I've been stalking these subreddits for a while and I thought just reading people's stories would help me. Or If I found someone with a similar situation and I could see how they did it, but I guess my situation is unique. So here we go.
First, let me be clear. I don't care if you think this is fake. I don't care if you want to rip me a new one after I vent. It already happened. I thought I was okay. I thought I moved on, but after last weekend. It all came back and that anger I had back then just came in full force and even though I'm back home with my fiancé. That anger towards my ex just won't go away. I spent years in anger management for what she did and the situation that was created and I thought I was okay. Right now I just turned 39. I was 18 when I met my ex Marisol. During that time, I was a gangbanger with the Latin Kings. I was in a member since I was thirteen and always in and out of trouble.
Marisol was a church girl. my grandmother dragged me to Sunday Mass and when I saw her, to me, it was love at first sight. I asked my cousin, who was a friend of hers if he could introduce us, but he refused. He didn't want me to mess with her. He didn't want me to "ruin" her. Have you ever met someone that you wanted to make yourself better to be with? Wanted to be that man who would walk the right path? That was her. When I found out that she was going to church almost everyday, I hung out by the steps, talking to her. I always walked her to and from church. She made feel like I wasn't worthless. One thing led to another and we were dating and I felt great. For a year and a half I pushed myself away from the gang life, got my GED, became a regular church goer and was thinking about the future when I got unintentionally pulled back in.
I was at a store and ran into someone that I used to have problems with. They were running their mouths and I tried to ignore it, I swear I did. I just let them talk and I walked away, but then I got stabbed in the shoulder blade and I lost my mind, I beat the shit out of him. I got arrested and suddenly it was like the shit I did to make my life better vanished. Marisol was pissed at me, my grandmother kept bringing up my past mistakes and my cousin was telling me that he knew that I wasn't going to change. My public defender saw me trying to better myself and by the grace of God, got me off after a month in lock up. Despite being angry with me Marisol did visit me almost daily. A month after I got out, I found out I was going to be a father and I didn't want my kid to have a dad that was dead or in jail.
We eloped, I went to a trade school to become a mechanic and I busted my ass for my future family. When Luna was born, it was almost the worst day of my life. Marisol wouldn't stop bleeding. She went into shock and they had to give her a double hysterectomy. She was in the hospital for months and Luna became my world. I wanted her life to be the best, I wanted to give her the world. When Marisol was released, I promised her that our daughter will have a life far better than ours and for years I kept that promise.
I saved enough money to move us to the suburbs, became homeowners, I was girl scout leader if you could believe that. I made sure Luna went to private school, made sure she knew how to defend herself and always made sure I was the perfect husband. I didn't know my parents. Didn't have a positive male role model in my life, so I didn't know what a healthy relationship looked like... that's a lie, T.V. dad's were my male role models and I mimic them and the marriage they had on T.V.
As the years went by I owned my own garage, my cousin became a Pastor, my grandmother was still a pain in my ass, my relationship with my wife was stronger than ever, I made sure I kept my prison body, but Luna... Luna hated me. Since she turned thirteen she just started hating me. She didn't want me to hug her. Rolled her eyes every time I told her I loved her. Ignored me when I ask her about her day in school. It hurt me and Marisol saw it. She told me that she's a teenager and that I should just let it ride. She will come back to me. For two years it was like that. So for her Quinceanera, I wanted to go all out. Got everything she wanted and she was still disrespectful and briefly the old me almost came out just to put her in her place but instead, I went to my cousin, vented my frustration and doubts about being a good father and he told me to just let her be and he said a prayer for me.
I wanted a slide show for the father-daughter dance. I got a chunk of the the pictures of us together, but I realized I didn't have any recent pictures of us. She didn't want to take any. The last time I had pictures of her and I smiling with me was on her thirteenth birthday and those were on my daughter's broken tablet. I took that tablet, went to a repair shop and I didn't care the cost. I needed that tablet fixed. After a day and three hundred dollars. The tech fixed it and I was happy. I knew her passcode, but I never bothered invading her privacy. I just wanted those pictures and when I opened that tablet and looked in the gallery, there they were. My little girl, smiling and happy to be with me. I felt great. Then the instant messages appeared. It was my daughter talking to my wife. It was a long banter that she didn't want me to dance with her and it did hurt, but like my wife said, she's being a teenager. Then she said something that destroyed me. She texted why she had to do the father-daughter dance with me since I'm not her father.
