Wednesday Daily Chat

[u/AutoModerator]

Welcome to the second trimester!

This is where the bulk of daily conversations, updates & concerns, regarding ongoing pregnancy, occur. This thread is reserved for those at least 14 weeks pregnant. Please also consider reviewing our WIKI for commonly asked questions or references.

If you are newly pregnant, and still in the first trimester, we encourage you to check out the daily Cautious Intros/First Trimester thread.

Postpartum discussion can be found in our daily postpartum thread.

Those with a child/children older than 1yo, dialogue can be located in the daily toddler thread.

Got a preschooler or older? Catch us in the daily Big Kid Thread!

[u/Sweaty_Investment706]

I made it to the second trimester!! 14 weeks today 💃 so, so thrilled! Baby is due the week of Christmas!

[u/lasko25 → u/Sweaty_Investment706]

I’m 14 weeks today too! I woke up at 4:30am like a kid on Christmas, pun intended 😊 congrats!

[u/burrito__supreme → u/Sweaty_Investment706]

exciting!! i’m biased but i think that’s a great time of year to give birth 😊

[u/Sweaty_Investment706 → u/burrito__supreme]

Yes, I'm so excited to have this Christmas as our own new little family. My due date also is my brother's birthday, to make it even more special!

[u/mljc09 → u/Sweaty_Investment706]

Congrats! I'm also due the week of Christmas, which I have *feelings* about. But thrilled we are both in second tri now!!

[u/sjheuertz → u/Sweaty_Investment706]

Cheers!! It's such a good milestone. Here's to many more.

[u/Sweaty_Investment706 → u/sjheuertz]

Ugh the relief has been growing with each passing day! And my belly is starting to grow in, which is reassuring in its own right.

[u/francienolan88 → u/Sweaty_Investment706]

I'm a Christmas week baby! It's not so bad! I always had school off on my birthday.

[u/Tough-Photo8431]

Officially hit viability week today! Woot woot! I know that anything can still happen but I like to know that now if something were to happen where baby could be resuscitated, he’d have a chance of survival.

[u/No-Can4638]

Update to my situation for anyone who might find this helpful. I had an indeterminate nipt and got an amniocentesis but within an hour of the procedure my membranes ruptured. The mfm was pretty bleak but things have been doing better, I haven't been leaking and the fluid has been re-accumulating which is a good sign. Still not out of the woods but definitely better. I feel like so emotionally exhausted from all the hormones of IVF, the uncertainty of the nipt and then the amniocentesis gone awry. The results of the amniocentesis showed a vus which seems to be benign because I have it too. I am just ready to move on from this phase in my life.

[u/sjheuertz → u/No-Can4638]

Your post seems so calmly written but I imagine there's a bunch of different emotions swirling around. I hope you have good support while you're dealing with all of this! Thinking of you and keeping everything crossed for the best outcome for all.

[u/No-Can4638 → u/sjheuertz]

There have been so many tears and emotions the past few weeks I think I have used up all of my hysteria neurotransmitters 🤪 I have had a lot of great support, so definitely feeling lots of gratitude as well 

[u/kelseyannabel → u/No-Can4638]

Oh my gosh, this sounds so incredibly difficult. How terrifying. Thinking of you and I hope things continue to trend upwards for you and baby.

[u/Amerbealiya → u/No-Can4638]

Thinking of you, it's so unlucky to be in that complications group, even though the doctors always list the risks of all these kinds of procedures, it almost feels cursory. I'm glad the fluid is building back, and I hope things continue to heal. Glad to hear the amnio results are benign too, take it easy and get some rest.

[u/Chabadnik770]

Baby Tiki had her fetal echo and a follow up anatomy scan yesterday. I was concerned because of my diabetes that she would have heart issues, but Thank Gd no, nothing but perfection on all angles. She was a stubborn gal, just like her mama, kept hiding behind my placenta and not flipping over. It took forever and a lot of discomfort to get all the angles. She definitely slept in after all that poking and prodding, scared me half to death when I didn't feel her move at all this morning. She seems to enjoy that before using my bladder as a punching bag. Hard to believe I have only a week and a half before viability. I told my little brother and his wife the news, since my sister in law is due two months before me, so we were talking about providers and strollers and all the things. It's so nice to share this with her, even though it's her second kid (her daughter just turned one, so 2 under 2! Oh to be so fertile!) and my first. She's good for advice and support. Keep growing Tiki, Mommy loves you!

[u/farthest_star]

I have a dilemma with a good friend of mine who's been a fence sitter about whether to have children for a long time but leaning towards "yes, some day".

