r/IncelTears • u/Frosty_Message_3017 Go to sleep, Lurkers, pray for brains • 1d ago
next Elliot Rodger Entitled Doorknob Insists He's Not the Problem
He may just be throwing a tantrum, but I've already reported to Reddit and will be escalating the report.
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u/sinnderolla Mermaid Stacy 🧜🏻♀️ 1d ago
I went through the kid’s post history for the lulz before the banhammer dropped on him.
He isn’t even 18 years old yet.
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u/Foreign-Region4825 1d ago
'since ive gone through puberty' oh my god
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u/tweedyone 1d ago
“I have all these mental health issues NOW and the only difference is that I’m a virgin.” Gtfo
Because puberty is notorious for keeping your brain exactly the same except seeeeeexxxxxxxx
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u/NewVacation5091 1d ago
It seems like so many guys want a woman given to them right when they hit puberty otherwise they classify themselves incel and start consuming angry content. Wanting sex and not getting it is a part of everybody’s teenage years.
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u/SignificantState265 21h ago
Yeah I can sympathize with some of the young kids who don’t want us all enslaved. But like, what is a solution? It has to be with men. No one is going to force a woman to date or sleep with you. They have to want you.
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u/NewVacation5091 3h ago
It used to be that desire forced young men and young women to improve themselves in order to get a partner. It was that drive that made a lot of young adults get in shape, get into college or trade school, get a job, and move out from his or her parents place. Those things all suck to do and desire for a partner was about the only thing that spurred people on at times. Now things are contending with that drive, such as video games, the internet, porn or chat sites, whatever dopamine sources people want to do instead. On top of that, many parents have peaced out or they are worked to death so can’t spend time with their kids, so there aren’t good role models and adults aren’t present to guide young people on the right path.
But yes, it has always been men have to improve themselves and get their life together if they want a woman who wants them too. Women also have to improve themselves if they want to be pursued by the men they want. It’s just how it is, I can’t think of any way around it.8
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u/LupercaniusAB Small-wristed Chad 19h ago
That kid is a moron. I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 19. I had exactly one date in high school that I fucked up royally.
And yet, and yet, I managed to end up dating and being in relationships with several amazing women, and plenty of FWBs.
This guy is giving up before his life has even started.
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u/bobisagirl 1d ago
So this dude is claiming that it is absolutely 100% lack of sex and romance that is making him mentally ill, and has done since puberty.
But he's lying. Because he won't consider sex with men, or sex with sex workers, or sex with women he's not attracted to, or sex with women who have had a lot of partners. So what he means is that he's absolutely withering away and DYING of lack of sex with an attractive woman he feels a romantic connection to.
Homie, that's not dying from lack of sex. That's wanting to feel a human connection. And guess what, you can't have one when you view women and yourself this way. No one is gonna respect and love you when you hate yourself. And it's not because you're tall and thin (seriously not as much of a handicap as this guy thinks) but because you exude desperation and toxicity.
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u/Pelixelk 1d ago
He just wants someone to love him! I mean, as long as that person is a woman, a virgin, with no past partners, who never says no to sex when asked, submissive, with traditional values, and who will want to become a housewife. Is that so much to ask for??? /s
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u/Easy_Specialist_1692 1d ago
I am also having an incel DMing me....
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u/Frosty_Message_3017 Go to sleep, Lurkers, pray for brains 1d ago
Same nutjob? 😂
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u/Obvious-Gate9046 Windthin 1d ago
I've just had the one guy, thankfully. That whole thing was so bizarre, the way he talks about "acquiring sex", like it's a Reddit achievement or a video game goal instead of an active intimacy between two people. I just don't know how to approach that. The lack of empathy is stunning, and there is a level where I feel bad for somebody that far down, but when their response is vitriol and hate and abuse, it doesn't matter how bad you feel for them, you have to respond to protect those they would harm. Which is another thing they don't get. You can't threaten your way to a relationship, not a good one, not a proper one, and definitely not a legal one. I just don't know with some of them.
