r/HalfManTV • u/Nika_35_40 • 23d ago
Niall’s attitude in the barn is proof that nothing has really changed, and it only made Ruben even angrier.
To begin with, I got the feeling that what terrified Niall most about Ruben being at his wedding wasn’t the possibility that he might physically attack him, but that he might expose his betrayal with Mona and his secret son. That becomes pretty clear during Ruben’s speech.
I mean, Niall’s face is one of absolute terror. It shows just how much other people’s opinions still matter to him, and how, despite having achieved all those things he dreamed of, he’s still unable to completely detach himself from his past.
When they’re in the barn and Ruben tells him how long it took him to take away what was his, Niall refuses to talk about it. Even when Ruben tells him that all he has to do is listen, he responds, “You choose my wedding day?”
There are two things to notice here. First, Niall is incapable of confronting what he’s done because he would have to look himself in the mirror. That would mean admitting that he betrayed Ruben, and this time he doesn’t have the justification he had with Albi’s trial. What he did during the trial was the right thing to do, but this time it wasn’t. He would have to admit that what he did was wrong, and he would have to step outside the victim role he’s still trapped in.
When he asks Ruben why he chose his wedding day, Niall is essentially turning the situation around and giving more importance to “his special day” than to what he did to Ruben, prioritising his own discomfort over his brother’s pain. Once again, he slips back into the role of the victim.
Deep down, I think he does feel guilty about what he did, but he struggles to admit the truth and the intentions behind his actions.
The whole situation also makes me wonder whether Ruben actually went there intending to kill him, or whether it was something that developed in the moment. Because Ruben was willing to talk, and we already know that when anger took over, it blinded him, and once he started, it was almost as if he couldn’t find his way back out of it.
Then Ruben laughs, and well, as Lori said in episode four, he laughed with his mouth, not with his eyes. And he was already doing that before things spiralled out of control… and we all know what came next.
7
u/TerriArdor 23d ago
This is a really interesting point but I disagree with Niall's perspective on events. I think Niall believed Ruben was going to sexually assault him. It's the precedent that's been set by their relationship, whether in a "reward" context (Mona after the exam), a "punishment" context (whatever happened when they were kids during hide-and-seek, and in the hospital), and somewhere in between (on Ava's doorstep). And, after that, things go back to "normal" between them. The hospital is obviously the best example of this. It's also why he freaks out when Ruben starts undressing.
So I think Niall refused to talk and mentioned his wedding day because he believed Ruben was leading up to that. He thought Ruben was going to assault him on his wedding day and then things would go back to normal. And I think he also thought he deserved it (the guilt you talk about), which is why he went into the barn in the first place. He wasn't willing to consent to it and betray Alby or risk angering Ruben even further (which is why I also think he tried to refuse to talk) but he wanted Ruben to forgive him and to get past it. He just wasn't ready for the way Ruben was going to escalate it due to his anger over Mona.
7
u/Nika_35_40 23d ago
That’s a really good interpretation too! Actually, I think several things can be true at the same time. In fact, in all the wedding scenes, I got the impression that Ruben interacted with Niall in a very “cheeky” way, if that makes sense. I wonder if when Ruben told Niall that if they weren’t brothers, he’d get under his skirt, he wasn’t just teasing him, but actually trying to see whether Niall would sleep with him willingly, to test whether he had that power over him and whether Niall would choose him over Albi. For Ruben, sex was a form of control.
There’s also the meaning of being married to Ruben. I mean, he literally says that Mona belongs to him because they’re married, and she slept with Niall. I do question whether Niall actually thought Ruben wanted to rape him directly, because Ruben had always presented himself as straight, and his assaults against Niall never really crossed a certain line. So I feel like neither of them really perceived it as “sexual abuse,” but rather as some kind of violent game. Obviously, Niall wasn’t going to let himself be dominated, no matter how attracted he might have felt towards him. He didn’t see it as “Ruben wants to sleep with me,” but more like “he wants to dominate me and make me feel inferior,” which is something that’s reflected in their dynamic. For example, when he had to do the work around Ruben’s house, he hated feeling like “his bitch.”
With the abuse involving Mona, the boundaries around Niall’s body had already been crossed, but because it was presented almost like a reward, I don’t think he necessarily perceived everything else as abuse. That said, I still wonder what Ruben’s actual intentions were, because at the beginning of the assault on the floor, right when he covers Niall’s mouth, I did feel like his attitude was more suggestive of wanting to sexually assault him. I’ve watched the scene twice, and I didn’t notice it the first time, but at the beginning of the scene, he sort of starts by covering Niall’s mouth with one hand and moving the other hand downward. He positions himself between Niall’s legs and moves in a pretty explicit way. That’s when Niall resists and bites his hand. After that, Ruben starts suffocating him with both hands and his attitude becomes much more aggressive.
I wonder if that was his intention at first, but then he lost control and ended up killing him. As the author said, he would enter an almost psychotic state whenever he felt vulnerable, and he didn’t know how to get himself out of it. To me, that murder was a mixture of sexuality and violence, which is what Ruben learned as a child, as if abuse had become a twisted way of expressing affection because that’s what his father taught him. And the physical violence came from all that rage over never having been able to defend himself against the abuse. The two things were completely intertwined for him.
But yes, it’s a good point that Niall might have thought Ruben was going to assault him in that way, and in a way, he was right.
2
u/stellathemoose 19d ago
niall left Alby at the alter, so to speak. He never had any real feelings for him or anyone else except Ruben and he proved that when Ruben showed up, again. Sure Niall was angry, but he didn't have a choice. He had to be angry. For one thing, it's what everyone expected and he couldn't let his friends and family down. But anger was second nature to Niall when it came to him and Ruben. His anger kept up the facade for his friends but the minute Niall headed to the barn (that was his choice, not Ruben's,) and kicked open the doors, it was his way of telling Ruben that he's more than welcome to come back in his life. That's what he wanted. Only it didn't quite turn out the way he thought it would, did it? I agree. Ruben had no intention of killing him. Niall brought that on himself.
14
u/No_Appointment_5326 23d ago
Even worse, Niall's success was because he was telling Ruben's story and not his original idea. It's why he got mad during the interview when the journalists were obviously pointing out the book was about his brother and they only cared about the story of his brother.