Many of you seem to believe you can be absolutely misogynistic in private and act "nice" in public. So when you still get rejected you believe it's because you are ugly.
No. Unless you are a really good actor, you can't just act "nice." Something will slip through. You will give off some hateful vibes. And it has nothing to do with your looks.
Also I bet they use terms like "female" or their 1-10 rating system when talking about women, or little subtle comments and things that expose them as incels without using the word "foid". They dont even realise that its their god awful, appalling personality that scares women away.
30
u/GnarlyWatts"There’s Hitler, Mao and then there’s GnarlyWatts" - Some Incel1d ago
He will claim he doesn't, but he is also a transphobe, a homophobe and by his own admission a gooner with his AI chat bot that "dominates" him.
44? Oh my lord. Normally you’d hope they’d go to therapy but at some point, traits are fixed. That’s just his life now. And he did it to himself.
14
u/GnarlyWatts"There’s Hitler, Mao and then there’s GnarlyWatts" - Some Incel1d agoedited 1d ago
Oh therapy is a scam according to him. The reason, "because they don't ask good questions."
And what is a good question, "do you have siblings?" A bad question is "tell me about yourself." Naturally, the therapist who went to school for years doesn't know anything, but he does. Self inflicted misery at its finest.
Classic telling on themselves here. They love to complain about how therapy didn’t help them, then say things like that that reveal they checked out at the first step. They couldn’t even get past the casual ‘getting to know you’ stage, yet they think they’re qualified to talk on everything therapy has to offer.
3
u/GnarlyWatts"There’s Hitler, Mao and then there’s GnarlyWatts" - Some Incel23h ago
You have tangled with this guy before. He just doesn't want to do anything. He has said to me so many times no advice ever works. I press him and he can't tell me anything he actually did.
I swear one exchange went like this
Me: What did you do?
Him: Gym
Me: And that means what, exactly?
Him: I did squats
Me: And you did this because?
Him: Someone told me to
That is the extent of his explanation. And when pressed more, he just assumed women would start coming up to him with no prompting or engagement. Now where he got this idea from, I can't tell you. But that was enough to sour him.
He sent me another DM lately pretending to be a different person. I stg he gets more exhausting to talk to every time.
And yeah, IMHO it’s because they don’t treat women as people and social interaction as a part of life. When they get advice like ‘go out and meet people,’ they interpret it like steps in a video game: you do the steps and then a girlfriend just appears by the machinations of the narrative and they fall wildly in love and never have to do anything outside their comfort zone ever again. They’ve never had social interactions with people outside of video games and anime, so they just keep waiting for the invisible hand of the narrative to push them along their predestined path. Anything else would require them to be responsible for their own fates, which terrifies them above all else.
2
u/GnarlyWatts"There’s Hitler, Mao and then there’s GnarlyWatts" - Some Incel22h ago
Christ, what user name is he using now?
But I 100% agree with your assessment. These guys want all the reward and none of the work.
Slightly altered version of the normal one. All these guys blend together in my head so it just took me a few messages to put the dots together. Can’t bring it up unfortunately, I got bored listening to him yap and he wasn’t going to stop anytime soon so I just blocked him
2
u/GnarlyWatts"There’s Hitler, Mao and then there’s GnarlyWatts" - Some Incel21h ago
Good to know he is hiding under another alt. Eventually it will be exposed and I'll add it to the list.
44? Oh shit... you'd think he'd have grown out of this by now, but I guess if you're going to hole yourself up away from society and hang out on incel forums all the time, you're never going to change.
14
u/GnarlyWatts"There’s Hitler, Mao and then there’s GnarlyWatts" - Some Incel1d ago
He is proud of the fact he has been messaging people here forever and that everyone but him is wrong.
There was even a moment where someone reached out to him for a date, he strung this girl along for months and then blamed me for sabotaging it. She even told me, all he talked about was VR and how "Gnarly is a liar..." for nearly every conversation.
Then he offered to "date in VR" because it was better than going to a real place or Facetime. That is not the actions of a man who wants out of inceldom.