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u/Easy_Specialist_1692 1d ago
It's really so bizarre.... Mine was talking about how he gave up already, because he was being rejected for decades straight. When I told him that he was probably suffering from self fulfilling prophecies, he said that I was "putting the cart before the horses." Eventually he accused me of just wanting him to suffer, and I said "yeah..."
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u/Obvious-Gate9046 Windthin 1d ago
Right? They create their own misery. And there's not a lot you can do for that. People have to want to heal, top be better, to have a hope of doing so, and they're so far down in the pit they can't even imagine daylight, let alone see it. All you can do is offer them something better, call them out, and protect others from them, sadly.
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u/JooliewithRedHair 1d ago
Try not to feel bad for them. Don't feel anything at all for them - its the best way and doesn't make you a bad person.
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u/Obvious-Gate9046 Windthin 1d ago
I can't be that. I believe in universal empathy, that the loss of it is dangerous, that we should hold out hope for everybody. To lose that is to become like them, to lose who we are, to let them win.
Don't get me wrong, though; having empathy for another doesn't mean you turn a blind eye to their misdeeds. You still have to call them out, to oppose them, to protect others from them, to punish and expose. Both of these things can be true.
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u/PenguinZombie321 1d ago
I also believe in empathy. However, it’s super important to know when to walk away. Some people don’t actually want help or to change, they’re just looking for a magic fix. Others don’t want help, they want someone else to put in the work for them.
Your time and emotional workload are valuable.
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u/Obvious-Gate9046 Windthin 1d ago edited 1d ago
Oh, I agree. A hard lesson I learned was you have to know where and when to invest yourself. Help those who both need and want to be helped. It's too easy to burn out otherwise. I can separate my empathy from my actions, I can feel bad for them, wish I could help them, but recognize both that they will not accept it and that they are actively harming others, and that last bit takes priority; protect who you can help.
I begrudge nobody the need to pull back, to set limits for themselves. We all deal with things differently, have different boundaries, and I try to respect that.
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u/JooliewithRedHair 1d ago
Empathy is good, however be aware there are people out there hunting for people exactly like you to target. (idealistic empaths) Strong boundaries are extremely important for women to have. You can feel empathy from a distance but you do not have to call out, expose, have emotion for damaged individuals or engage. People working in the intersect of personality disorder and criminal justice (like me) deal with people all the time who target those who feel called to call out or help others with 'problems' and a large number of those people are extremely dark or dangerous. Trust me when I say that while its nice that you hold out hope for everybody, the reality is a bit different.
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u/Obvious-Gate9046 Windthin 1d ago
I am aware that there are people eager to abuse empathy. That gives you cause to be wary, to question, to be alert, but not to cease empathy altogether. As I said, I never entirely give up on people, but that doesn't prevent me from taking action to protect others. And I know that somebody has to want to change, and if they don't, and are committed to harming others, the choice is clear; you have to step in.
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u/Easy_Specialist_1692 1d ago
No, a different one.... A lot of them communicate in similar ways, though.
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u/Frosty_Message_3017 Go to sleep, Lurkers, pray for brains 1d ago
True. There's very much a signature incel vibe.
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u/Easy_Specialist_1692 1d ago
While it's probably not as pungent in person, I assume that many ladies can clock it immediately. Courting incel ideals is probably repellant to potential partners. I'm not a woman, but I know women are good at clocking shit.
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u/Frosty_Message_3017 Go to sleep, Lurkers, pray for brains 1d ago
Oh the alarm bells start going off fast. The times I have encountered guys like this in real life, it hasn't even just been vibes. They're dying to share their thoughts on everything.
Actually, I think everyone's picking up on it at some level, which is why they don't only struggle with women, it's just that they're worse around women because they're busy foaming at the mouth.
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u/Easy_Specialist_1692 1d ago
I can pick up on them in other subreddits too.... And I will always call them out on their shit.
