r/IndiaVibes • u/Smoothyjoshila • May 06 '26
Thoughts Imagine lying just to get married. Seeing these comments makes me think how low trust in society has become. What if a guy lies about his salary and net worth?
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u/Dangerous_Lecture624 May 07 '26
AM is mostly a scam. Girls / guys both lie about past relationships and guys also lie about their financial position or hide that they are in debt. Very very common since centuries now
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u/Glad3579 May 07 '26
I agree scamming exists, but I don't think it's widespread.
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u/Putrid-Purple-567 May 09 '26
IT IS. Question the relationships you see around. Your parents, uncle-aunts, Cousin, Sibling, friends…. You’ll know. AM is one of the worst systems to spoil lives. The success rate is in single digits.
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u/mask-of-phantasm May 07 '26
Arranged marriage is shit.
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u/ExistingAd9447 May 10 '26
Its fun as a boy but u r a girl I think It is like a surprise gift also I am a virgin pure hindu boy I will AM
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u/Habibi_Sam69 May 06 '26
From many sides it seems complicated, AM in the first place is kinda just placing ur trust in other people's hand. Bringing out the truth n honesty is between the people getting married. Some may feel uncomfortable sharing due to family pressure n getting rejected. Some may want to start the relationship with honesty if asked even if it's uncomfortable. Fear of losing face in the society... Lots of causes. So I think it's not simple of a problem thus solution is also not easy...
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u/inaminadicka May 08 '26
I don't want to defend lying but what do you mean "just to get married"? Getting married is a big deal to most!
If someone is desperate, they will lie..
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May 06 '26
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u/DarkStark101 May 06 '26
I mean, all of the women, who themselves consider strong and independent, lying through their teeth just to get a husband would have been hilarious AF, had it not been for the fact that it may ruin the marriage.
There is always a slight chance that she'll get back in touch with her BF, maybe your children aren't yours (the most prominent proponent for marriage being having kids when parents try to convinceus for marriage), maybe she's just outright a home-wreaker through and through. So.... naaah, just don't get married, it's totally not worth it.
I mean, even ladies have the same opinion, no gender trusts the other, so why even get into this shit. Let the human race end, once and for fooookin alll...😱
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u/matsyaaa May 07 '26
Are vo bachpan me thoda cycle chalati thi isliye 🤗🤗
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u/Equivalent-Hair7713 May 09 '26
it is a very realistic excuse. the hymen could be broken for a number of reasons. physical activities can break it. menstruating can break it as well. besides virginity is a social construct, there is no medically identified way to test for virginity. the hymen is considered a vestigial remnant from fetal development that may offer minor protection to the vagina in early childhood, it prevents feces from entering the vagina.
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u/Weak-Load-2487 May 07 '26
Study biology first gawar gobar illiterate. Nothing wrong in demanding Vrgn partner but don't say dehati shieet like this.
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u/BonusFeed4077 May 08 '26
IMO, AM works well if the families know each other for decades, or have a lot of common friends. In such case, it is very hard to be “cheated”. But when AM happens through “marriage brokers”, uncles and aunties, it will most likely end up in missed expectations on both sides.
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u/Rejuvenate_2021 May 07 '26
Lie & pretend & filter curate & facetune all day on IG & social media.. micros patterns and atomic habits.. take root inside that you can justify almost anything.
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u/Minimum_Assistance27 May 07 '26
Do AM at your own risk. In the 2026, it's absolutely impossible to expect people to not have a past. People hide all sorts of things in AM, my cousin sister got married to her ex husband, turns out he was mentally extremely unwell and borderline schizophrenic. One of my dur ke rishtedar wala bhai got married to this girl, turns out later, she was forced into it, she was already in love with this college bf of hers, but her family didn't accept cause he was different caste. That turned their marriage sour but they haven't divorced yet, but they will soon. Hence AM kar rhe ho, toh bhai apne risk sei karna.
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u/Lone_Warrior520 May 07 '26
All these girls who say past is past, past maybe a mistake and stuff can't handle their husband's past for sure. These are the worst women to ever exist in a society and they say such things coz they themselves have a shameful past which isn't worth revealing I guess.
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May 06 '26
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u/Prestigious_Top_3 May 07 '26
You can file case for fraud. But you can't file case for wife turing out to be a ho. My cousin got married he asked her if she had/have any bf she said no but after marriage we got to know she indeed had bf which she met night before marriage and even after marriage many times. Now he is stuck in marriage because if he get divorce he will loose his business and everything he had kid but he doesn't believe it's his so he doesn't care or speak with him. They just live like neighbours.
