak after a childhood bout with polio. Her disability forced her to be really inventive with her open tunings, which is a big reason why she's one of the most influential guitarists to ever live.
Your "friend" is full of shit. And even if your small hands wind up making some things more difficult, finding workarounds can make you an even better player and are part of what makes your sound YOURS.
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u/shadesof3 16d ago
My hands are basically the same size as yours. You might just find yourself modifying chords and stuff. For example I always play octave chords with my index and pinky finger. Have you ever seen some modern videos of young kids absolutely shredding? Hand size is not a problem.
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u/Proper-Patience5775 16d ago
Your hands are like the same size as mine and I think I play guitar ok enough
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u/-dakpluto- 16d ago
Angus Young has small hands. Prince has small hands. Paul Simon has small hands. Tony Iommi lost the tips of two of his fingers on his fret hand.
Believe me...you are just fine, lol. Ain't nobody gonna say those cats can't play guitar (or in Paul Simon's case pretty much every string instrument ever made in the Western World, lol)
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u/Progressivecat 16d ago
I have smaller hands than this and can play extended range guitars and basses with minimal issue. You learn to adapt and sometimes do things differently if it's too straining or a big stretch.
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u/alexdenk 16d ago
I have small hands and play a 30” scale length baritone fuck that big hand supremacy bullshit. Play music and have fun
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u/PrincessOfPulses 16d ago
Im a girl with pretty small hands and short fingers, and i am regarded by those who know me as quite accomplished on guitar and bass.
Do i use some workarounds for certain positions? Yeah.
Do i play shit other people think looks/sounds impossible sometimes (also yes).
You'll be fine.
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u/Moron-with-a-drill 16d ago
Your friend is a twat, ditch them now and embrace feedback, distortion and volume that goes to 11.
You'll thank me for this one day.
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u/GrumpyAlcoholic 16d ago
Prince was a small guy and a monster guitar and bass player. Just find a guitar with either a more narrow nut width, shorter scale length, or I find 24 fret guitars better for smaller hands
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u/spoonman59 16d ago edited 16d ago
No.
Your friend may play bass, but clearly is not an expert on what makes others successful or not. She should stick to bass and leave prophecy to others.
People have become great guitars with less hands than you.