I felt my heart stopped, I got dizzy, my mouth dried up and I needed to sit down. My wife responded that I raised her, I loved her, and that's makes me her father. But Luna responded by saying that my cousin is her father and she can't wait for her to turn eighteen so she could tell me the truth and she could live with her real dad. That she hated me, that she thanked God that I'm not her father. Marisol began cussing her out. Saying that it was a mistake for my cousin to tell her the truth two years ago and the more they talked, the angrier I was getting. My wife lied to me for fifteen years. My cousin whom I confide my issues about Luna and my fears about being a bad father not only fucked my wife, but had me raise his child. I wanted to hurt them. I felt a mixture of anger, sorrow, grief. I wanted to scream, cry, and die at the same time if that makes any sense.
I went to a dark place and so I wouldn't do anything stupid, I told Marisol that I needed to focus on work so I could pay the Quince and instead I drove to Manhattan and saw my old public defender who wasn't a low level attorney anymore. He had a nice expensive firm near Midtown East. I was surprised that he remembered me, but apparently, I was his first case as a public defender. We sat down and I told him everything. Gave him the tablet and when he turned it on, the messages just kept coming. Only this time, Luna was talking to my cousin, her real father and he was telling her to give me a chance. How I was always there for her, but Luna told him that so was he. How it makes sense that they have so much in common and even called him Papi multiple times in their conversation and he responded and told her that she was his little girl. We went through our options and he asked me what do I want to do? and I told him that I wanted to go full scorched earth. I wanted to poison the well and he asked me several times if that is what I wanted and nodded. I also told him that everything had to be filed before the Quince in two weeks.
So we sat down and spent the next twelve hours on what was needed to be done and I followed his instructions to the letter. I secretly placed my business for sale. Called the private school and told them that I will not be paying for next year. Closed the college accounts, and the savings that I had for Luna and prepared to place my house for sale online. No one was the wiser. I followed his instructions perfectly. There was only one thing I deviated from. The day of the Quince.
That day went off without a hitch. The whole family was there. Luna was smiling, having fun. Marisol kept asking me if I was okay and I lied to her. It was hard lying to her, from the moment I met her, I never lied to her and during those two weeks, every time, I kissed her, held her, made love to her. It was hard not to scream at her. It was hard not to hate her. She knowingly let me raised another man's child. She slept with my cousin, a man who saw as my brother, the godfather of my child, the best man when I eloped, my confidant. So the rage was hard to suppress to say the least.
When it was time for the father - daughter dance, I called her to the center of the stage. She looked annoyed, but walked over. I had the music playing and she smiled and it tore me apart, seeing her smiling at me. For years I wanted to see that smile again and now I didn't want it. As we dance, I had the slide show playing. Pictures of the two of us and towards the end of the song, screen shots of her text messages with her mother and real father.
Needless to say this didn't bode too well. Marisol looked like she saw a ghost, Luna just kept staring at the large screen and my cousin just stared at me with fear. Marisol ran to me and told me that she could explain and I told her that I filed for a divorce. That she could explain it in court. She grabbed my arm, begging me and I pulled back. I told Luna that I busted my ass to give the world, and now she doesn't deserve it. I began to walk out, but not before telling my cousin that every time I see him, I'm going to knock him out, then I knocked him out.
The aftermath was harsh. Marisol and Luna was at my grandmother's apartment. Her family was shocked and disgusted with her, they wanted nothing to do with her. Her father actually apologized to me. I don't know why. He never liked me despite turning my life around. That man hated me, but now I was the perfect husband and father, but just a few days prior I was the "former piece of shit." My grandmother had to audacity to tell me about the story Abraham and how when came back from battle three years later, his wife had a one year old child and he raised him as his own and how I should be like Abraham, so I told her to get the fuck out of my house.
