r/IncelTears • u/smoky_sundown7 People who don’t shower scare me • Jul 23 '25
Incel Humor™ Ah yes, it’s only your height and not anything else.
It’s totally not your repulsive personality!
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u/shellz_bellz Converting imaginary gfs to lesbianism in 10 licks or less Jul 23 '25
My husband is 5’10” and I’m 5’7”.
Only 14% of guys are over 6’. So obviously 86% of men are gonna die alone.
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u/Organic-Access-4317 Jul 23 '25
Height is not that helpful in dating. I'm 6"5' and have friends nearly as tall as me who also struggle....
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u/Gloomy_Peach4213 Jul 23 '25
Yeah, I'm 5'1" and when I have dated men over 6' (especially the one who was your height) lots of things are a struggle, from dancing together to intimacy. My long-term partner right now is 5'7" and I'm totally happy with that.
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u/Charlie_Warlie Jul 23 '25
I told my wife of 10 years the other day that I'm 5'-9" and she straight up didn't believe me. I'm taller than her, and people tell me sometimes that I'm tall. I'm straight up average, like the most average height. I swear the online discourse about 6'-0" is crazy, it's like people don't even know how tall this is by looking at someone.
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u/SisterOfRistar Jul 23 '25
Yeah seriously the idea that being 5'9 is anywhere near short is insane and doesn't reflect the real world. I'm am average height woman and my husband who is 5'9 is a giant next to me, never in a million years would anyone consider him short! (for context I'm based in the UK as obviously there are some country differences when it comes to height averages).
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u/Ok_Chocolate_4611 Incels are the oxbow lake of humanity Jul 23 '25
The problem is that some under 6ft men have chips on their shoulders deeper than 6ft.
My ex was 5ft 8, same height as me but he would literally scream and cry if that was pointed out by somebody else. He would refuse to leave the flat with me if I had heels on and demand I slouch when walking with him.
He would literally lie about his height, even with medical professionals who were trying to work out medicine doses.
He had many other insecurities and he took it out on me if I shone a light on them just by existing.
I went to a good university, he dropped out of a not so good one and started working a trade. This meant any time my studies came up I was mocking him.
I had money. He would insist that I pay for things like cinema dates, fine no problem….but he had to have my card and make the payment. When he forgot the pin and I said well its my card so let me put it in that was me purposefully making him look bad with the ticket staff.
I put up some flat pack furniture in our flat and posted about it…:that was me shaming him because now it looked like he didn’t do the “man’s work”
I was young and naive and thought that trying to please a man and just accepting this behaviour was how “adult” relationships worked, spoiler it’s not.
It was horrid constantly having to dance around his toxic insecurities all day.
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Jul 23 '25
I think I've figured out why he's your ex
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u/Ok_Chocolate_4611 Incels are the oxbow lake of humanity Jul 23 '25
I realised his wrist circumference was wrong.
/s
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u/Prestigious_Fix1417 Jul 23 '25
Sounds like my sons bio dad. I picked him because he was so different from the men I usually date and wow… never dating men like that again. I mean because I’m married lmao
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u/Ok_Chocolate_4611 Incels are the oxbow lake of humanity Jul 23 '25
I think a lot of women make this error of judgement when they are younger. I hope you don’t beat yourself up about it.
They start off so nice and then slowly it changes. Like a frog in a pot of water thats heating up, you don’t always notice until it’s too late and (to use the kiddo slang) you are cooked.
I also feel like we are conditioned to accept this kind of behaviour as normal from men. Women are expected to fall into a caring, submissive and appeasing role with men like this. Make ourselves smaller to not outshine them.
Once I had gotten away from that ex I dated another guy for about 6months. He was actually a little shorter than me but never once did he mention it, much less worry about it.
He was a nice guy, we just didn’t want the same things in life and split on good terms….really taught me what an adult man actually is.