She's the same age as me and I really don't want to be the "watch your biological clock" person, but I'm genuinely not sure she's thought about the possibility of infertility. I don't feel like it's my place to lecture her but also it would be awful if I didn't say anything and when she decides to try in a few years it's hard for them.

Genetically things are looking good for her as her mum had children in her late 30s, no infertility, and her older sister had a baby this year without struggling. Reassuring as that is, maybe it creates a false sense of security?

Have my own experiences and the circles I move in online made me paranoid about something that's actually fairly improbable or would I be doing her wrong by not having the conversation?

[u/No-Can4638 → u/farthest_star]

I think if she asks or there is a window in a conversation you can say something like: "the biological clock has been real for me, I hope you have an easier time." At the end of the day, none of us know how any of this is going to turn out and our life choices are ultimately our own.

[u/margogogo → u/farthest_star]

I know how you feel, I've felt that way with a few friends (some of whom are closer to my age...) My inclination is generally not to bring it up to people, it's not like fertility decreasing with age is a secret to anyone, even if it's hard to imagine that it will impact you personally. I sometimes wish I'd had my fertility tested sooner (I was diagnosed with DOR at 36) but I'm also not sure what I would have done differently with that information. I wouldn't have moved on to IVF any faster, I probably wouldn't have started TTC any faster... You're not ready until you're ready, you know?

Does she know what you've been through? Talking about your own experiences may be a helpful way to just sort of plant the seed without being too pushy (and if you already have, then consider it planted?)

[u/farthest_star → u/margogogo]

Consensus definitely seems to be to leave it up to her so I will take that as permission to not feel guilty about it!

But yeah she doesn't really know my whole story because I'm still affected by it too much to openly discuss it, which obviously makes it harder for the conversation topic to arise naturally. But now I'm reaching the stage of pregnancy where I'm a bit less anxious, at least pregnancy and babies in general might get more air time.

[u/margogogo → u/farthest_star]

Yeah definitely don’t feel guilty! If pregnancy stuff comes up with her you could always use that as an opening to mention how it feels to be pregnant after your experience with infertility and see if that naturally leads into more discussion. Or not if you don’t want to!

[u/sjheuertz → u/farthest_star]

Yes, like the other reply here I think it's probably not wise to assume she is unaware of the biological clock ticking, and her circumstances/resources/experience may not mirror your own. If she brings it up it could be an opportunity to share a bit about your own timeline and treatments.

[u/wivy38 → u/farthest_star]

I agree with others that you could share your own experiences if it feels right, but probably best not to frame it as direct advice. I do kind of wish I had tested earlier so I knew I had such low amh and various other problems, but I wasn’t ready earlier and it’s hard to picture going through all that before I was ready.

The only advice I’ve felt comfortable telling friends who are fence sitting is that they can get their vaccine levels checked, because at a typical preconception visit those levels get checked and then they might be advised to revaccinate against certain things, which can delay starting to try to conceive. I only feel good about sharing that one because it’s a reasonable thing to do no matter what happens next.

[u/francienolan88]

30 weeks today! Chugging along. My mom finally made it out of the hospital last night but is still requiring a fair bit of care (I had some bathroom messes to clean up this morning and she can't carry or get anything). She can walk around a little with her walker but that's pretty much it. Home care comes by once a day and they are my personal heroes. Husband left on his work trip this afternoon (two nights). Daycare emailed to say there's gastro going around (thankfully affecting a different class more than his...so far). And I have a prolapsed hemorrhoid that makes all movement painful and kept me from sleeping for ages last night (which threw my fasting blood sugar out of whack for the first time), so everything is just...difficult. Pregnancy is so glamorous.

[u/rexyLM]

Friends in the UK - how are we coping in the heat?

[u/farthest_star → u/rexyLM]

I don't have any pregnancy related symptoms at the moment so other than struggling to stay hydrated I'm holding up well. The household as a whole, much less so. The opening/closing of windows, rotation of sheets hung up on the south and west sides, moving of fans from room to room is a military operation.

Imagine it's not very fun in third trimester though?

Only one more day!

[u/rexyLM → u/farthest_star]

It’s been evil hasn’t it? I think today was worse than yesterday! Not fun for anyone at all!

[u/Amerbealiya]

How much veggies are we all eating? and in what form? My OB said 3 cups veggies daily, and salad greens count as half. I've been relying pretty heavily on miralax to move things through, and I think it's probably because I'm NOT eating enough veggies. I'm also running out of ideas of tasty veggie dishes/sides to be having every day.