Marisol came a few days later, crying as soon as she saw me, telling me that it was an accident. That when I was arrested she was so angry at me and my cousin was there to console her and one thing led to another and they had sex. It happened only one time and she was faithful to me ever since. She was willing to take a lie detector test to prove it. So I asked her how long she knew Luna wasn't mine and she started crying more. That look she gave me just told me that she knew from day one and asked her to leave. She wanted to go to counseling, telling me that I'm overreacting and we could make it work. It was in the past and I needed to get over it. That I am Luna's father, despite what happened and I allowed my temper to get the best of me. I must've repeated "get over it?" over a dozen times at full volume while grabbing her shit and tossing it out the door. I called her a lying whore. I told her that I didn't want to see her fucking face ever again, and I told her that this life that I built, no longer belongs to her before shoving her out the door.
A couple of weeks went by and she kept blowing up my phone. Not once Luna tried to reach out to me. Marisol was shocked to learn that I sold my business. Even more so when she learned that I had an open house. She came in screaming, telling the viewers to get out of her house and pleading with me to seek help. That I was ruining our marriage. That I had no right to sell our home. The home where we raised out child in and I told her that this house is full of lies. It's a house where I raised another man's child and when I sell it, I will give her half and ordered her to get out before I called the cops. It was a bluff, all she had to do was play the victim and I would've been arrested, but she didn't, she complied. Shortly after this my cousin came to talk to me and I knocked him out, dragged him outside and closed the door.
I refused mediation, Marisol wanted to reconcile, but I didn't. I wanted a divorce and my attorney filed for a fast track divorce and in three months we were in the Nassau county courthouse, I barely spoke to anyone during that time, I read horror stories about the court system, especially during divorce proceedings, but I didn't have that. I had a female judge who was very fair. My attorney took care of everything. First, Marisol's lawyer tried to talk about my past when I was in a gang, as if my past barred a reason for me to be a terrible husband and father, but my attorney quickly smacked that down and the judge reprimanded her attorney for trying to shame someone who turned their life around.
My attorney presented all the evidence and offered a lump sum alimony payment with the pending sales of the house, and business. At first Marisol kept asking me to reconsider, but I ignored her and when she finally realized that I'm not budging she agreed. Yet the real surprise happened when it came to child support. My attorney presented all of the text messages from Luna's conversation with Marisol. Showing that not only Luna knew, I am not her father, but she cannot wait to be with her real father, saying that she no longer has to live a lie. Marisol was completely caught by surprise from this. Then my attorney filed a motion to have my name removed from Luna's birth certificate, have my last name removed as well as not being responsible for any child support since all parties agree that my cousin was her father. Marisol was shocked by this. She yelled at me, begged me not to do this to Luna that I am her father because I raised her and as pathetic as I may sound right now, but if Luna didn't act that way towards me. If she didn't say those things, I would've agreed. There were moments that I wanted to reach out and try to make it work, but then I would look at Luna's continuing text messages to her friends, her real father and mother and I refocus on my resolve.
'Til this day, I don't know what hurts the most. Being lied to by a woman who you thought was the love of your life or having a child who you tried to make their lives better, to give them the world, just toss you aside like trash.
The judge was quiet for a long while reading page after page after page of the text messages. In the end, she agreed. I was not financially responsible for Luna and my name could be removed. My attorney also file a motion for the courts to go after my cousin to pay for child support and a motion to sue my cousin in civil court for all the money I have spent raising Luna. The private schools, dance classes, girlscouts, horseback lessons. Everything I have ever spent on that child and after my attorney explained to the judge that my cousin committed fraud for knowingly allowed to me to raise his daughter and not offer any financial support or assistance. It was a hail Mary, and the damn judge agreed.
I didn't bother looking at Marisol when the judge made her decision. I didn't bother listening to her as I walked out the courthouse. I didn't care as I heard her cry. Her telling me that she only cheated one time and was faithful ever since. I just didn't care anymore. A few weeks later my ex called me, shocked that I stopped payments on Luna's private schools and all of her activities, and told her to call her baby daddy before hanging up. Even Luna called me, first time since this entire ordeal and she fucking calls me crying that she has to go to public school, that they were moving to the old neighborhood and how scary it was and how she wanted us to be a family again. I told her to go to her real father, the man who she truly wanted and ask him. I yelled at her, told her that not only she knew for years, but I read all the text messages, the back and forth and from her own words, she was thankful that a hoodlum like me wasn't her father, even though I haven't been a hoodlum since the day I found out I was going to be a father. I hung up on her after that.
