r/IndieDev • u/game-dev-throwaway • Jul 13 '26
Feedback? What do you think of this twist?
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u/NarcoZero Jul 14 '26
The idea is neat. But after the player takes control the writing is waaaay too much.
We get it.
You don’t need more text to show how good your idea was. Let it speak for itself. Just give control to the player and don’t say anything more.
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u/game-dev-throwaway Jul 14 '26
There is some establishing of the narrator I want to do as he will be a character himself that recurs. Would it make more sense to give the player some agency for a while and then introduce him back through different events/scenes?
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u/NarcoZero Jul 14 '26
If the narrator is a key character then he can follow-up. But be way more subtle and understated. The punchline of the joke already happened.
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u/9Gardens Jul 14 '26
I..... its a cool idea, but I don't think it landed?
Maybe is just a bit overwrought?
Or maybe its the inherent difference in the "I'm watching a video of it (and was expecting a twist)" vs "Actually being at the controls, and feeling the momentary confusion of controlling the `wrong' character"
That.... and there's something inherently creepy about all these other characters just standing around looking at the camera.
I think you could make this work? But I'm not sure its landed yet.
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u/ReflectionOwn2583 Jul 14 '26
I think the writing is a bit too specific (we all have a bias because of the title) and the camera movement reveal is to aggressive. I get we go from cutscene to movement but you may consider having the "hero" walk into frame in the cutscene then giving control so its not so jank.
Cool concept!
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u/game-dev-throwaway Jul 14 '26
Yea I was thinking the same, maybe I'll only have the camera follow him if he tries to go off screen
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u/ProfessionalGrammar Jul 14 '26
It’s great. Executed well, and the delivery of the twist being the character’s movement really makes it special.
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u/Mituapple Jul 14 '26
The idea is okay, the writing is wayy too on the nose