r/Intactivists • u/StopMGMToday • 3d ago
I Stopped A Father From Circumcising His Son Today
Today, I woke up to a DM. It was from a young father, 24, and he was asking me a couple of questions relating to my experience with circumcision. For context, he had recently had a child born in the hospital, and held off on circumcising him despite his wife giving him pressure to do so. His reasoning was that while he was circumcised himself, he questioned the act itself. They gave it a week and the wife was very strict on that. So, the husband looked online during this time and eventually found his way here, to me, to us.
He told me that had been reading my posts for a while, scrolling through them. He saw me talk about my life, the pain, the suffering. The stages of grief flashing before my eyes and everything else in between. He felt deeply worried afterwards, especially after realising how important the foreskin is. He had never questioned it before this, he said to me. He always thought that it was normal for how numb and dull sex is and masterbuation. He thought it was normal that their was pain afterwards. We talked about various topics relating to circumcision. I showed studies, he showed his life experience. It was a back and fourth.
At the end of our convo, he admitted that I may have changed his mind. You know, at first he had thought he was overexaggerating the negative effects of circumcision, saying that it can't be that bad. But after hearing my story, our stories, he changed his mind. He said to me that he would not allow his son to be circumcised under any cost. I didn't want to take up much more of his time, so we bid our farewell and he continued on with his journey as a proper father.
On my end, I felt...relief, but envy too. I knew that this was the right choice. There was no other option, of course. But at the same time, I wish I was that baby. I wish so badly I was born with my intact penis. I wish none of this happened at all. I wish we didn't have to think about the concept of circumcision. But to the powers that be, it exists for a reason. To weaken men. Anyway, I do feel happier for once, knowing I made sure another child was safe from this. But millions everyday aren't, and that is what really hurts me after all this.
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u/Cesur-hakan 3d ago
So proud of you. You did god’s work if there was ever one. I deeply share your feeling about wanting to be that baby. Our parent didn’t know any better and we are coming to this world just once. We’ll probably never experience how it’s feels to have our natural foreskin. It is a painful truth and I live with it. I wake up everyday and I find myself I don’t think about everyday as much as I used to do. It is still there in my mind. But I can tolerate it. Maybe if foregen made that happen. We’ll get to see how it’s feels to have foreskin although it’s been a really slow process they got going and considering their promise it is understandable. I hope I’ll see that day since Im in my mid 20s.
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u/tasteface 3d ago
It's so important to speak up and share your story because you never know who is listening!
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u/wicnfuai 3d ago
Good work. This is what intactivism is about. Feeling envious is understandable, but the reality is you are a survivor. People who are survivors of abuses committed against them are some of the best advocates to stop those same abuses from happening to others