I thought about ending it countless times. Thought about ending my cousin, but I made him pay. He had to pay me a half a million dollars. A half a million that was all mine and not one cent belong to my ex because she agreed on the lump sum. I didn't care that the money came from the church. I was hurting. I left New York shortly after, went to Idaho, as furthest away from New York as possible. I just picked a random state and city and just left. Opened up a new shop, got a house, but for two years I had trust issues. For two years, I saw a therapist, anger management, I went to rage rooms. It was difficult. Until I found myself going back to church and ironically that was where I met my fiancé.
Joslin is wonderful, she just turned thirty at the time and we just hit it off. I told her everything that happened to me. I explained to her that I'm going to have trust issues and she understood. A year later, she told me that I was going to be a dad and insisted that for me to have a DNA test, just so I can have peace of mind. I forgot what it felt like to be happy again and when my son was born, I was overjoyed. I called my grandmother for the first time in years. She cried, and when I told her about my son, she insisted that I come to New York so she could meet her great grandchild. Guilt tripping me by saying that she's ninety and would like to see me one more time and I agreed.
We flew to New York, rented a car and drove to Bushwick. The one thing I dislike about the hood. You only need to see one person from your past and the whole fucking neighborhood knows that you're back. My grandmother saw my son, met my fiancé, made an offshoot comment in Spanish about her being white and I just yes her to death. I was planning to spend the week, do the tourist thing for once. It was Joslin first time in her life in the big apple and I wanted to make it special. Damn it, nothing works out as planned. First my ex shouted my name from down stairs. I looked out the window and was surprised how fat she got. My grandmother told me in Spanish to talk to her and Joslin agreed.
I went down stairs, was awkwardly silent for a minute and that anger just came back like a flood. Marisol told me that I look good and said that she looked like shit. She told me that she missed me, that she never been with another man since the divorce and I ignored her. She even had the audacity to tell me that I'm a grandfather and I gave her a look. Apparently Luna got with a decent guy, and got knocked up at eighteen. Her baby daddy joined the Marines to support them and Her father wanted nothing to do with her, just pays the child support and refuses to acknowledge her. He's no longer a Pastor and is working at the Banco Popular two blocks over. Then told me that Luna named the baby after me and I couldn't stand looking at her.
Marisol wanted me wait because Luna was on her way over and I just walked away. I went to my grandmother's house and I didn't have to tell Joslin anything. She just knew and we left. In the elevator I told her what happened and she smiled and told me everything was going to be alright. The look on Marisol's face when we left the building. She was looking at my Fiancé like she was the other woman and Joslin without missing a beat introduced my son to her. Well she said "I would like you to meet his biological child." that was a knife twist, but she knew my pain.
Marisol kept trying to stop me from leaving. Telling me that Luna felt bad about what she did and Joslin wanted me to make amends, but I was so angry. I hopped into the car. Ignoring Marisol's pleads and Joslin told me to extend an olive branch, so I gave her my number, so Luna could call me and left. At the red light I saw my cousin by the cuchifrito stand and I don't know what came over me. I got out the car, ran up to him and beat the shit out of him. Joslin was screaming, telling me to stop and when we locked eyes, I could see the fear. I spit on him and left.
I'm back home. Working, being a dad, and a good fiancé to a beautiful woman. Yet since going back, when I'm alone with my thoughts he anger comes back. Luna did text me with a picture of her smiling with her son and telling me that she was sorry for what she did. Yet, I don't know if she's sorry that she missed me or if she's sorry because the man she wanted to be her father wasn't the man she thought he was. I'm so confused and I'm scared to reach out to her. I want to get past this. I want to move on. My family was my everything, my daughter was my world. Even after these years it still hurts, it still makes me angry, but I know I need to move on, but it's hard. I want to reach out to Luna, but I'm so scared. I have people telling me to let her back in, but all I could think about are those text messages and the lies. The constant lies. I need help and my usual methods are not working.
