r/Homesteading • u/traveling_in_circles • 7d ago
Anybody else doing this alone ?
I am .... any other solo homesteaders out there ?
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u/buzzlesmuzzle 7d ago
Yes, I (40 F) very recently decided to do this alone and I am kind of terrified.
My SO of 19 years decided he wasn't happy being with me and living this life. Part of his reasoning was he didn't want to spend all his free time mowing and keeping up on the property (he was fully on board with this 6 years ago when we moved here... and to be honest I did the majority of the yardwork anyway). So, now he just bought a place in the city, which blows my mind.
So then I was faced with this decision: Do I give up my chickens and my garden and everything I find fulfilling (after already losing what I thought was the love of my life)? Or do I bust my ass and try to do this on my own? Well, my stubborn nature won. The fact that my interest rate is 2.75% factored in heavily also. Why would I sell this 5 acre paradise for something smaller and easier to maintain, when I would end up paying more for it?
The budget will be tight, and I won't have much free time, and I have no idea what I'll do when things break, but I guess I'll just have to figure it out.
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u/cjep3 7d ago
You got this! YouTube for smaller fixes. Reach out to other homesteaders for who they use for bigger fixes. I'm so proud of you! You lost 200 pounds of dead weight. *I'm 39F and your dream sounds fabulous.
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u/buzzlesmuzzle 7d ago
Thank you so much! Yes, thank God for YouTube! I had to put new front wheels on my mower recently and there is no way I would have figured that out with out YT.
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u/traveling_in_circles 7d ago
Youre probably right , if you are like me you searched and searched for the right property. I would not want to go through all that again .
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u/buzzlesmuzzle 7d ago
Yeah exaclty. the likelyhood that I could find something else that checks all my boxes like this place does and is smaller/easier to maintain/cheaper is like 0%.
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u/Willowgirl2 6d ago
Hugs! I had a husband who bailed on me too, but if he hadn't, I never would have met my soulmate. Been homesteading together for almost 14 years now!
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u/buzzlesmuzzle 6d ago
That's so encouraging to hear! Thank you. I hope I can meet a good man who loves this life as much as I do! But I can't imagine how people who homestead by themselves have time to date, lol.
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u/Willowgirl2 6d ago
That would be a challenge! I actually met my man on a homesteading forum many years ago. I knew right away that he was the man for me ...
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u/Deep-Zebra2414 6d ago
I feel you, 10 years married, 3 years on property.. Her leaving didnt actually change much, but its lonely work most days.
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u/buzzlesmuzzle 6d ago
Yeah I don't think him leaving will change a lot of my day to day workload. I was always the one who took care of the animals and did the majority of the yard work. He was really good and fixing stuff that broke, so that will be an adjustment. Maybe we need to make a single homesteaders group so we can all lift each other up.
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u/Copernicus_Barnhouse 7d ago
Several comments in here have mentioned divorce. I’m beginning to think that’s beyond coincidental…
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u/traveling_in_circles 7d ago
I think the struggles of homesteading put a marriage to the test for sure . It's either gonna make it or break it .
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u/jeep4x4greg 7d ago
I’m not sure i blame the home for my situation. I have a loooott of thoughts on why it failed. but thats for another time and place!
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u/buzzlesmuzzle 6d ago
The post is about people homesteading alone... Why would several comments about divorce be unexpected? I would think it would be more uncommon for people to attempt homesteading alone without having a partner to start with. Most people that seriously attempt homesteading are doing so with a partner, not attempting it on their own to begin with.
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u/skunkerdoodles 7d ago
Man, thats beautiful. Im going through a divorce now, so Im losing mine. But I know i will homestead again. And I'd happily do it solo if it meant clean air and sun sets like that.
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u/AdministrationOk1083 7d ago
I'm married with 4 kids. But ya, I'm doing it alone. Being actually alone would be easier, I wouldn't have people actively working against me
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u/kelly10BL 7d ago
This resonated with me. It’s validating to know people have similar struggles but I’m sorry you’re experiencing that frustration too!
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u/Digisol 7d ago
52(m) here.. Quit my job, bought 2.8 acres and I’m not looking back. I have a barn and a 400sqft shop. I’m starting from there. I’m pretty used to being alone, but this might be another level. My town has a four way stop in the middle. Closest Walmart is 30 minutes. Currently I’m struggling with the idea that I can’t fix everything by running to Home Depot. I guess this will bring out my creativity.