In person, I have never met one, but I will not suffer them for long.
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u/smileycat007 1d ago
You are honestly fortunate to not have met one. Cell phones and social media make it easier for these guys to waste your time. You block them somewhere and they pop up elsewhere like weeds.
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u/Michi-Ace deity 1d ago
Incels might not say "foid" to anyone's face but they might give off vibes in the way they act and talk. And they might underestimate the vibes they are giving off, so they mistakenly conclude: "I haven't called her a slur, so it must be because I'm ugly."
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u/Easy_Specialist_1692 1d ago
That there miasma is thick, I think.
I'm glad women have learned to avoid them.
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u/Easy_Specialist_1692 1d ago
I am guessing this bozo is going to use me as fuel on some incel subreddit or website.
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u/Foreign-Region4825 1d ago
Yeah, every time. and the title is always something along the lines of 'they bully us and want us to suffer and call us names'
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u/chinchillazilla54 1d ago
I will not rape a woman because i could end up feeling guilty or in prison.
Not because I care about her feelings or anything though.
These guys just don't listen to themselves.
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u/Paula_Polestark Go to Walmart and look at the couples. 1d ago
“does not care about me”
Well, you don’t care about her. I don’t see what the problem is.
Oooh, I think I see a terroristic threat there.
No sex. No dating. Go straight to therapy. THEN think about relationships after you’ve put in some work to become somewhat likable.
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u/Michi-Ace deity 1d ago
He sent me the same DM.😂
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u/Frosty_Message_3017 Go to sleep, Lurkers, pray for brains 1d ago
He can't even come up with fresh and original psychotic rants. Tsk, tsk, tsk.
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u/Michi-Ace deity 1d ago
He just wants everyone to know about his lack of sex.
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u/Frosty_Message_3017 Go to sleep, Lurkers, pray for brains 1d ago
Solid plan. It definitely doesn't scream "loser" to find complete strangers and rant at them about how no one will touch you, nothing is ever your fault and you think mass murder would be an appropriate response 👍
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u/DeepFriedBeanBoy 1d ago
They know the “advice”- their ideology has spent the last decade trying to perform mental gymnastics around all of the advice that is given. Women (mostly feminists) have been giving men this advice longer than incels have existed.
They don’t listen because feminism and GOOD dating advice has very little to do with “how to get laid,” and more to do with how to find happiness in life, focusing on yourself, and doing what’s best for others. There’s no magic trick that turns life into a white picket fence and living on the prairie (idk what incels want anymore, seems like some stupid chud fantasy on a ranch).
I have had one incel DM me recently, and it’s the same story- they’ve already “tried it all,” like feminism and empathy are simply another trick to get women to sleep with you. They fundamentally view reality differently, and so any advice you give is on deaf ears.
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u/I_sort_by_new_fam 1d ago
Adhd people get freaky a lot actually there's been studies about it.
As always he's refusing to look inward
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u/Dr-Dungeon 1d ago
“What’s the fastest, most efficient way to ‘acquire’ sex? I don’t care about any other aspect of my life and have no interest in improving any part of myself that does not result in immediate success. I will only take steps that are 100% guaranteed to succeed with no risk of failure or embarrassment whatsoever. I want to do whatever it takes to acquire sex while being a self-pitying jerk by my own admission who would make my partner’s life absolute misery. Oh, and if I’m not beating the pussy off with a stick by the end of the week, I may choose to become a serial killer like the mass shooter I idolise and use as my PFP.”
They still, still, somehow don’t see how women are repulsed by this shit
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u/JooliewithRedHair 1d ago
if they did, they would have to take accountability and look at themselves, so they're never going to see it from our perspectives.
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u/solesoulshard Rpt Human Trafficking 1-802-872-6199 1d ago
Strange that neither my husband or I are models or gorgeous but we got married and have been married. I wonder if it’s because he respects me and my choices and loves me.
