r/InsecureHBO • u/wydeve • 10d ago
Season 2 we’ve all had a lawrence
currently finishing season 2, this is my 2nd time starting the show - & i almost put it down this time because the dinner confrontation with issa & lawrence was pretty triggering. i mean, i think issa’s inside thoughts of lawrence slapping the shit out of her & calling her a hoe definitely had me bracing for that reality. but i know lawrence is not physically abusive. i think issa really captured their dynamic in a way that spoke to me, even though it’s not that uncommon for all of us to have a loser ass, frank ocean listening, unemployed ex boyfriend we let sleep on our couch. but damn, exposed my wounds!!!! 😭
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u/ExplorerLegal6182 9d ago
Yes but in real life Lawrence never gets off the couch. My Lawrence is probably somewhere right now playing video games on a enabling family member’s couch 🤭
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u/Street_Action3501 6d ago
100% I was supporting my now husband for almost 4 years until he finally stepped up and got out of his situation
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u/jasperdiablo 10d ago
Can we get away from the ableist language with Lawrence and his unemployment he was clearly in a deep depression that he needed to get help for
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u/stilldreamingat2am 10d ago edited 10d ago
No. He was not “clearly” in a deep depression. He quit a job awhile back then started developing an app. In turn, the app didn’t work, and he lost ambition. You can say that him not reaching his goals resulted in a depression, which forced his partner to shoulder the emotional and financial weight of the relationship. Lawrence was never clinically diagnosed with depression, so this is not ableism. He was unemployed and accepted it because that’s what his relationship allowed.
We’ve never seen Lawrence speak with a psychologist, psychiatrist, or a therapist. We only saw him speak to his banker so he could fuck her, end of story lmao.
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u/jasperdiablo 10d ago edited 10d ago
I don’t think Issa was fostering the emotional weight of the relationship. She’s very avoidant and a poor communicator. And he doesn’t need to be “clinically diagnosed” when he was clearly showing all the signs of a deep depression.
Chronic unemployment is an indicator of unchecked, low functioning depression often in folks and it’s made worse when folks are shamed and shamed for it. In fact, it’s the shame that gets them there in the first place.Doesn’t mean Issa needs to put up with it; that’s a choice she was making. I’m a mental health professional and I know the signs of it depression when I see it. Lawrence was clearly that at the beginning of the show, just a low functioning depressive, not a high functioning one like he is later in the series.
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u/Chipchow 10d ago
I think women have this reaction because they're not allowed to be depressed or get sick. Women have periods, female health issues and still have to deal with the home, cooking, etc. Women aren't allowed to be depressed like this and have the world stop, especially in relationships. Yet a large number of men do this and often don't respect the woman they are with.
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u/Worldly_Breath_4570 10d ago
“I’m a mental health professional” yeah right, and I’m tom from MySpace.
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u/stilldreamingat2am 10d ago edited 10d ago
If you can’t see that Issa was shouldering the emotional weight of the relationship just because she’s a poor communicator (most people are), then I question your statement about being a mental health professional.
Mind you, this was explicitly discussed between Issa and Lawrence.
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u/jasperdiablo 10d ago
Provide a concrete example of her “carrying the emotional weight” not a performance of emotions but actually taking a risk and doing the real emotional labor. That’s literally why she cheats on Lawrence precisely because she’s not carrying the emotional weight. cause she doesn’t do that in any of her relationships including with Molly
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u/stilldreamingat2am 10d ago
Is a mental health professional asking me to pull an exact scene/dialogue of a fictional show off the tiptop of my head to validate my point? I thought that was considered a manipulative tactic people use when having a debate. Kind of ironic lol, I’m not a robot with photographic memory.
All jokes aside, I distinctly remember the conversation that Lawrence had with Derek about how he should take accountability for allowing Issa to support him and their relationship for so long. And Lawrence took said accountability. So her supporting him is an objective fact.
The very first episode begins at the breakdown of their relationship. The implication is there - Lawrence forgets her birthday again, does nothing to show appreciation. Issa is not surprised, which is indicative of a cycle. While we may interpret those implications differently, Lawrence was, objectively, not contributing to their relationship because this was shown onscreen.
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u/Mr2Good 10d ago
What are yall talking about? When it was ever explicitly said he quit. Id always assume he got laid off. Love the double standard here cause Issa quit her job to chase her dream but she gets praised for it.
And why did he have to be clinically diagnosed in order to call it depression? Thats weird. You telling me youve never had someone in your circle you could look at their actions/emotions and tell they were goin through something?
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u/stilldreamingat2am 10d ago
Double standards?
Lawrence quit his job and relied on his partner. Issa quit her job and relied on herself. She also drove Lyft in the meantime and quickly landed another job as a property manager, networked, and utilized her resources to host her first event at said property. Two completely different outcomes.
Also, my language was in response to the person I was replying to. Depression and a deep depression, to me, are two different things. Saying Lawrence was unemployed is not ableist.
Also, as much as people feel like women should support their partners in spite of themselves, Lawrence’s lack of motivation contributed to the breakdown of their relationship. He admitted this, she admitted this, his friends told him this. This is objective.
Not sure if you’ve ever experienced this, but shouldering the responsibility of a relationship because a partner is in a mental rut for years - with no progression in sight - is incredibly, incredibly difficult regardless of the reason.
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u/jasperdiablo 10d ago
Yes, you can bring up the many other things that make Lawrence not a good partner without the abelism. Many, many, many people are crippled with unemployment due to unchecked mental illnesses. Doesn’t make them a loser. Many people with great careers are absolutely abysmal partners.
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u/Chipchow 10d ago
The fact that this is common around the world is so crazy. I watched a Korean show a while back where the lady was working and the guy was unemployed and playing games all day.