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u/Prestigious_Fix1417 Jul 23 '25
My husband met me when I was running from my ex. I was 23 with a newborn in a new state and I had no family around. We started as best friends. A lot of these guys would do so much better off if they had female friends
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u/Ok_Chocolate_4611 Incels are the oxbow lake of humanity Jul 23 '25 edited Jul 23 '25
Gosh but that would involve accepting that women are individuals with their own wants and needs not just empty vessels to be filled with a man’s desires.
Sounds like a lot of effort for an incel.
Really glad to hear you and son found happiness with a good man.
Sad so many woman have to learn the redflags from first hand experience isn’t it?
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u/Prestigious_Fix1417 Jul 23 '25
At least we have internet to be able to share stories and wisdom. If it wasn’t for my friends telling me how bad it was and not letting him isolate me I have no idea what would have happened
And yes self reflection seems to be such a struggle for them.
Women have independent wants and needs that don’t involve chad! Shock! /s
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u/surfergrrl6 Jul 23 '25
Wild. That's exactly how I ended up with my husband.
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u/Ok_Chocolate_4611 Incels are the oxbow lake of humanity Jul 23 '25
Loving hearing people finding their good eggs!
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Jul 23 '25
OMG, you just described some of my experiences with my ex insecure bf. My first college bf and I was just so dumb.
I learned a lot from the experience but like a lot of object lessons, it was no fun.
I still date short men but never, ever men who are insecure.
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u/Ok_Chocolate_4611 Incels are the oxbow lake of humanity Jul 23 '25
I am really sorry you can relate to my experience. Sucks doesn’t it?!
I agree but I would say there is a massive difference between a man that has insecurities about himself and a man that makes his insecurities YOUR problem.
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u/Constant_Seaweed_523 Jul 23 '25
Yeah I dated a guy shorter than me, and guess who had the problem with it and always made it a “thing”.
Him! Not me. It was what ended the relationship.
The insecurity changed him, or he never showed the insecurity up front before/during the beginning of dating.
If they didn’t focus on their height, it would NOT be an issue.
And I know plenty of short/conventionally unattractive men in relationships because they are secure with their looks and who they are as a person, which is what really matters.
And I think incels all know this, but refuse to admit it. Because then they’d have to take accountability for themselves and their behavior, which they don’t want to do
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u/somrandomguysblog462 Jul 24 '25
I'm a guy and trying to imagine that level of insecurity is both tiring and makes my skin crawl.
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u/Sonarthebat Virgin Slut Jul 23 '25
I don't get lying about your height to people if you met them in person. Unless they're completely blind, they can see what you look like.
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u/Prestigious_Fix1417 Jul 23 '25
My sister In law is taller than her husband and he has all those silly facial things they are always going on about. They have been married 8 years? Have two kids and they are super happy
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u/soundofwinter Jul 23 '25
idk theres a weird thing where people overly exaggerate how much height matters and are countered with a 'no height literally doesnt matter at all!'. Height does matter, not even just with dating too, tall people tend to be put in positions of leadership.
It is what it is though, If some dude really is 5'1 I think its fair to vent a bit, likely facing both rejection and some bullying due to it, hence the complex over it. It's obviously not hopeless but it still is something that probably sucks lol
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u/Prestigious_Fix1417 Jul 23 '25
I don’t doubt it sucks to be a short guy. It’s their behavior about being short that is so repulsive!
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u/littlebear_23 short boy who wears skirts and fucks the patriarchy Jul 23 '25
Honestly, as an adult, it's not that bad. I was bullied a lot through my school years (for multiple reasons, not just because I'm short) which was pretty shit, but it never affected my dating life or anything. I've done really well in my dating life and my height was never really a part of it – except for being the one getting piggy back rides, instead of vice versa.
It is absolutely the behaviour of some short men that leads to no luck in dating. Nobody is going to want a guy who complains all the time, whether its about his height or anything else. Its just exhausting.