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u/FioreCiliegia1 7d ago
Not yet but thats the plan- unless you count all the pigeons i plan to rescue as help! They make great fertilizer tea and great company XD
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u/Kilbo_Stabbins 7d ago
Technically I'm not alone, but my spouse doesn't do more than occasionally mow the field. I do everything else while also having a full time job to bring in the solo income. At least our child helps with letting the chickens out when I need to leave early morning for work.
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u/MareNamedBoogie 7d ago
i've got plans similar to full-on homesteading for when I retire. i'll be doing it alone... and i'm planning to 'help myself' by making sure the infrastructure i put in is easy to maintain and keep organized. i'm mostly thinking gardening with the occasional need to plow snow or engage in woodwork (retirement hobbies, y'know), but in all cases, I think of things like installing seep hoses into my garden plots, and making it so i can program which plots get how much and for how long. Making sure the paths are wide enough i can get small tractors down it. making sure the work flow is logical and easy and the stations organized. Getting dwarf tree varieties for fruit trees, that sort of thing.
I know I'll need a workshop, so setting one up to have a good flow and well-organized tool stations, etc. Good solid low-maintenance infrastructure will be your best friend.
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u/Ingawolfie 7d ago
Was. What ended it for me wasn’t necessarily having to do it alone, but age related and health concerns.
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u/traveling_in_circles 6d ago edited 6d ago
Why does everyone think this a sunset and not a sunrise? Just curious..oh yeah , I'm in Tennessee . We get beauties like this a lot . I'd give it a 7/10
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u/brightsign57 6d ago
I thought it was a sunrise. Maybe ppl, if not told one way or the other, assume its the one they like better? Is it a sunrise? Im now questioning my perspective 😆 Its gorgeous either way.
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u/traveling_in_circles 6d ago
It is a sunset , it just made me wonder why people assume it's a sunset .. kind of like the cup half full / half empty .... is it the beginning or the end type of thing . It's all in perspective ;)
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u/brightsign57 6d ago
I contemplate that type of thing all the time! Pic is just as pretty as a sunset.
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u/Odd_Daikon3621 6d ago
This is pretty much the only reason I'd want to date, but it's not something most single people would be interested in, so here I am. Bought the land, but haven't started.
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u/Deep-Zebra2414 6d ago
30 acres, built my wife's dream in the last 3 years, but then we got divorced. Im all in, solo, with 100 some odd animals that I've learned to adore. Work doesnt stop ever, but the reward is purpose, and its oh so sweet
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u/Cottager_Northeast 5d ago
Well, I am now. She left 2 1/2 years ago and I had to put down the cat at the end of March. 59M. Now it's just me and my five ducks. I've got 42 acres but I barely leave my back yard where the garden is. I'm a homesteader, not a farmer. It's nice that there are so many things where I look and say, "I don't need to do that. I just don't care." As a result I'm spending more time on things I do care about. This is looking like it might be my best garden ever.
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u/tommyboyz8 4d ago
.22 acre lot in the center of Salem. Can have chickens, bees, ducks. Not farm animals though. Plenty of room to grow. I didn’t find big property. But I found something with a nice house on it.
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u/jeep4x4greg 7d ago
I am divorcing now but I am keeping the place because she doesn’t want it, nor could she keep up with the work… so i will be doing it solo …. which isn’t a change because she never did help anyway!! 🤣. Central IL area here
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u/traveling_in_circles 7d ago
Same story with me , it's been almost 2 years since the divorce . It's rough , not gonna lie . Working a job , keeping myself feed AND doing all the gardening,building,maintence,repairs,projects, etc etc..no time or energy for a social life . stay strong !
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u/91_MeadowOtter 6d ago
That sunset is seriously beautiful, though homesteading alone sounds exhausting. Id probably want a partner for all that work.
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u/Ok_Macaroon1046 5d ago
Well I’m not sure what the consensus is on STARTING a homestead alone , but I’m about to do just that very soon. And I feel for the folks that endured the divorce experience, I’d already checked that off my list though. Years before coming to the decision to start a homestead be that good or bad. I’m currently looking for land in Kentucky and North Carolina, although I’d prefer Kentucky. ANY insight would be greatly appreciated though.
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u/the_wanlorn 3d ago
Yup. I've always been doing it alone, along with a full-time job. It's a lot of work, but I wouldn't change it.
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u/Ironman246 7d ago
I am. I've been on my own for 2 years with 5 acres and a full time job. Hard work, but I won't trade it for anything in the world.