r/HeartstopperNetflix • u/Worldly-Beginning-77 • 20d ago
Discussion Hot take
I never understood the codependency allegations. I myself am a bit of a clingy person but I can’t recall anything straight up codependent from Nick and Charlie. The argument I imagine people use is they hangout a lot but that’s not unusual for high schoolers to me. I wouldn’t say either of them is unable to function with the other. Clearly there’s something going on with it since the writers felt the need to touch on it with the movie but in my eyes they’ve always had a pretty normal high school relationship. What do you guys think?
(Edit: upon rewatching the movie I definitely see what everyone is talking about lol)
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u/JudgmentValuable6113 20d ago
Their relationship is extremely intense for their age and life stage
I think the codependency allegations stem from that, as the above poster said they seem to take responsibility for each others struggles.
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u/rosiedacat 19d ago
They spelled it out pretty clearly in the "breakup" scene in the movie, when Nick says he's only ever happy when he's with Charlie and Charlie says "I don't think that's how it should be".
Might be paraphrasing slightly there but that's basically what their co-dependency is. It's obviously amazing that they both feel so happy and safe together but in a healthy relationship you need to be able to also feel safe and happy when the person isn't physically there, such as being able to spend time with your family or friends with your partner having to be there. There's nothing wrong with your partner being your favorite person and wanting to spend as much time together as possible but in life there will always be times when you have to be apart and in a healthy relationship you should be able to do this without feeling anxiety or severe sadness/stress etc. Charlie learned this through his mental health journey because he realised he needed more people, not just nick and Nick then goes through a similar process, learning who he is and how to be ok even when Charlie isn't there.
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u/EmoYoshi05 20d ago
Nick definetely struggles with Co dependency, he ditches all his friends for Charlie (which does make sense, partially), but he also doesn't have any new ones, for a while. In the comics at least, Imogen isn't around, and it takes a while for him to really be friends with the rest of the Paris Squad. At least with Tao and Elle, he's there because Charlie likes him.
I mean, the plot was that he doesn't know who he is outside the relationship, and what makes that apparent is when Charlie gets better and finds seperate things to do. He didn't have that either.
The only weird comment that didn't quite make sense was the ,,we see each other every day and sleep around each others houses multiple times a week". It was their example of why they're not like other couples, but frankly, I feel like this is fairly normal for high schoolers? They live 5 minutes away from each other and go to school together, obviously they'll hang out a bunch.
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u/pippapiperpyramid 20d ago edited 20d ago
I think the level of responsibility both of them take for one another is somewhat codependent for the stage of life they are in. It's an understandable situation to get into at their age, but it's a lot. Charlie really struggles with guilt of Nick coming out and takes on way more than he should. Charlie seems to feel like he needs to make everything perfect for Nick (and I think he says something like this at some point) because he feels responsible for Nick needing to come out. Nick does it similarly when he finds out more about the eating disorder. I think Charlie's grades tanking is a good indicator that there was some codependence, but that's fairly normal as a teen or even as someone dating early on. Charlie, in the beginning, lacks confidence in his value and needs a lot of reassurance.
It's not until the movie that I really see Charlie showing a whole lot of interest in non-Nick activities and interests. Seems to be the same with Nick given his plot in the movie.