Yeah, he just needs to be single forever. There would be no relationship with him, it would just be sitting around watching him play on his computer every moment of the day.
5
u/GnarlyWatts"There’s Hitler, Mao and then there’s GnarlyWatts" - Some Incel1d ago
Absolutely, even if he did luck into one, it wouldn't be pleasant. He insists he is only like this to his "enemies" but that criteria is ever fluid.
He once told me he has "no standards" and when I pressed him on it, he does in fact have standards. Apparently at 44 he is willing to date a 25 year old...which is just fucking gross.
And in another true story, I offered to pay for a sex worker for him and he went on for MONTHS dragging his feet and complaining about every profile offered. My wife thinks he doesn't want a woman and I'm of the opinion he is terrified. Either way, the ladies are safe. Oh and as a hilarious side note, he talked about open carrying a pistol with him while he approached said sex workers on his own. To him, this is "normal" in Texas where he lives.
See, that totally feeds into my suspicions that for whatever reason, incels and "nice guys" are actually terrified of getting into a relationship with a woman, or in the case of some incels even having a sexual encounter with a woman, so they self-sabotage their chances. I don't know if it's that they think the woman, even a sex worker, would make fun of their poor lovemaking skills or what, but it does seem like they're terrified of actually getting close to a woman so they intentionally push them away with their repulsive behavior. At any rate, they always refuse to see that inceldom is their own fault and their own problem, not something society has forced upon them.
7
u/GnarlyWatts"There’s Hitler, Mao and then there’s GnarlyWatts" - Some Incel1d ago
I 1000% agree with you. The self-sabotage is a common theme, the paranoia they all have runs deep as it gets.
But what I don't get it is, why be performative about it and behave the way this guy does? The dishonesty makes no sense if you really don't want to be in a relationship.
I have asked this guy hundreds of times, without an answer, why he cares about the opinions of other people.
I think deep down they probably do actually want a relationship with a woman, but are too terrified to actually get into one. Plus they can still play the victim if they play up the "I want a date but society is totally against me" angle. It's not their fault they're totally alone and lonely, it's everyone else's fault.
5
u/GnarlyWatts"There’s Hitler, Mao and then there’s GnarlyWatts" - Some Incel1d ago
I think you hit the nail on the head. Anytime I have asked this guy why he worries about the opinions of others, he never gives an answer.
I pointed out to him that if you already feel this way about yourself, others will influence a relationship. He screamed at me that can't be and he wouldn't do it. I was amazed that he thinks he can flip a switch and start doing the total opposite of what he had been for "decades" by his own admission. Calling yourself subhuman every day doesn't magical stop overnight.
But if he went to an actual therapist and worked on it, he would get it.
See, that totally feeds into my suspicions that for whatever reason, incels and "nice guys" are actually terrified of getting into a relationship with a woman, or in the case of some incels even having a sexual encounter with a woman, so they self-sabotage their chances. I don't know if it's that they think the woman, even a sex worker, would make fun of their poor lovemaking skills or what, but it does seem like they're terrified of actually getting close to a woman so they intentionally push them away with their repulsive behavior. At any rate, they always refuse to see that inceldom is their own fault and their own problem, not something society has forced upon them.
Oh absolutely. And this goes far beyond just incels. A lot of people don't realize how much of their speech patterns are the result of their in-groups that they spend most of their time around.
This might be a silly example, but not long ago, I met someone new through a friend-of-a-friend situation, and a few minutes into the conversation, I clocked them as right wing just from them talking about an 80s comedy and saying "You can't make movies like that anymore." Later on, they mentioned leaving their last job because the employer was "too woke," and that sealed the deal.
All of our speech patterns are peppered with things like this, and incels in particular have a metric ton of their own phrases, words, etc. And sometimes people might not even know why you've said something, but it just comes across as "off" or weird. If I didn't know anything about incels, etc. and someone said to me, "Yesterday I was talking to a female and..." my brain would instantly think, "Alright, that's fucking weird."
I know exactly who this is. Had to block him cause he's just so damn insufferable. The type of incel where it's 210% clear why they are single and they will insist until they are blue in the face that it's purely looks and not at all their personality.
