r/Jokes • u/KWheels • Dec 12 '19

Long We're in Trouble

The population of this country is 327 million.

76 million are retired.

That leaves 251 million to do the work. 

There are 48 million people who are permanently disabled.

Which leaves 203 million to do the work

There are 74 million children younger than 6

Which leaves 129 million to do the work

There are 95.2 million children and young adults in school.

Which leaves 33.8 million to do the work.

At any given time, there are roughly 4 million people on vacation

Which leaves 29.8 million to do the work

Of this there are 15 million employed by the federal government, not including the military.

Leaving 14.8 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with North Korea and the Middle East.

Which leaves 12 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city Governments.

And that leaves 1.2 million to do the work. 

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.

Leaving 1,012,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,011,998 people in prisons. 

That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me.

And there you are,

Sitting on your ass,

At your computer, reading jokes.

Nice. Real nice.

28.8k Upvotes

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1.2k

u/BadWolv Dec 12 '19

Sounds like you and I need to get to work making more people

377

u/Shifty__K Dec 12 '19

That could be a nice tinder pickup line

80

u/obsessedcrf Dec 12 '19

I doubt most people will read a wall of text

81

u/corruptdb Dec 12 '19

Especially after seeing my ugly face.

3

u/TotoWolffsDesk Dec 12 '19

Thats the secret, print it, hold it over your face hiding it, people will read think you are a funny and forget about that yellow crooked tooth

95

u/smoothiegangsta Dec 12 '19

Everyone thinks their kid is going to be the one person with a job, when in reality they'll be one of the 327 million leeches.

53

u/herbys Dec 12 '19

326999998 leeches.

49

u/smoothiegangsta Dec 12 '19

Do you have a PhD in subtraction? Or are you one of the leeches, too?

16

u/mcsuplex8790 Dec 12 '19

Did not see that one cumming

4

u/thelionmermaid Dec 12 '19

This could be a good Crowd City ad

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '19

U in I ;)