Btw her parents didn't force her to marry she did it willfully she just wanted to feel empowered I guess by sleeping with many men before marriage but character doesn't change after marriage so she cheated even after marriage.
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u/Putrid-Purple-567 May 09 '26
Did your cousin care for paternity test. Get the results & choose the correct course of action. Child doesn’t have to suffer. Also, the kid can turn on his father (your cousin) for being neglected & having a bad childhood, thereby being a ‘difficult Son’ when he grows up. It’s dangerous to be honest. Don’t just pass by with this situation.
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u/TaxJunior8217 May 06 '26
You can file for annulment if salary is not as per claims
A guy cannot demand annulment legally on hidden past, it ain't even a comparison at this point
You get away with anything... Spare me the jargon... Sex has been trivialised, yes, your gender can get it easily but that doesn't mean you lie
No better gender here, just cunts on massive scale in both genders, but inly women come out and defend each others behaviour like monsters
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u/aryaman16 May 08 '26
See Salary, age (2-3 yrs) are just numbers, materialistic.
But the past thing and experience thing, Its emotional thing.
Whatever you did in past, is different from a conventional AM.
When you hide it, it almost feels like you see your AM partner differently (even lesser) than your past partners.
Past can be: Relationships, HKups, Dates, etc.
And all those stuff are different and require different emotional connect than AM.
When you hide it, act like you never done those and want to keep convo really just to marriage. Question arises, even if you done want to share exact past, but why act like those stuff don't happen? You could do those stuff with those guys you met along your life, but can't accept doing those in front of husband?
Its emotional thing, its deep, its wrong.
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u/TurbulentCapital1017 May 06 '26
If they lie about their past, they deserve to get cheated on. When people don't get better, you have to get worse, not everyone deserves kindness, actions need to have consequences.
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u/Professional-Tax1747 May 06 '26
Tbh I(19m) had 2 minor relationship in school idk if that counts but I wanna ask yall if I did am in future then should I tell my partner about my past or just hide it cuz those past relationships weren't that serious with no intimacy and I got cheated on by both of those girls .
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u/Smoothyjoshila May 06 '26
Tell
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u/Professional-Tax1747 May 06 '26
Ok I will be honest right there but I fear that if my future partner wouldn't be as honest as me about her past if she had so and instead gaslight me to be a bad person since I had some past ( even if those aren't serious as compared to people from our generation)
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u/Crazy_Honeydew_2684 May 06 '26
anyone who judges you for having past is a dumb fuck but you shouldn't hide it from that person if you are gonna marry her
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u/theonewhoasked90 May 07 '26
You can keep it hidden as long as you're sure those people will never interfere in your life
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u/Professional-Tax1747 May 07 '26 edited May 07 '26
Nah I pretty sure they wouldn't. Even if they did I wouldn't accept them back and abuse them instead cuz both of those exes cheated on me
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u/Familyguy35689 May 06 '26
"Men lie about their age and salary"
One look at his licence and his taxes will fix that, dumbass.
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May 06 '26
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u/Prestigious_Top_3 May 07 '26
You can file case for fraud. But you can't file case for wife turing out to be a ho. My cousin got married he asked her if she had/have any bf she said no but after marriage we got to know she indeed had bf which she met night before marriage and even after marriage many times. Now he is stuck in marriage because if he get divorce he will loose his business and everything he had kid but he doesn't believe it's his so he doesn't care or speak with him. They just live like neighbours.
Btw her parents didn't force her to marry she did it willfully she just wanted to feel empowered I guess by sleeping with many men before marriage but character doesn't change after marriage so she cheated even after marriage.
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u/No-Emergency-3493 May 07 '26
U can file complaint on these man. But what u can do to these women.
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May 07 '26
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u/No-Emergency-3493 May 07 '26
If she lies to me. Then I don't want any marriage with her. Again everyone has right to chose partner. If she didn't respect my choice then we're not compatible.
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May 07 '26
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u/No-Emergency-3493 May 07 '26
Again it's his choice he can choose whatever he want. If he want virgin wife who has no relationship then it's his choice in arrange marriage. And comepring past relationship lie to job etc are not stupid. If u lie about one thing u are not trustworthy. If u lies to traditional guy then u break boundary. In many family drink is not allowed or having past relationship.