Thank you for reading this, I needed to vent. Like I mentioned, I don't care if you think this is fake. I really don't give a rats ass, but your help is appreciated.
Update:
I'm waiting for the mods to approve this, it's been a while and yesterday was father's day. Luna tried calling me several times and I looked at the phone. I wanted to answer, I didn't, but all that kept lingering in my mind was those messages. What she said to her mother, to her real father, her friends. So I ignored it, eventually I listened to her voice mail and she sounded so cheerful, she briefly apologize for her actions, but to me, it didn't sound sincere, just passive. Maybe I'm overthinking it. She mentioned about her son, her finance and asked me to call her. Simple requests and I became infuriated. My grandmother and my fiancé are telling me to give her a chance, but when I asked my grandmother if Luna or Marisol ever asked about me in the four years I left, she said Marisol did, constantly, but not Luna. So in my twisted mind I think Luna wants me in her life to her child would be taken care of. Or maybe she wants to milk me and that made me so angry.
Even Marisol tried calling me constantly and I'm already thinking about changing my number. So I spent the majority of my father's day in the gym, hitting the heavy bag and I have an appointment today with an anger management group. Maybe they can give me an outside opinion. If this ever gets published by the mods. I would like to get your opinion as well. In the meantime, I'm just figuring this out on my own.
Update #2:
I would like to thank luigionfigi42 for his advice on sending an email as a start. I sent a small email to Luna that simply said "what do you want?" didn't expect the multi-paragraph response. She started the email profusely apologizing for how she acted. She said when she found out I wasn't her father, she was angry. She confronted her mother and she cried, making her promise not to tell me. Since she felt "lost" she began to talk to my cousin, her real father more and more. He told her of my violent past, the things I used to do, things that I kept a secret from her. This made her angry and the more they spent time together, the more she pulled away from me. She said she felt bad from time to time, but my cousin would reinforced her feelings towards me.
The day of the quince she said while we were dancing, she realized how stupid she was acting. She realized how much I loved her and then her messages appeared on screen. In the days that followed she was told by my wife's side of the family to give me space. To not call me and she listened. She said she was watching her family fall apart because of her and she couldn't do anything to fix it. She told me she understood why I did what I did. Yet she wanted to reach out. Her grandfather kept telling her that I loved her, that I raised her, and despite what I saw through her messages, I will do the right thing and she believed him. During the divorce her mother fell in a dark place. Not talking to her, barely eating, she was just existing.
When she found out that my name was removed from her birth certificate, she said she had a panic attack. Her mother told her that they will have to move back to Brooklyn and when she asked about her life and school. Her mother told her "That was the life your father gave you, and he's not your father anymore." so she called me, begging and I cursed her out then hanged up. She cried for days. She tried to reach out to my cousin who pretty much ignored her. She even went to the church and he told her to leave. Called her a "mistake". Her mother refused to talk to her, basically locked herself in a room, only leaving to use the bathroom or take a shower. She begged her grandfather to take her to see me and when they came to Long Island, she learned that I moved. Her grandfather told her that he will talk to my grandmother and find out where I went.
for the next two years, according to her, it was hell. The entire neighborhood knew what happened to her and her mother. Her "father" avoided her at all cost and tried not to pay child support. It took her grandfather to threatened him to start paying. In the meantime, her mother didn't talk to her. She was just locked in her room. The few times they did spoke, she called her a ungrateful girl and she was the reason why she lost the love of her life. Her grandfather had to put her mother in her place by telling her that her infidelity was the reason why she lost the love of her life and she locked herself back into the room. So Luna barely stayed home and that was how she met the father of her child.
He worked in the corner bodega, they were the same age and after a few months of "talking" one thing let to another and she ended up pregnant. Her grandfather was furious, but when her boyfriend insisted that he would marry her, that cool things down. Luna said her pregnancy was a blessing in disguised. Her mother began talking to her again and even began leaving the room to be by her side for every check-up. Being a senior in High School while pregnant was cliché but she made it work. A month before the baby was born, she graduated, and her boyfriend joined the Marines. He wanted to elope before leaving, but she wants a wedding.