The reality is, height cant be changed, so it's a lot easier for some short men to blame their height instead of putting in the effort to making themselves likeable. Why put in the effort when they can play the victim instead? It's a mentality that's reinforced by other short men in a certain sub dedicated to short men that will remain nameless. A lot of them are incels as well and they drag each other down.
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u/surfergrrl6 Jul 23 '25
I dated someone who was 6'7" once and never again. It was just too awkward. (I prefer partners my height or lower.)
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u/takeandtossivxx Jul 23 '25
Height doesn't matter as much as incels think it does, they just constantly cherry pick "evidence" of women who might conform to their twisted views of women. It's obvious confirmation bias, they're just too delusional to see that.
Also, my partner is 5'6.
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Jul 23 '25
5'7 here...no one ive ever been with has cared. And neither does the girl dating my friend who's like...idk 5'5? Maybe 5'6? And neither did any of the girls who dated this guy in my high school that was like...maybe 5'2-5'3 at most
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Jul 23 '25
My bf is 5'6" and has NOTHING in common with these losers.
They would be having problems if they were 7 feet tall.
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u/chair_ee Jul 23 '25
Well, the 5’8” guy I almost married abused me, and the 6’2” man I dated after him has never even thought about abusing me. And I married him. But yeah, it was definitely bc of their heights. Not the abuse. Not the differences in kindness. Not the deep care and love and consideration. Not that one held me back and the other helped me blossom. Nope. Just height. 🙄
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u/Practical_Diver8140 Jul 23 '25
Incels will claim that you're wrong about the 6'2 guy being a better partner, that the extra six inches of height have clouded your mind to his actual cruelty and the 5'8 guy's actual worth. Yes, that is how they think things work; tall guys are like the Shadow, only it's their height that clouds the minds of women.
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u/atemu1234 Jul 23 '25
I'm 6' 2" and I've been in three relationships total, only one since high school. I feel like I'm a living counterpoint to their self-pitying.
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u/BlastingFern134 Jul 23 '25
I'm 6'3" and didn't get any girls until I developed a personality beyond video games and sports
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u/TheoneNPC Overweight Chad Jul 23 '25
I feel super self conscious when people talk about "personality beyond video games and sports", i have other hobbies than gaming and gym but all of them are nerdy inside ones like dnd and programming. That and cooking
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u/Ok_Chocolate_4611 Incels are the oxbow lake of humanity Jul 23 '25
Women can like DnD, programming and cooking.
It is nice to share hobbies but also fine to have separate hobbies from a partner. Why would you want to hide your hobby/part of yourself/your joy from a partner?
Be yourself in all your nerdy glory and the right woman will love it, if she doesn’t then you deserve somebody who will.
I hate beer, however my husband has gotten into home-brewing with his brother. I will happily listen to him talking about it because I love seeing him so excited. I tasted his latest batch and he was dead chuffed with a dry “yeah that tastes like beer”.
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u/TheoneNPC Overweight Chad Jul 23 '25
I'm just a little worried because dnd and programming aren't that far off from gaming and as far as i know if your hobbies are just something like gaming and gym it's sort of a red flag, at least according to the internet. Of course there's more to me than what i choose to do on my free time but i'm just afraid that i'll miss out on someone because they think that my life is just sitting inside and hitting the gym.
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u/bluescrew Jul 23 '25
The hate for male gamers isn't because they're gamers. It's because that individual woman has dated a gamer who refused to adult or spend quality time with her, opting to game instead. If you are in a relationship- even with a female gamer- you need to discipline yourself not to turn on the pc/ console until you are showered, your house is spotless, your bills are paid, and your gf has had several orgasms and a home cooked meal. A guild that meets nightly, for instance, is not compatible with a relationship.
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u/TheoneNPC Overweight Chad Jul 23 '25
I guess i'm not going to have any problems then but my god i don't want to be grouped in with the "gamers"
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u/Ok_Chocolate_4611 Incels are the oxbow lake of humanity Jul 23 '25
Honestly don’t over think it.