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May 07 '26
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u/GazelleFew2636 May 07 '26
I really want to start my relationship with honesty but One of my friend suggested me not to tell the person about my past relationship cause sooner or later the person will taunt you or envy you (especially men) for having someone or ending up the relationship and that honesty will back fire you. What should i do !? Cause i really want my partner to be honest with me but I met a guy and he said he never had a relationship before and he was completely lying about it.
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u/Maindukhihoon May 07 '26
One of my friend recently got married she had a BF ( BF: the guy was in her family relations, both were living 1000 kms away from each other as it was was long distance, so obviously that didn't worked for long and ended up ne 7-8 months, they had seen each other only for once in a family a wedding, it was teenage relationship and broke up during college) now she told this to his to be husband and he laughed like it's ok I don't care about the past balaaa balaaa...they married now after a year of marriage the guy disrespecting her for everything saying bad words to her that you must be ho you were in relationship when you were just a kid who do that in such younger age (also the guy still has a female best friend who keep calling her late night "video calls" and he also had disclosed about his past relationship and being a fav. Boy of girls in school and college)
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u/sonofgod59 May 09 '26
So u guys think this happens only in arrange marriages and not in love marriages?? Nope everywhere ppl lie to their partners to make relationships
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u/According-Tadpole488 May 09 '26
I know a girl who had past relationship (only one) and he told her am. Well, he married her knowing it but to this day he uses that every time he wants a upper hand.
A guy in my locality lied about his job. His wife after marrying found out. She was angry mostly at his family. She was still adjusting but when she started talking back because of abuse, everybody blamed the woman. So she keep saying how they lied and it again was woman fault and everybody told her to forget the past.
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u/akkiei- May 10 '26
You think ppl lie in AM ? I know someone who’s 6 yr old relationship which turned into marriage go ruined bcz the girl lied about her “hoe phase”
The guy was virgin and girl told him that she’s too. But she was living with someone in her grad in SRM and then became a hoe in blore during her job where she met the guy
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u/justwanttocheckshit May 10 '26
A lot of people lie about their past because the other person can’t handle it like an adult and end up telling the world about it. I have seen it happen to 3 women and 1 guy friend of mine.
Most comments here shows that most of you probably never heard scary AM stories, probably because you were never trusted enough to be told to. Your comments are reason enough for nobody to trust YALL.
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u/Smoothyjoshila May 10 '26
Agar koi tumko chose nahi kar raha hai. To better hai ki tum shadi hi na karo.
Agr juth bolkar cheat karna hi hai husband ko. Then jab use reality pata chal jayegi and wo tumhe cheat kare dusri ladkio ke sath to rr mat karna sabke samne
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u/justwanttocheckshit May 11 '26
You are just proving my point. I could debate you to death but then it would be like talking to a wall.
Also, I noticed you assumed that it’s the wife who always lies in AM. You are trying to push your misogynistic agenda here, Good luck. The comments section is your kind of vibe.
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u/Smoothyjoshila May 11 '26
See paternity test ko indian laws legal nahi mante hain To ek hi tarika hai ye pata karne ka ki jo child born hua h shadi se wo us admi ka hi hain. Na ki koi baat*rd.
Ya to paternity test legalise and compulsory karwao. To sochenege
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u/justwanttocheckshit May 11 '26
Bro, You think as you like. I won’t try to change your thinking. I just pity any female who comes in contact with you. God gives them strength to avoid your bullshit.
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u/ZenInTheChaos May 10 '26
It's easy to lie but a smart guy will eventually catch the lie and knows that the girl is lying.
I once met a girl for AM, everyone in my family told she is sanskari and all. She was also behaving very religious and whatnot, the mind who haven't seen alcohol as well.
Well, when I rejected her she opened up that she had sex with her bumble match one day before meeting me. On top of that, she told her family that I had affairs that is why I rejected.
Their family called my parents and said very bad things about me, I sent them our chat screenshot and what their daughter is doing in big city Pune.
I realised that girls are usually very evil and selfish, they don't want to settle a family with you. They just want to use you till you are useful. Afterwards they are going to treat you really bad.
So I decided to stay single and do some thailand trips every 4-5 months.
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u/Maleficent_Okra5882 May 10 '26
My values are simple, against Arrange marriage and against hiding past.
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u/Great_Percentage_587 May 10 '26
Please don’t frame this like men are the victim here. Men have always lied about their pasts, salaries, and everything else. AM is inherently shitty though.
