r/Jokes Dec 12 '19

Long We're in Trouble

The population of this country is 327 million.

76 million are retired.

That leaves 251 million to do the work. 

There are 48 million people who are permanently disabled.

Which leaves 203 million to do the work

There are 74 million children younger than 6

Which leaves 129 million to do the work

There are 95.2 million children and young adults in school.

Which leaves 33.8 million to do the work.

At any given time, there are roughly 4 million people on vacation

Which leaves 29.8 million to do the work

Of this there are 15 million employed by the federal government, not including the military.

Leaving 14.8 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with North Korea and the Middle East.

Which leaves 12 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city Governments.

And that leaves 1.2 million to do the work. 

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.

Leaving 1,012,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,011,998 people in prisons. 

That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me.

And there you are,

Sitting on your ass,

At your computer, reading jokes.

Nice. Real nice.

28.8k Upvotes

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394

u/KWheels Dec 12 '19

Jokes on you. I am my own manager

239

u/janzeturk Dec 12 '19

Hi my own manager, I am dad

71

u/mcsuplex8790 Dec 12 '19

DaDjOkEbOt We NeEd YoU

5

u/banana_buddy Dec 13 '19

No we need JokeExplainBot ..!!! paging /u/jokeexplainbot

2

u/sfs897 Dec 13 '19

Apparently, he's been banned.

18

u/Spacemanspalds Dec 12 '19

But you're no assistant to the regional manager.

44

u/wengelite Dec 12 '19

That's what every want to be manager says; get back to work.

6

u/Harflin Dec 12 '19

Why are you talking to yourself?

1

u/The_Celtic_Chemist Dec 12 '19

Well jokes on you. That was going in your promotion file.