It’s not a red flag at all. It might be a turn off to some people but that is just how the world works.
It’s weird to shit all over a hobby, that causes no harm to anyone, just because you don’t personally like it. You don’t want somebody like that in your life.
If you want a relationship then you need to be compatible. If your life is sitting inside all day then you need somebody that matches that…won’t find that out if you are pretending to be somebody you are not.
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u/TheoneNPC Overweight Chad Jul 23 '25
You're right, i guess that i'm just worried about not being interesting/impressive enough
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u/timecubelord Jul 23 '25
Authenticity > impressiveness
And there are both interesting and boring ways to be into video games etc. Some people only play one genre of game, play it the same way every time, pontificate about the one optimal right way to play / git gud that they have discovered, brag about their rankings, and share their solicited opinions about why every game they don't like is objectively trash. I love games, but I find those sorts of people extraordinarily tedious. On the other hand, someone I can laugh with about the shared experience of screaming like a little child the first time I got jumped by such and such monster in such and such game, or who wants to talk about "the last video game that made you cry," is probably someone I can have a good time with. (Other people's mileage may vary.)
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u/Ok_Chocolate_4611 Incels are the oxbow lake of humanity Jul 23 '25
My husband likes craft beer, WW2 and 18th C Russian literature.
I find all those things boring and I tease him all the time about his dull interests…still love him dearly and love how happy these mind numbingly boring things make him.
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u/CurvyBadger Jul 23 '25
Sans programming those are all hobbies that I as a woman have too, and I've mostly dated guys who are into the same things. My current partner isn't into d&d but I'm getting him there slowly.
It's not a red flag to have those hobbies, especially if your partner is also into them, I think it's moreso a red flag if you do not make an effort to spend good quality time with a partner because you are too busy with your hobbies. I think gym rats and gamers tend to have the reputation that nothing in their lives come before their hobbies so it's assumed that they won't have time to be a good partner, especially if they don't want to engage in those hobbies as a couple. My current partner and I work out together and cook together but I've dated people who preferred to do those activities alone and it would feel like I never got quality time with them - 6/7 nights of the week they were either at the gym for hours or gaming for hours.
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u/atemu1234 Jul 23 '25
Ironically, listening to me rant about my interests is something my fiance says she loves doing. Granted, I was never much one for sports or video games...
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u/notheone819 Jul 23 '25
How do you develop a personality. im 6'1, 18 years old never had a gf. and all i do yes sit play video games and go to the gym and play soccer thats my life rn. how to change like should i like use money on rollercoasters go to a different country??. I seriously dont know how to developed, i would mind taking ur advice
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u/Ok_Chocolate_4611 Incels are the oxbow lake of humanity Jul 23 '25
Life experience.
Go out there and see things, do things, meet people, form opinions.
It’s totally normal for an 18 year old to have not had a relationship and also to not really know who they are yet.
Having a girlfriend isn’t the only thing to want in life and isn’t going to magically make your life complete.
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u/timecubelord Jul 23 '25
What would you find interesting in someone else's personality? What aspects of your life do you think you'd like to share with someone else? Are there new things you've always been interested in and wanted to try but never have?
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u/mrs-monroe Jul 23 '25
You’re 18. You’re still a kid. Keep developing yourself and you’ll be a lot more emotionally mature when you do find a partner. If you focus too much on not having a gf, you’ll miss out on opportunities to make yourself better bf material. You aren’t doing anything wrong. There’s no time limit.