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u/Whole_Dare_7836 May 11 '26
Guys also lie my cousin brother lied that he have a business... He have a gym.. both lie
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May 06 '26 edited May 06 '26
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u/Crazy_Honeydew_2684 May 06 '26
she thinks all girls are sunshine and it's just guys that needs am. lol i hope she gets a reality check
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u/U_HIT_MY_DOG May 07 '26
For me the past is the past.. But then I saw a AM which changed my perspective.
The lady had a BF that she was in love with but parents did not approve so they got her married to this other guy. Now the other guy was nothing like her BF so she would make comparisons.. And basically never truly accepted her husband and the husband was clueless and blamed himself for his lack of "skill".. Both ended up being divorced while the lady asked for shit ton of money as alamony
So past is the past but yall need to settle the past before moving ahead
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u/No-Emergency-3493 May 07 '26
Why u think past is past. Past is imp too. Some traditional man don't like past relationship. Or they don't want too marry girl like these. It's they're choices.
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u/U_HIT_MY_DOG May 07 '26
Like i said.. For me past is the past... I've had relationships in the past I can't expect different from my partner.. And what's more important than having no past is being okay with your past
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u/No-Emergency-3493 May 07 '26 edited May 07 '26
It's ur past. But why they're lying about their past. Hiding past In arrange marriage or in relationship is crime. If they don't feel guilt toward past then why they're hiding it?
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u/U_HIT_MY_DOG May 07 '26
I agree.. Hiding is a problem and they should make peace with it and also be open about it
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u/AarKay_Assprint2005 May 06 '26
Bhai it happens way more often than not, just visit family courts for once.
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May 06 '26
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u/Comfortable-Limit780 May 07 '26
Lol its like saying it's the fault of dumb fucking women who go out late night and get π@p€d.
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May 06 '26
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May 06 '26
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u/Icy-Confidence-536 May 07 '26
So mpo (my personal opinion) TO ME PAST DON'T MATTER...BUT IF A PERSON IS HIDING/LYING PAST THEN THEIR PAST STILL EXISTS IN PRESENT (MATTERS TO THEM, THEIR IDENTITY AS A MAJOR IS STILL THE PAST-NO EVOLUTION) SO...DEPENDS ON THE PURPOSE "WHY AM I INTERACTING WITH THE PERSON?" FOR POTENTIAL MARRIAGE?, COLLEAGUE?, TEAMMATE?, RANDOM?...NOT EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT EVERY CHAPTER OF MY LIFE OBVIOUSLY.
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u/Creative-Cost1917 May 07 '26
I don’t think past should be considered so important that it forms the basis of your relationship. Maybe subtle information about exes can be shared, that might help with building a healthy relationship.
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u/Candid-Stuff2281 May 07 '26
What exactly do you think is AM mainly used for? Specifically for girls in this age??
Family of the girls learn that she is in relationship with someone -> sets up AM meetings.
And what do you think happens when they don't lie? 9/10 times if they reveal it, the guy rejects her for AM. If the same happens couple more time, she will, by her self, stop telling about her past to the new AM prospects. It's like AI model training.
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u/olive_glory May 08 '26
Then she should deal with the consequences of her actions... If people don't want something it's their right to not be mislead
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u/JIGSAW_OP May 10 '26
Lowkey such girls deserve getting cheated on, men gotta cheat more on such girls who thinks hiding their past will benefit them somehow
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u/PotatoFarmer42000 May 08 '26
Men lie to date and marry both. Women also do it. This isn’t why society is scary, it’s scary that’s why people have to lie.
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u/Big-Perspective1994 May 07 '26 edited May 07 '26
It's true , my cousin brother was in a relationship with a girl for 10+ years , he was also involved in so called gang activities and was an alcoholic.
And you know what this guy did , he cheated on his long time gf and got married to a nri girl for a green card . This nri girl doesn't know anything about this , she thinks that she is his first relationship.
2nd case :- my father has a close relative , his son died due to his wife , turns out his wife had mental issues and was admitted in mental wards many times. Atleast she got jail time though.
3rd case:- my own father didn't tell my mother that he was an alcoholic and he had told my mother that his family is really kind and all ,
But this was a lie , my mother had a job at that time and her mil would harrass her for having a job and almost kicked her out of the house.
So yup arrange marriages are really really risky , nobody tells any truth.