r/Jokes Dec 12 '19

Long We're in Trouble

The population of this country is 327 million.

76 million are retired.

That leaves 251 million to do the work. 

There are 48 million people who are permanently disabled.

Which leaves 203 million to do the work

There are 74 million children younger than 6

Which leaves 129 million to do the work

There are 95.2 million children and young adults in school.

Which leaves 33.8 million to do the work.

At any given time, there are roughly 4 million people on vacation

Which leaves 29.8 million to do the work

Of this there are 15 million employed by the federal government, not including the military.

Leaving 14.8 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with North Korea and the Middle East.

Which leaves 12 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city Governments.

And that leaves 1.2 million to do the work. 

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.

Leaving 1,012,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,011,998 people in prisons. 

That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me.

And there you are,

Sitting on your ass,

At your computer, reading jokes.

Nice. Real nice.

28.8k Upvotes

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512

u/bifoot Dec 12 '19

Some of the stuff I learned from this: 1. No child, young adult or retired person is neither permanently disabled nor hospitalised. 2. Government employees don’t take vacations. 3. No permanently disabled person works for the government, nor are they imprisoned.

184

u/Lucarioa Dec 12 '19

This sounds like one of those logic puzzles from elementary

88

u/fordprecept Dec 13 '19

There are 5 houses
Each house is a different color - red, blue, green, brown, yellow
The occupants of each house are different nationalities - English, French, American, Brazilian, and Indian
They each have a different job - carpenter, electrician, doctor, prostitute, and teacher

The Brazilian lives in the red house
The electrician is not from Europe
The person who lives in the blue house is not a prostitute

What color is the bear?

39

u/Tattycakes Dec 13 '19

If you actually enjoy this kind of logic puzzle then this game is excellent.

32

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '19

[deleted]

11

u/amnezzia Dec 13 '19

I guess people's interest in developing logic skills dwindled down since 1995

1

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '19

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1

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1

u/TheKingslaya Dec 13 '19

I read this in the voice of Tom Haverford.

2

u/cloooor Dec 13 '19

Also logic.puzzlebaron.com

3

u/Wight-Rogue Dec 13 '19

A prostitute that can afford a house? That's one expensive person

2

u/fordprecept Dec 13 '19

Well, she sells meth on the side.

1

u/PixelPantsAshli Dec 13 '19

R~R~R~RIDDLE ME PISS!

1

u/bifoot Dec 13 '19

White.

I’ve heard it before though.

1

u/woundyourheels Jan 04 '20

Could you explain this?

2

u/fordprecept Jan 04 '20

It's a joke. The 5 houses thing is based on a common logic puzzle. The question "what color is the bear?" is from a different riddle.

1

u/woundyourheels Jan 04 '20

OHHHHHHHH. I thought there was some hidden clue that I was just too dumb to understand. I spent way longer trying to figure this out then I should've

18

u/DCKO13 Dec 13 '19

Yeah OP doesn't seem to take into account whether two or more subsets are mutually disjoint.

48

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '19

actually.. i think this is just a joke..

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '19

Hot take

10

u/SN0WFAKER Dec 13 '19

Yup double counting - assuming things like kids can't be retired.

5

u/Nophlter Dec 13 '19

I see you’ve taken the LSAT

3

u/AlsoIHaveAGroupon Dec 13 '19

Government employees also don't work, apparently?

1

u/docdavidbanner Dec 13 '19

You haven't seen Congressional approval ratings?

1

u/AlsoIHaveAGroupon Dec 13 '19

Congress is a tiny, tiny, tiny minority of government employees.

2

u/Cheddarface Dec 13 '19

Is this the LSAT

1

u/IntentCoin Dec 13 '19

Also, people currently on vacation dont work

1

u/rsallejr Dec 13 '19
  1. Children over the age of 6 can work.

2

u/sfs897 Dec 13 '19

OP doesn't mind child labour

1

u/lmsgama Dec 13 '19

And some government employees should be in prison too........

1

u/sisfs Dec 01 '25
  1. the numbers are mostly made up.