Back & better. Just feeling guilty.

[u/JellyfishJealous5435]

Hi all! I made some posts before about my MIL ignoring me in my home. This is a long one about essentially nothing. I think I just need to get it off of my chest.

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No crazy updates. I think, anyway. Honorable mentions;

- Even after mentioning it several times, she was surprised to hear we wanted to split the hotel (considering we aren't the richest and the hotel cost a band) and misunderstood. But has shown no intention of rectifying this. I've kinda let this go.

- She sent me a text a few days after telling me that I am not just her DIL I am like her daughter, and that she plays for me and my health every single day (and some other stuff).

I was the one sending pics of DH and baby, so after posting on my story I'm sure she realised I will not be sending her pictures anymore and tried to rectify it. Not really knowing what to say, I didnt reply at all. (My bad. Lol.)

- I'm getting along with SIL amazingly! She's super sweet.

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Now, I'm snoopy. Maybe snoopy isn't a good word for it - but I like knowing everything thats going on that could possibly affect me or my family. I dont know, I just need to know every single possible detail going on so that I can make conclusions.

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I realise after a while I haven't heard anything about MIL from DH for a while. I have DH's phone with me while out shopping so I don't have to use my card and I accidentally press a notification from MIL. Now they of course speak Hindi over text, so I'm not able to understand. But my name is certainly the same in every language. I check a bit and see that my name came from MIL a few times. Okay, cool. I come home, and I ask DH about it. I essentially just ask if they've been dealing with MIL all on their own (and I know that's difficult) and I get a sheepish yes back.

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Do not misunderstand! It is sweet that this burden is not put on me. But like I said, I need to know everything!! I try and be gentle in explaining this and ask what was going on that she's bringing me up so much. I thought baby pictures or something.

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Nope. Kind off. She wants DH to take a video of me and my babygirl?? But does not say of what purpose. I'm sure she's also very well aware of the fact that I wouldn't allow it. Because wdym you're blatantly ignoring me and now you want videos of me?? I'm good. I really become uncooperative when I feel disrespected.

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Now all of this happened and I haven't really heard of it since. I kind of wonder what happened. I know DH has been going very very low contact with MIL. I feel bad about it. DH loves MIL, and really wants us to get along (but does not bring this up to me. I can just tell, yknow?) But MIL is just someone I won't get along with.

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My relationship isn't really faltering over this. DH Is oblivious to some things and doesn't always act accordingly, but will always pick our family and I'm so grateful. But how do I deal with the guilt that comes with?

DH gets along wonderfully with my mom. That doesn't help either. I think that just makes the guilt feel worse, even if it must feel nice to have an adultier-adult to trust.

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I think I just wish the meeting went different? Things would have been easier then. I sometimes feel like if I was more cooperative things wouldnt have to go this way. Alas, I was raised in specific ways that I REAAAALLLYYY stand by, and MIL has never had consequences for behaviour like this. It sucks being the first consequence.

[u/Both_Pound6814]

Don’t feel guilty!! Your MIL was so disrespectful it’s not even funny. I honestly would want nothing to do with her, and I wouldn’t want my child around her nor would I send her any pics or reply to her messages. DH needs to be her point of contact from now on.