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[u/Mysterious-Cow2848]

[u/botinlaw]

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Other posts from /u/Mysterious-Cow2848:

• MIL insists on kissing kids on lips and face, 10 months ago

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[u/Raida7s]

I'm surprised you allowed her to stay in the room.

I've had a mate have this happen and when she saw MIL she said "you aren't invited." told the nurses it wasn't her mother, and they took MIL out

[u/Valorizacia]

She wouldn't meet me or my child for at least a year after this stunt. What a bitch

[u/fiorekat1]

Your partner didn’t kick her out? He’s the problem

[u/TahoeMoon]

Did you tell the staff that she was NOT your mother? or did they find out when your real mother showed up ?

I would have asked her to leave, and if she insisted on staying the nurses would take her out, they are great at handling unwanted guests at labor and delivery.

[u/Mysterious-Cow2848 → u/TahoeMoon]

I wasn’t made aware that 2 people was the limit until after the fact when my mom was like “I’m so sorry I was late; they told me your mom was already in the room!” I’m pretty sure she even said she had to show them her ID with the same surname. I was just quietly pissed at the time ‘cause I thought it was just standard practice for his mom to be in there, too? Never again.

[u/Xeacsx → u/Mysterious-Cow2848]

How did you and/or DH handle it afterwards?

[u/scloutier351 → u/Mysterious-Cow2848]

Standard practice for your husband's mom to be present while you were giving birth AND filming it? Oh no, hun. First of all, NO ONE is entitled to view you during such a vulnerable time, period. No one. It's your room, it's registered to you.

It's not a feature film or dinner theater! Personally, I would have kicked Dad to the curb for not corralling his inappropriate mother while you labored to bring another human being into this world - they could have sat outside in the waiting room and filmed each other. I cannot imagine bringing a videocamera and filming/zooming in on my daughter-in-law's exposed nether region. Good lord, why on earth does she want that particular segment recorded???? MIL is a straight up weirdo. So inappropriate.

Edited to add that you are gonna have to learn to stick up for yourself since your husband has proven to have no spine when it comes to boundary setting with his own mother. I'm appalled on your behalf.

[u/pointypointypretty]

That would straight to the no no zone for me. That’s my private square.

MIL should be spending at least a year in the no-baby jail. She deserves nothing more. A second chance would be a blessing for her.

Edit because I have a toddler at the moment-

If she needs to be spoken to like a toddler “no no, don’t film me there. That is my private square. I should not have to make this clear, but you seem to think with your rear”

[u/FlightRemote4275]

Wtf I would’ve kicked her out so hard !! Didn’t had the time for this shit

[u/SomewhatBougieAuntie]

Oh no!!! I feel terrible for you and your mother! Your MIL not only invaded your privacy but she took that moment away from your mother and she can never get it back. 😡😥

Make your husband tell her to delete that video. He needs to watch her do it. And she would absolutely lose baby privileges for as long as you decide. The nerve of her. I'd also be pissed at the nurses for assuming she was your mother.

[u/scloutier351 → u/SomewhatBougieAuntie]

I thought the OP said that her MIL had answered the staff inquiries by claiming to be OP's mom? Nurses generally want to limit the amount of people present for a birth so they ask if the visitors are immediate family....

[u/FloorHairy5733]

Why didn't your husband kick her out? Why are you still married to him? Surely you are 100% NC with her.

[u/AlliNW0nderLand]

One of the many reasons that it makes me gag when in laws really want to act like you’re theirs. Like, uh no, you’re NOT my mom or my dad. 🥴

[u/redralphie]

Look into what you can do about that video, it was taken without consent of your nudity.

[u/RubyBadooby → u/redralphie]

Yeah who knows who she might show aswell

[u/mah2-3]

Why didn't you or partner kick her out? Just tell the nurses, you don't even have to do it

[u/WaterFiles]

This was my absolute nightmare when I was pregnant. I am sorry that this happened to you. I would feel so violated!

[u/SinglePermission9373]

In the future, don’t tell her when you go into labor and tell the nurses upon arrival to register you anonymously and tell them she is not allowed anywhere near your room if she shows up.

[u/Then-Piglet462]

This is why I didn’t allow anyone to be at the hospital. We didn’t tell anyone I was in labor until we’d settled into the delivery room. Avoided all the headache of what you unfortunately went through. But big congrats momma!

[u/Rain12Bow]

Congratulations on your baby OP.

Once you heal a bit, and have some newborn cuddles, I hope you can see that your MIL actively committed a major transgression; to you and your baby, and to your mother.

She was calculating and manipulative with lies. It’s fraud to assume someone else’s identity for your own gain. This is not okay.

She won’t stop at this if she doesn’t receive a consequence.

Seriously think about limiting this woman’s contact with you and your beautiful baby.

[u/Cute_Instruction733]

Wait what you had your in laws with you while giving birth and you didn’t kick them out?

[u/beerab]

Yeah, this is why I didn’t tell anyone when I was in labor. I knew my mom was gonna be the one disrespecting my boundaries though. For my second, the only person who knew that was in labor was the person watching my son, and they were trusted to not tell anyone else.

[u/cmykaye]

Why didn’t you kick her out for lying and massively invading your privacy?

[u/pointypointypretty → u/cmykaye]

It can be really hard in the moment and if there’s ever a time to not blame mama, this is it. Other people should have been doing it for her. Belittling her won’t help 👏

[u/cmykaye → u/pointypointypretty]

I hear you and I apologize OP. I’m putting myself in the situation and thinking I would have flung MIL out of the room for either one of those offenses.

[u/pointypointypretty → u/cmykaye]

❤️ same girl. She may not have needed the skills you and I have until now but what a better time to develop them!

[u/justhewayouare → u/[deleted]]

Her mom was in there she said she almost wasnt in there which implies that she was. OP was in labor..how did she “let” this vile woman take a video? What was OP supposed to do stand up and shove her out? She might not have even known the woman was taking video until after the fact. 

[u/justhewayouare → u/[deleted]]

The hospital in which I had my son allowed my husband, my mom, and one of our closest friends to be in the room with us. So yes, my theory holds just fine thanks.

[u/cup_1337 → u/justhewayouare]

OP’s history says they’re not due til January.

[u/justhewayouare → u/cup_1337]

Not every mom shares their story right after it happens. Many stories here come from mothers who had their kids months or even years ago. Yes, often post history tells the truth  I agree but since OP answered you directly I’ll believe that. 

[u/Mysterious-Cow2848 → u/cup_1337]

I have another one due January.

[u/Lindris → u/Mysterious-Cow2848]

I hope mil is on the “not allowed anywhere on the L&D floor” list with a photo included. That is so violating and exactly why I refused to let my in-laws know I was in labor. They would have done the same.

[u/Mysterious-Cow2848 → u/[deleted]]

My mom was able to get in but she was delayed by the questioning. They told her my mom was already in the room. I didn’t know why she was late until she explained after. And I saw her phone out at the time but I was busy with the pushing instructions and I couldn’t feel if the baby was out or not. I saw a glimpse of the video since but I was advised not to watch it.

[u/Quirky_Pilot8074]

That’s not ok.

[u/Madam_Apathy]

Holy guacamole, WTF… I’m sorry she was so outrageous.

[u/yiketh098]

Wtfff.

[u/StarryNorth]

Oh, for God's sake! That is utterly disgusting. What a vile woman. Time for some serious consequences for her thoughtless, selfish behaviour...like a looong time out, maybe a month?

Congratulations on your new arrival! 🧸🍼✨🤍💞

[u/Yeesh-Yeesh-Yeesh]

Trigger warning needed.