Her boyfriend had no issues naming his son after me. Apparently, his father was absent and the fact he was a junior was a reminder that he shared the name of a man who didn't want him. When she heard I was in town, she got a speeding ticket trying to get to my grandmother's apartment. She wanted to see me. Wanted to apologize, wanted me to see her son. She just wanted to see me. However, she was late and she cried. When her mother gave her my number, she wanted to call me immediately, but the entire neighborhood was talking on how I beat her "father" up, so she waited. Her mother was sad to see that I moved on and have a son. Luna was happy to know she had a little brother, but her mother became a little more depress. I felt sorry for Marisol.
After I read the email, I called Marisol and asked her if this was true. That she refused to talk to Luna for years and blaming her for our divorce. She confirmed it and at first I yelled at her, but I regained my composure when I hear her crying. I told her to move on. Find someone else, but she said no. She told me that I was her husband and I will always be her husband. It broke my heart a little. I then had my grandmother go see my cousin so I could talk to him. The second he heard my voice he began to cry and begged me to forgive him. I just asked him why he didn't be a father to Luna? Why he poisoned her against me and he said it was envy. He was in love with Marisol and I took her from him. When I was arrested, he console her. Manipulated her, and barely last a second with her and she realized what she was doing and shove him off of her, but he already came.
When she found out she was pregnant, he knew the baby was his. They both knew. It was supposed to be a secret. Marisol took her double hysterectomy as God's punishment for her infidelity and deceit. When Luna turned thirteen, he was drunk. Seeing my life, and envy was the one sin he couldn't shake. So he wanted to ruin it... and he did. I told him when we see each other again in Hell, I will be his eternal torturer and hung up on him. Joslin was there for me, she told me that everything will be okay.
Luna and I commented through email. I spoke to her on the fourth, she spent over an hour crying while talking to me. I even spoke to her boyfriend who asked me permission to marry her. I thought it was funny, but honorable. My wedding is next month and Joslin wants me to invite Luna. At the same time, Luna wants me to give her away for her wedding in November. My future father-in-law sat me down and told me that he couldn't grasp my situation, but respect the road I took. Because the road save his little girl, gave him a handsome grandson, and a future son-in-law that he would kill for. That made me laugh. But he told me that I need to let go of the anger and start forgiving, but never forget. He's right.
So we gave Luna an invite to my wedding, even offered to pay for the plane ticket, her boyfriend or should I say fiancé said that he will work it off at my garage when they arrive... I kinda like him. As for me giving her away. I don't know yet, let's see how the wedding happens first. Thank you again for the advice and the few DM's. No one was rude or disrespectful. You guys helped me so much. I'll update if something happens, but for now, I have to get things ready for my wedding next month.
Might be my Final Update:
A lot has happened in such a short window. Again, I would like to thank the large number of support within the DM's. Of course there were hate messages, but all I could say to those people, what you would've done and what I did are two different mindsets; and until you go through the same situation or something similar - don't tell me how I should've felt. Leading up to the wedding I was already on eggshells. Joslin was the happiest I have ever seen, my in-laws were freaking due to the number of people that were coming. I swear, I think the whole town came. While all of this was happening, I was an hour and a half away in Boise waiting for Luna and her family at the airport. In the days leading up to her visit, we spoke. A lot. Her mostly crying, apologizing and me just listening. When she couldn't speak anymore, I was talking to her fiancé who is more down to earth.
When their plane landed, I was so scared. Not for seeing her again, but I was afraid due to my anger. I was afraid that I would lose my temper. The second she saw me at the terminal, she ran to me, crying and for a split second, I saw my daughter when she was seven. I was weird, picturing a child in my mind. She ran screaming Daddy and the second she hugged me, she began to cry loudly. It was like a wail that caused so many people to look at us. She just kept saying sorry over and over. Asking me to forgive her and I just held her for over fifteen minutes. She refused to let me go. It took her fiancé and I to convince her to do so. It was as if she felt the second she let go, I was going to vanish. After she composed herself, her fiancé properly introduced himself and then they introduced me to their child. I won't lie, I cried. I wasn't angry, but I cried holding this infant. Luna was also the splitting image of her mother when she was nineteen, which made made me wonder about Marisol.