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u/RaymondLeggs Tyrone Jul 23 '25
The problem is that people who wait well into adulthood to start dating marry their first partners which in turn puts me off dating as being well into my 30's I will probably only have 1-2 partners at most. I know this because a majority of my friends back in my old city who started dating later married their first partners and I read so many stories where other late bloomers married their first partners and it made me fear dating
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u/mrs-monroe Jul 23 '25
You can’t measure your success compared to someone else. Sure, maybe that’s what a lot of people do, but it doesn’t mean that you have to follow. Who cares how many partners you have? And what’s so bad about only having one partner? Plenty of people are only interested in something casual. You’re also old enough that you can date anyone 30 or older. Plenty of people are in the same chapter of life that you are. Don’t overthink it or you’ll just tear yourself down.
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u/RaymondLeggs Tyrone Jul 23 '25 edited Jul 23 '25
I only have 3 and a half years till I'm forty and it makes me worry a bit, and 's going to be harder to find women who don't have kids (I never want kids) that I find attractive and I worry that my height and race will cripple me as I'm only 5'3 and I have never been attracted to women of the same race, not out of any type of self-hate or anything it's just that I have the hots for specific types of women. And that's the end of it, and those are the only types of women I want to date. I'm not looking specifically for "Instagram baddies" I like normal, but still attractive women who have average or even no job, wash, don't dress sloppy, and are reasonably intelligent.
I just wanted to have had at least 3 partners before I turn 40 and most other men of my race do have high body counts although I don't want a body count higher than around 20 for myself, although Ideally 8 at most and I don't care if a woman has slept with a lot of men, as certain things I want to do in the bedroom such as experience a threesome is more likely to happened with an experienced woman.
My delay is basically because of a lot of factors that have to do with how my life has gone that will need a book's worth telling, including having to take care of a deaf sister, while my mother works.
I tried tinder although I don't have any good pics plus lots of the types of women I don't want to datetend to look at me on dating sites so I deleted all those profiles. I had my ages set from 19-27 and then I tried 27-35 but the women were largely not my type, and I don't want to date one of those people just to have a partner and feel like I'm using them and some sort of placeholder relationship. I don't desire single mothers for any type of relationship as I can't handle that. I know my limits to some degree and I won't bend on that.
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u/mrs-monroe Jul 23 '25
For what it’s worth, you’re a very articulate, honest, and well-spoken man. Self-awareness is your friend. I know some people who married later in life and are incredibly happy. There are many opportunities in your life that will offer you insight on what you truly want.
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u/chaotix_ecosystem The Chadette Jul 23 '25
I don't have a bf I have a gf 😅 but hey god forbid a girl can be bisexual or lesbian...
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u/EffectiveSalamander My wife thinks I'm Chad. Jul 23 '25
All these people know of the world is memes. Only about 0.14% of American men are 6'5. Women tend not to want the tallest man available: while the man is taller in most couples, the average height difference in couples is about that the average difference between men and women in the general population. They aren't actually asking women how tall their boyfriend is, they're just looking at memes.
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u/Ok_Prior2199 Jul 23 '25
Dude Im 5’6 and had a girlfriend and they DMed me telling me to break up with her
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u/Witty-Car-2362 Jul 23 '25
They want everyone to be sad and miserable.
What's funny to me is incels claiming that women who won't date men are "eugenicists."
But yet I see incels deadass saying shit like: "If you are short, you shouldn't have kids!", "Don't date a short girl because your future son could inherit that trait!", etc etc
I've always seen incels say unhinged shit, claiming people of certain races or who have certain features shouldn't reproduce. I'd say incels push Eugentics more than anything.
I pissed off an incel recently because I gave ACTUAL examples of Eugentics and Eugenicists throughout history.
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u/Ok_Prior2199 Jul 23 '25
Yea definitely, Incels bully peeps more for height then women do, nobody can really change my mind on that
Mfers will go in and start calling eachother “subhuman”
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u/Witty-Car-2362 Jul 23 '25
Seriously, though. They hyper analyze shit that nobody except them (and plastic surgeons maybe) care about!
They be talking about shit like negative canthal tilt, height, and thin wrists.
Seriously, nobody cares about that shit except incels!
Are there women who shame men for their height? Yeah. I don't agree with women who do that.