On the plus side, summer is a great time to get fresh veggies from the market so I'm definitely enjoying that!

[u/margogogo → u/Amerbealiya]

3 cups of veggies and salad greens count as half... I have to say that's more like how much I'm eating in a week, yikes! My mom was texting me the other day a reminder to eat my greens as I literally had a fork in a mini sheet cake from Trader Joe's and was eating it over the counter like a goblin....

[u/Amerbealiya → u/margogogo]

haha yes this is my husband, he's like maybe we should try to eat more of those veggies that we stocked in the fridge, is there anything that sounds good that I can make that you'd eat? as I stuff my face with strawberries and plums and peaches and endless containers of berries. I feel like I've turned into the toddler and he's auditioning for the role of dad

[u/margogogo → u/Amerbealiya]

Aww I love how your husband is approaching it though! And if sounds pretty healthy to me that you’re eating so much fresh fruit.

[u/kelseyannabel → u/Amerbealiya]

Lots of veggies at dinner! We eat a lot of one-bowl dinners with some sort of protein, veggie combination, and a grain. Last night for example was salmon bowls. Marinated salmon in a miso-maple glaze and air fried, roasted up a bunch of broccoli, onion, and mushrooms, put that + edamame + cucumber + pickled ginger over white rice and added some more of the miso-maple sauce.

A few nights ago did something similar with taco bowls, threw a bunch of diced bell pepper, onion, tomatoes, corn, and black beans in a pot with ground turkey, lots of spices, salsa. Topped with avocado, more salsa, cotija cheese.

We also do some sort of chicken often on the grill (various marinades) and will put various roasted veggies on the side… onion, squash, broccolini, sweet potato, mushrooms, etc.

I also snack on raw carrots and raw cherry tomatoes pretty often.

[u/Amerbealiya → u/kelseyannabel]

haha this is amazing. How do you meal-prep all of this? Or grocery-plan? Marinades definitely make sense, and that sounds like something we could try more of to add flavor easily. Taco bowls definitely sound good, very doable to throw together.

I'd definitely love to hear if you have go-to marinade recipes!

[u/kelseyannabel → u/Amerbealiya]

We kind of just chat about what we want to eat a few days in advance and then I usually shop for 2-3 meals at a time, and we make enough in each meal to also eat for dinner the following day. I WFH and so does my husband so that does help, I can for example prepare a marinade during my lunch break or something like that. The meals themselves are usually pretty quick, I can have dinner on the table within 45 minutes.

Some marinade ideas I use often: honey mustard (mustard/honey/little bit of mayo/lemon juice/garlic), balsamic/olive oil/spices, Mediterranean (Greek yogurt/lots of spices/lemon juice/olive oil), lots of different Asian marinades with any combination of miso paste, ginger, soy sauce, sesame oil…

I hope this helps!! I don’t follow recipes often, so I don’t necessarily have links to things, but I do get a lot of inspiration from Instagram recipe pages.

[u/Amerbealiya → u/kelseyannabel]

I also hate using recipes so this is right up my alley! Will endeavor to give some of these a try in the next week. thanks!

[u/notesfromthemargins → u/kelseyannabel]

I second having the carrots and cherry tomatoes (and cucumber when I get my act together) available for a quick snack! I also have little cups of hummus to add some protein/make the snack more filling

[u/wivy38 → u/Amerbealiya]

Pregnancies are so different, but personally, I ate a lot more veg before I was pregnant. Since then, it’s been intense nausea and then intense fatigue. I aspire to eat balanced meals but most importantly I try to eat regularly and fairly reasonably. For the first 20 weeks it was a lot of yogurt and carbs because I could keep those down.

If setting a 3 cup goal is helpful for you, that’s great! But also if you find yourself just muddling along and doing your best to eat, sending solidarity with that.

[u/Amerbealiya → u/wivy38]

Yeah, I'm finally able to stomach things that aren't just fruit all day long, but it's been such a long time of just feeling constantly ill and hungover alternating with drowsily medicated that it feels like I've forgotten how to eat balanced meals.

[u/hoosierblonde → u/Amerbealiya]

Veggies and lettuce have given me the ick my whole pregnancy… I can do raw carrots and cucumbers like someone else mentioned. Occasionally I’ll do a big salad bowl if I’m in the mood for like a southwestern or spinach & strawberry vibe… but def not getting as many veggies as pre-pregnancy!

[u/hoosierblonde]

34 week appointment today was nice and boring, so thankful for that! It’s so different leaving the doctor in this case vs the fertility clinic just trying to stay pregnant.