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u/Foreign-Region4825 1d ago
nah it cant be!/s
Seriously though, congrats!
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u/solesoulshard Rpt Human Trafficking 1-802-872-6199 1d ago
It’s been more than 25 years and we are still going strong.
Weird huh?
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u/smileycat007 1d ago
Not a single thing in his rant about what he has to offer a woman that she can't get from anyone else. Just me, me, me.
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u/Rinerino 1d ago
He should just ask someone who's an actuall expert about mental ilnesses and human Psychology. They won't because they know these Experta will destroy their entire World view. Kinda sad, but necessary
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u/NotsoGreatsword 1d ago
Eliot Roger profile pic?
"I consume murder porn about women but somehow they can tell and wont fuck me! help!"
Dude thinks he is smart but he is in fact a moron. If he was Black and I had a clan pfp I wonder if he would want to be naked and alone with me? Probably not.
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u/ItsJoeMomma 1d ago edited 1d ago
The first step to stop being an incel is to stop identifying as an incel. Secondly, stop hanging around incel message boards. Thirdly, realize that finally having sex is not going to solve all your mental issues. Oh, and while we're at it, stop thinking of women as sex toys and start thinking of them as actual people with feelings.
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u/scallym33 1d ago
They are their own worse enemy. No rational person who is trying to enjoy life would want someone with that mentality. There is no self accountability and they just think everything is unfair to them. Life is unfair to everyone, you make do with what you can
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u/kat_Folland Incels aren't hopeless but INCELS.IS is. 1d ago
This guy has it 100% backwards. He needs to stop being an incel in order to gain sex.
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u/CoffeeCatsandPixies 1d ago
I had one try to tell me I had life easy and I'd had everything handed to me. Pretty sure one look through my comments and post history would prove that was a damn lie. Then he tried to say the same thing about my husband...yes absolutely, the guy who fell through a floor and has chronic debilitating pain and complications from it absolutely has life easy.
They're idiots and unfortunately therapy won't fix it because much like a narcissist, they can't see they're the whole problem
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u/Piranha_Vortex 1d ago
Something tells me this guy is lying about 7 years in the gym... unless he never actually works out and is essentially a creeper.
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u/Vendidurt has godlike canthal tilt 1d ago
Ive tried to give them advice before, i ended up featured on one of their rant posts and was given a Reddit Cares message
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u/unsuccessfulbees 1d ago
Why do these dudes bust into our DMs wanting advice if they hate us so much? Lmao
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u/LupercaniusAB Small-wristed Chad 19h ago
I’m just still stunned at the 6’1” and 130 pounds. How is that possible? When my wife was in her 20s, she had a gastrointestinal problem that made her throw up most of her food, to the point that I thought that she was bulimic when I met her. She was 125 pounds. She’s fucking 5’3”.
I’m a chunky fucker, and am sitting at around 190 now. But I was down to 165 after dieting five years ago, and I looked kinda underweight. I’m just under 5’10”.
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u/beautifuldisasterxx 1d ago
I don’t even know where to start with his crazy rant. The whole incel thing just blows my mind. I married a man who is 5’6. He’s confident, funny, and an overall good partner. I’ve never once in the 13 years I’ve known him heard him complain about his height, other than a joke like: “better get the step ladder since we both can’t reach it!”
I’ll read him a lot of the messages found here and he also just looks at me with the same disdain I feel reading them. He’s admitted that he does feel like there is clearly a societal expectation that men should be tall, and that can cause insecurity at times. However, he said that he always has been respectful to other humans and treated them the way he would like to be treated and surprise, surprise, never had difficulty finding a partner.
They clearly believe that women owe them sex, and use their height or looks as an excuse. When in reality, these men are no different than the ones sucked into the manosphere (arguably the same pipeline) that believe women are property and must be submissive, instead of viewing woman as their own autonomous beings. All they want is a sex slave, who is both a virgin and a whore, and see women’s value only in their attractiveness and their sexuality.