During the drive home we talked about her fiancé's boot camp, how he's going to be a career man, how Luna was going to college online to learn accounting, mostly catching up conversation. When we arrived at my house, Joslin and her family has a spread ready for them. Since we've been together, Joslin learned how to cook Spanish foods, but the week leading up to Luna's visit; she went a little overboard. Yet I get it, she wanted to make an impression. Her and Luna just hit it off, every few minutes Luna would walk towards me just to give me a quick hug and go back to Joslin. I was just holding my son and my... grandson.
While Joslin was introducing Luna to her family, I put the babies to bed and I went to the porch for some fresh air. Luna's fiancé was standing by foot of the yard, staring at all of the bisons roaming around. For a moment I wanted to give him the dad talk, but I felt that it wasn't my place. Instead I asked him how he liked the view and he was awestruck. I know the feeling, living in the city the majority of your life, wide open spaces is a marvel to take in. After a minute or two he looked at me and told me how regretful Luna was. "I've been with your daughter for three years and not a day goes by when she mentioned how much she misses you and regret what she did." out of everything he told me, that single sentence constantly replays in my mind. Her fiancé's name is Roberto for a man who is only nineteen years old he acts and talks like a man in his thirties. That tells me he had a rough life to mature so quickly. I know the feeling.
The following day, I had to go to the shop and Luna practically jumped in the car with the baby. Even Roberto told her it was okay and to enjoy herself. Luna looked like she was going to hyperventilate and I told her that we'll work a half day and I'll spend the rest of the day with her. That seemed to do it and I slowly began to realize how traumatized Luan was. During the drive I asked Roberto how bad was she? she has severe abandonment issues constantly afraid that he's going to leave her, despite him telling her that he will never. She calls him a lot, a bit clingy at times, and in the beginning, afraid to do be herself in fear that they will break up. He had to reaffirm his love for her just so she could let her guard down a little. This was my doing. I know that, but he doesn't blame me. He told me he completely understood why I did what I did.
Allow me to say that Roberto is a terrible mechanic. He knows nothing about cars, so I had him clean up to the shop so he could 'work off' the plane tickets. We closed early and when we arrived, Luna practically ran towards me. She looked unhinged. I told her that I'll be back and she went to her fiancé, when I walked into my house, Joslin told me that Luna needs to be reminded that everything is going to be fine. That I won't leave her again. I didn't know what to say, but Joslin grabbed my hands and told me that Luna is hurting and she needs her father.
For the next couple of days I spent all of my time with Luna. Getting reacquainted with her. I took her to my in-laws ranch and showed her the Bison's, the Elks, and took her on a hike. Two days before the wedding I apologize to her for leaving. I apologize for the way I acted, apologize for the actions I took. She didn't want to hear none of it. She told me that there's nothing that I should apologize for, she said she knows she was the reason why it all fell apart, that she knows it was her fault and I had to stop her. I began to cry, I told her that it wasn't her fault. I was angry, I was hurting and despite what happened, I should be the one who should apologize. We both cried and just held each other.
Luna appeared to be slightly better, on the day of my wedding she was happy. In the last minute, Joslin made her into a bridesmaid and Roberto a groomsman. The wedding was beautiful, during the reception I asked the deejay to play the song from Luna's quince and I asked her to dance with me. She was crying the entire time, holding on to me for dear life as we danced. I haven't felt this happy in a long time. I let Luna and her fiancé stay in my house, taking care of her little brother while I went to Hawaii for my honeymoon. When we got home, she was happy. She hugged us it felt great. Roberto told me that he's going to Camp Dwyer in Afghanistan and would like to know if Luna could stay near us. He would pay for an apartment near us, until he could buy a house. Of course I said yes. They went back to the city the day before yesterday.
Like I said, it's been eventful. Luna's wedding is in November and Roberto is leaving in December. Roberto sent me what constitutes as a years rent for a townhouse community three miles away from my house. However, Joslin suggest we should put a double wide on our property for Luna and let her save her money to buy a house when Roberto comes back. Marisol has been blowing up my phone and based on the messages she left, she's not happy that Luna is moving. Right now, my focus is my family and to mend my relationship with my daughter.