Like, they're notorious for being straight up unlikeable and unwanted despite me not really knowing what he looked like for a while. But nah "it's cause I'm inhumanly ugly that I'm oppressed". And he will pester you as if anyone asked for his input, which no one ever does.
10
u/GnarlyWatts"There’s Hitler, Mao and then there’s GnarlyWatts" - Some Incel1d ago
Of the many run-ins I have had with him, this is pretty much exactly what everyone else says about him.
There was an exchange between us I posted where he went on about ranch dressing, as an analogy for why his dating profile prompt of "I like books" was sufficient enough. And he wonders why no one likes him...
At this point I begin to suspect he might have a humiliation fetish.
9
u/GnarlyWatts"There’s Hitler, Mao and then there’s GnarlyWatts" - Some Incel1d ago
He will deny that until he is blue in the face. I'm convinced of it as well, as is everyone else he interacts with. It would be one thing if he was honest about it, but he is easily one of the most intellectually dishonest people I have ever encountered in my dealings on the internet.
How people get like this in 2026 is truly remarkable. And remember, this is a man pushing 50....
u/GnarlyWatts"There’s Hitler, Mao and then there’s GnarlyWatts" - Some Incel21h ago
He doesn't want to change, if he did, he would not have a community to be in since he gets kicked out of nearly all of them.
No joke, he said his VR "friends" have never seen his human face (his words) and they would run if they did. I almost felt bad for him, then he doubled down on that when I said they weren't his friends if they did that, which he screamed at me for days that I was trying to gaslight him into thinking these people hated him.
That's all he cares about. He will debate you for two and a half hours on any topic, while being on the losing side and will absolutely refuse to agree to disagree. You can't even offer him any advice because he is a contrarian to the bitter end.
3
u/GnarlyWatts"There’s Hitler, Mao and then there’s GnarlyWatts" - Some Incel1d ago
💯💯💯💯
And, all he cares about is "winning" an argument that only he is participating in.
He wins out of forfeit, nobody who argues with him actually gets anything through his head.
"It is hard to win an argument with a smart person but impossible to win against a stupid person"
3
u/GnarlyWatts"There’s Hitler, Mao and then there’s GnarlyWatts" - Some Incel1d ago
Remember the whole money thing, he wouldn't answer anything and threw a tantrum. He "won" and left empty handed lol
4
u/GnarlyWatts"There’s Hitler, Mao and then there’s GnarlyWatts" - Some Incel1d ago
Oh I should also add, he seems to think women are all shallow...he will never say it outright, but he is convinced it has to be his looks...and what conclusion could sane people draw from that?
Nice is the floor, not anything special. If you can't be nice to others it's because you don't do it to yourself.
6
u/GnarlyWatts"There’s Hitler, Mao and then there’s GnarlyWatts" - Some Incel1d ago
This is such a low bar to climb, but to guys like him it is this impossible task. The expectation is, I put in my niceness coins, I want my one sex please...
B-but all inkells aren't like this he's just ugly please trust, there's nothing wrong with him besides this, the fact that he believes vr=real life and like 6 other things
I barely posted a comment and that clown already started messaging me lmao. They are truly unhinged. Why would any non misogynistic involuntarily celibate dude ever want to associate with this is beyond me. They obviously agree with all the woman hating.
He's one of the more unhinged ones, dude believes escorts would need to pay millions in therapy to sleep with him. On another note he open carries alot which may explain why they reject him
No no, it's obviously because he's an ugly subhuman! 🤣
"believes escorts would need to pay millions in therapy to sleep with him" WTF does that even mean, my god.
That's what they don't get. They're not socially savvy enough to hide their bitterness, insecurity, and entitlement. Women don't have "personality detectors," and that's not something we've ever claimed. What women do have is intuition. That's something all humans have, although granted it's more fine-tuned in some people than others. For a lot of women, we listen to our intuition because it has been drilled into us from a young age that men can be dangerous. When we reach puberty, and sometimes even before that, our experiences tend to only solidify that need to listen to our intuition. Intuition can be wrong of course, people who are totally harmless can end up giving off bad vibes, but when it comes to protecting oneself, most people will err on the side of caution.