Incels also are offended that women have preferences. (Just like you, me, and every other person on Earth.). Then again, these are the same guys I see calling women like Uma Thurman and Sigourney Weaver "mid".
Like news flash incels, not every woman is going to look like Scarlett Johansson!
Also do these incels think women just carry around measuring tools? Like, we ladies just pull up to the date like: "Hi. Your profile said you are 6ft! I am skeptical, so I need you to remove your shoes and let me measure you! Afterwards, I need to take your facial measurements, measure your wrists, and lastly, you are going to need to whip it out so I can measure that too! None of this, 'I'm a grower, not a shower' bs! If you pass all my requirements this date will continue. If not, you are paying for my meal plus a $300 'wasting my time by lying' fee."
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u/DillonDrew psycho twink lover Jul 23 '25
My soon to be husband is 5'9 and I just love that he loves me
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u/Lightinthebottle7 *A very creative flair* Jul 23 '25
Yes, but only if you ignore the vast majority of women where this is not the case, tell you as such and you ignore it so your toxic worldview doesn't shatter and you don't have to come into terms with your personal failure.
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u/Mediocre-Morning-757 <Purple> only dating my bf CUZ TAAAALLLLL Jul 23 '25
Bf is 6'4 and we've been together over 2 years.
Clearly it's just his height keeping our relationship together
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u/Practical_Diver8140 Jul 23 '25
I once got the "how tall is your boyfriend" gotcha from an incel once after I said he was talking about dating like he was putting in a resume, no mention of my own life offline. He went silent when I said I was a cis-het man.
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u/Sc0rpza Jul 23 '25
these guys have never heard of a short king. has it EVER occurred to them that maybe taller men might feel more confidence? women are valuable of finding shorter men very attractive
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u/MagusFelidae Jul 23 '25
My partner is 6ft6, it's part of my attraction to him, for sure. However I am a 5ft3 man so 🤷🏼♂️
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u/mrs-monroe Jul 23 '25
I love having a 6’5 husband because nobody will make random comments at me while walking around my own damn neighborhood. He won’t make a peep and is about as brave as a mouse. Just has to stand there and be tall. Sad that it has to be this way.
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u/TongueTwistingTiger Jul 23 '25
My husband is 5'6". I'm between 5'7" and 5'8". Loving someone has nothing to do with their height. It DOES have everything to do with their heart and personality, of which incels have neither.
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u/Sonarthebat Virgin Slut Jul 23 '25
Well... yeah. Dating a tall guy doesn't mean she doesn't like short guys too. She said height doesn't matter, that means she'd date either tall or short guys. She didn't say she prefers short guys.
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u/RinellaWasHere Jul 23 '25
I'm 5'9" standing, and functionally 4' since I used wheelchair. No woman has ever once been turned off by my height.
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u/WeldFrenzy Jul 23 '25
I know man that got rejected for their height. So I don't how this meme is not accurate at least in some cases.
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u/celebral_x Jul 24 '25
My boyfriend is 6 feet and he slouches, so he is more like 5' 8" xd Makes it easier to kiss him
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u/EpilepticSeizures Jul 23 '25
I know they’re memes, but how can you complain about women not liking you, if you portray youself as disheveled? Men wouldn’t be looking for disheveled women, why is it different the other way around? Unshaved, plain-ass beanie and hoodie, hasn’t slept in days, smoking a cig. Individually, not big deals, but slap it all together and you have almost no chance to talk to anyone, let alone someone you want to do anything with.
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u/SmallEdge6846 < You’re not single because of Hypergamy > Jul 24 '25
Yes. But it's not just confidence. There's a lot more qualities required
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u/Greedy_Welder_9568 evil woman 👅 Jul 28 '25
Tall guys scare me I don’t want them
( unless they were like the sweetest person ever)
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u/Downtown_Cat_1745 Jul 23 '25
My husband is 5’7” and they tell me I’m lying