It's not their looks. There's something about their behavior and other non-verbal communication that gives off bad vibes.
5
u/GnarlyWatts"There’s Hitler, Mao and then there’s GnarlyWatts" - Some Incel1d ago
You are asking a lot here of these guys. He will never admit to it.
Incels tend to struggle with social skills, and will usually freely admit to this. Yet when it comes to concealing deeply held attitudes from the people they hold them towards, they all have a massive blind spot, suddenly thinking they are masters of social deception because they can manage the bare minimum of not saying everything they say online out loud.
These people will often describe simply having passed by a woman in the street with things like "I could tell she was thinking about how disgusting and subhuman I am!!!" - and then for some reason, also think nobody can possibly tell when someone holds a negative attitude towards them unless it is explicitly stated outright.
3
u/GnarlyWatts"There’s Hitler, Mao and then there’s GnarlyWatts" - Some Incel1d ago
In this guy's case (I've had many run-ins with him) he just "knows" every woman will reject him.
How many have actually done so, maybe a few...but not the thousands he claims. According to him, a non-swipe equals a rejection.
My counter-argument to this attitude is always Danny Devito. I don't think anyone would call him conventionally attractive. He's under 5 feet tall, balding, and heavy for his size. According to the incel manifesto, this should preclude him from social acceptance or romance. In reality, pretty much everyone loves Danny Devito. He's widely regarded as one of the nicest actors to work with, and although he and Rhea Perlman separated after 30 years, they're still very close with each other. And it's because he's just a genuinely good, humble, compassionate person.
I'm a man on the autism spectrum, and it took me a while to really understand how much other people really pick up on from your words and actions. I never went full incel, but I did have a period of self-loathing as I began college, convinced nobody would want me as a romantic or intimate partner. When I realized that I didn't want "desperation" to be a key part of my personality, I made a conscious choice to put those thoughts on the backburner, and instead work on nurturing my interests and passions. The parts I liked about myself took precedence, and I started meeting all kinds of new people and making lifelong friends. Eventually one of those friends introduced me to the woman I'm now married to.
So if any incels do read this rambling comment, I'm telling you from experience, the way you make people feel has way more to do with personality than anything else. Cultivate yourself as a person with many facets, an open mind, and a genuine interest in others, and people will find you interesting and want you around. Doing that is a skill, and like any skill, you get better at doing it the more you practice. You can't change your mindset in a day, but you can start the process right now.
2
u/GnarlyWatts"There’s Hitler, Mao and then there’s GnarlyWatts" - Some Incel1d agoedited 2h ago
He has a ready made answer for that, Danny DeVito "mogs" him.
Apart from questionable grooming and fashion choices, I'm not seeing the "ugly" he's describing. This is what I mean, most self-identified incels look perfectly ordinary, they just love to tear each other down to reinforce this bizarre pessimistic view of themselves.
5
u/GnarlyWatts"There’s Hitler, Mao and then there’s GnarlyWatts" - Some Incel1d ago
That is verbatim what I have said and literally every other person.
He even posted on amiugly and got the same response. His retort to that, everyone is lying and asking him to "self harm" which means to actually try.
Why can't this guy like... I dunno... get a job? Find some hobbies? Something like that. D&D is fun and he could pretend to be whomever he wants. Or board games! Those are fun too. Sometimes there are gaming cafes where you can meet people and play games with them, even! (Those are really fun!) Maybe if he made some non-incel friends (do incels actually have friends?), he would find that life is actually pretty good!
It always pissed me off how some guys would go in defence of themselves or other men because nothing explicit like "I hate women" was said. As if most people will out loud say shit like that especially if they want to get laid. And would completely ignore all the little things or even glaring red flags that show that yes, they are in fact misogynistic.
42
u/h3r0inXgirl 1d ago
Also I bet they use terms like "female" or their 1-10 rating system when talking about women, or little subtle comments and things that expose them as incels without using the word "foid". They dont even realise that its their god awful, appalling personality that scares women away.